Our reality //m.g.c//

Thirty three

"Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?"
~Mary Manin Morrissey

"If you don't stop acting like this you will succeed in pushing away every single person that cares about you Ava."

"Just leave me be Noah. Sydney gave up so why can't you?!"

"Because you are my friend Ava. One of the best ones."

"Well I don't want to be so...so just leave."

Insincerity was very obvious in Ava's voice but Noah lost all power of resistance. Every molecule in his body and every atom of his strength went in fixing his friend for the past six months and he couldn't do it any longer. He had no strength left and so he did as asked and left her house. As soon as the door closed, Ava collapsed on the floor and tears flew from her eyes. She couldn't bare all these emotions she constantly had. Never before has she felt that helpless with all the help she had. Immediately after everything went down in Bali, every friend in the gigantic friend circle came to help and gave it their best shot but one by one they all left because she was too much to handle. She pushed each and every one away and on the first day of summer vacations she pushed away the last person that cared and wanted to help her even after nearly 7 months of her constant mood swings and all time bitchy acting. But not even Noah was indestructible and so she sucked all power out of him just like everyone before but this time she was left utterly alone. But she wanted that. Or so she thought until it happened. She sat there for the longest time before getting up and in bed.

The first three weeks of summer vacations went by slowly and boringly. Since she had no one, Ava spent every day in bed. She ate almost nothing and just slept through most days so by the middle of the first week, she didn't even know what day it was. Then, after three weeks, Luke came home because the tour was over and he wanted to, for the third time in a row, celebrate his birthday at home. For the whole of two days, Ava didn't even see the blonde at the house because she was avoiding him massively. But then on the third day, the day of his birthday, he walked into her room like they were friends.

"Want to come out with us for my birthday?"

Ava that looked like a living skeleton looked up from her bed and the look she gave him felt like something that could literally kill a person.

"I'd much rather die because of cancer, thank you very much. Now get the fuck out of my room."

Luke, despite every survival instinct in what so ever, closed the door behind him and sat on her bed only inches away from the blonde girl.

"Look Ava, I don't know how many times I have to say I'm sorry for what happened. I've said it a billion times already and I'll say it again. I am truly sorry. But you need to move on."

"And I don't know how many times I have to respond the same way. I don't give a fuck about your apologies and I would rather die then ever be friends with any of you again. And now, for the second time. Get. The fuck. Out. Of. My. Room."

Still, Luke didn't move an inch and just stared back at Ava as intensely as she stared at him. Of course he lost the staring contest but that didn't make him move either.

"Look I don't know what else to say. You don't want to be my friend? Fine. I'm okay with that because I wouldn't want to be my friend either in your position. But want it or not, you are still my step sister and looking at you here, I'm honestly scared for you and I want to help."

"You can help by leaving me alone like everyone else."

"No, no I can't. Everyone left you alone because you pushed them away not because they would stop caring for you. Your friends are just as worried as I am but none of them dares to even walk near here since you've been so mean to all of them. And I am not giving up on you because want it or not we are family."

"Family doesn't do what you did."

"For fucks sake Ava. Don't you think I know that? I fucking know this is all my fault and I am trying. I am trying as hard as I can to help but you have to be willing to receive help in order for me to be able to actually help."

Ava didn't respond to that and was just looking at her minty carpet on the floor. So Luke did something no one dared doing for the last couple of months. He grabbed her hand and interlaced it with his. His warmth sent shivers down Ava's whole body and tears to her eyes. Admittedly or not, she missed every single person she pushed out of her life.

"No one can help you if you don't want to be helped so just make one small step and everyone will be there to help you make more steps in the right direction. All it takes is a small push from you for everyone that still cares about you to pull as hard as they can. But you have to push. Just a little. Just once."

And just like that, tears fell from Ava's eyes as she squeezed Luke's hand. He knew that this was her way of making a push and he was willing to pull as hard as he could to help her because his choices made her fall into the state that she was then. So he quite literally pulled her petite body closer to himself and hugged her tightly. So tightly, it even hurt Ava a little. But because she hadn't been hugged in so long by her own fault, she didn't mind it. She even hugged him back. And just like that, every hard feeling, every piece of anger directed towards the blonde evaporated into thin air because he was there when she needed him and at that point, that was the only thing that mattered. Who was there for you when you needed them.