Our reality //m.g.c//

Thirty five

"Forgiveness is about empowering yourself, rather than empowering your past."
~T.D. Jakes

Ava had a feeling that all four boys left the house as she came out of her room she spent the past couple of days in precisely because there were the boys around. But she was clearly wrong as she nearly crashed into one of them. Without looking up she knew it was Ashton.

"Sorry, I thought you all left."

Her voice was unlike her very quiet and humming.

"What are you apologizing for?"

The blonde shrugged and walked away and toward the kitchen where she was previously headed. Ashton followed her and pulled her towards him as he caught up to her. Ava didn't resist the pull but she did shake his hand off afterwards.

"Can we please talk?"

"We are talking."

"I still care about you and I want to help. As much as I can."

The girl just nodded and awkward silence fell over the two.

"Did you talk to Noah yet?"

Again, Ava nodded silently.

"And what did he say?"

"That he's happy I'm trying. And that he's here for me."

"Well so am I Ava. I know, I should've told you what happened as soon as it happened but...god I don't know, I just believed that if Mike were to talk to you it would have been better and-"

"It's fine Ash. Michael was your friend long before you met me. Of course you didn't say anything since he asked you not to."

"I still should have. It might have-"

"Ended differently? Probably, but for worse."

"I don't think this could be any worse then it was...is."

Ava scoffed and looked at the hazel eyed boy.

"It could be much, much worse. Now, only I am so...well Luke is better then ever. He's out of a relationship he didn't really want to be in and out of this endless toxic cycle with Michael and speaking of Michael, he is finally getting the help he needed for a long time. Everything ended fine."

"You don't look so fine."

"Well then everything besides me ended fine."

Ashton didn't know how to reply so he stayed quiet and so did Ava.

"Right now, at this moment, what do you want most?"

Hard question to answer and it took a while. All the thoughts that were running inside Ava's head screaming opposite things confused her so she looked up at one of her former best friends and saw what look the hazel eyed boy was giving her. She wanted to say so many things but nothing really felt right so she said what she felt could be the only real thing she wished for since Bali.

"To be able to move on."

Then Ashton, without any thinking at all, pulled the small girl into his hug and wrapped his arms tightly around her. All though the blonde's initial reaction was to pull away being in the curly haired boys hug again calmed her down and felt like one of the missing pieces of her life just came back. For a long time the two stayed like that in the middle of the kitchen before Ashton eventually let go of Ava and looked her deep into the green eyes.

"I'm here for you. Always and forever. And for the next couple of months I am quite literally here."

"You're staying in Australia?"

For the first time in ages, Ava's voice had a happy, almost excited undertone and Ashton smiled with his cute dimple showing smile and nodded.

"Yeah well the whole thing with you all, and especially the shit Arzaylea then started really did a number on this band and we just kind of figured...maybe we did loose ourselves in the fame. Or at least we were headed vastly toward losing ourselves. So we collectively decided to try and find ourselves again of sorts to just...you know see if the band will be able to go on."

"You think about ending the band?"

"We don't want to, but since all the mental health issues surfaced along with all the scandals and the growing fame we just decided to take a short break and see if we can regroup after being sure of who we are as individuals before figuring out where this whole group is headed."

The news were shocking to the girl but she understood as she did see how more and more lost they were getting as the game grew and they were still young.

"So do you think...um...that the band will survive?"

Ashton considered for a second and then nodded which made Ava exhale the breath she didn't know she was holding in.

"I think we will be back but it might be a while before a new album comes."

"Why?"

"Finding yourself...that is one thing. But to find who you are as a group of people and figure out what direction you should go in and to even write about your experience with a new mindset for a new musical direction...that is a whole other thing. And this will probably take a long time."

Ava nodded understandingly and the pair moved into her room where they chatted for hours before the rest of the boys came home. Luke gently knocked on the door and wasn't able to hide his surprised face when he saw Ashton and Ava talking and actually laughing about something.

"I see you two bonded back."

Ava looked at him and he once again noticed that little spark in her eyes as she nodded smilingly.

"Yeah.. I guess I figured I need the good people in my life."

"Well Ash is definitely good. You feeling better mate?"

Ashton nodded.

"Yeah I think I just needed this little pinch of sarcasm to fix me right up."

Another knock was heard and Calum peeked in.

"Can I join? Unless you don't want to see me which is totally okay as well because i know that-"

Ava laughed and Calum stopped rambling and just stared at the blonde.

"You don't have to be so nervous. Of course you can join. Come in."

And so, just like that, the three boys were sitting in Ava's room with her and were talking and laughing just like nothing had happened. Everything seemed just like before except that it wasn't. Outside of that perfect circle, Calum was still nervous and didn't want to say anything that could potentially upset Ava, Ashton was still having panic attacks because of all the overbearing worries he had, Luke was still broken and sad and Ava was still depressed but in those moments everything felt fine. Everything felt right and for the first time in a long time, everything felt okay again.