Our reality //m.g.c//

Forty one

"Our feelings are our most genuine paths."
~Audre Lorde

The party was being held at Calum's house which was about a 20 minute drive from Luke's place. So the trio finally made it there right before the guests would start arriving.

"Happy birthday Ava."

Calum hugged his friend and she wished him the same wish back.

"Happy birthday to you too Cal."

Then he let them all in and moments later, Sydney and Ashton arrived. So the gang was almost complete. Just as the clock hit 7 PM, there was a knock on the door and Calum quickly went to open it. As he did so, a blonde haired Michael stood there. Michael wished Calum a happy early birthday and then joined the others in the living room. The guests wouldn't start arriving until at least half an hour later which meant awkward trying to avoid eye contact and avoiding the blonde boy as much as possible for Ava. But, as much as she wanted to leave him alone, he wanted to talk to her. So he walked up to her, Noah being right by her side the entire time, and looked her straight into the eyes. Those grayish green eyes brought so many memories to Michael he forced himself to look away which didn't bother the short girl one bit. Every single pair of eyes in the room was hanging on their interactions and it felt like everyone collectively held their breath in as Michael extended his arm.

"Happy 21st birthday Ava."

She gave him her hand and forced a smile on her face. She knew it was very visibly fake but at least he could appreciate the effort she put into not having a mental breakdown from just seeing him let alone looking him in the eyes and touching his hand. Now surprisingly for her, the physical contact didn't make her heart flutter, or her body vibrate the way it used to. Her body was just generically refused to accept any kind of contact with the boy who broke her heart so she counted that as a good thing. After that interaction was over, Michael wanted to strike up a conversation but Noah beat him to it.

"Hey Ava, can I talk to you for a sec? Really important and private."

Ava gave him a thankful look and nodded as he dragged her away from her ex.

"Thank you so much for that. I really don't want to talk to him."

"Yeah no shit since neither do I and I wasn't even the heartbroken one."

The blonde rolled her green eyes but still smiled thankfully at her best friend.

"So I really did want to ask...how did it feel?"

"How did what feel?"

"You know...seeing him for the first time in like a year and looking into his eyes and shit. Like, did you feel like you wanted to go back and be with him or..."

"Oh hell no."

Ava shook her head strongly which felt like a burden falling of Noah's chest. He was so worried she wasn't over the guitarist that he was almost literally shaking.

"It did feel like I don't want to interact with him but it wasn't like...like before you know. Before we got together I didn't want to be around him because he made me feel vulnerable and like he was breaking down my walls which was never done to me before that and I just felt like...like I might...fuck I don't know how to explain. Every time he looked at me before it felt like he was really seeing me you know? And that scared me. Also, just his touch sent all kinds of impulses trough my body. But now...gosh it just felt like my body was refusing him. Like he was this...thing my body wanted to eliminate and get out of my system. I don't know how to explain but it definitely didn't feel like I want to go back and be with him."

Noah exhaled deeply. He didn't even care if Ava noticed his relief at this point because he was just so damn happy she was over the douchebag that made her life a living hell.

"So you'd say you're over him?"

"Over him is a pretty aggressive term. I mean yeah, in terms of being in a relationship with him I am over that but he will always, no matter what, have this special place in my hear so I don't think I'll ever be 100% over him. But that doesn't mean I'd ever date him again. Because I wouldn't. Ever."

"Yeah he was your first love so it's understandable that you'll never really forget him. But...I don't think he showed you the love you deserve?"

Ava sat down on a staircase and looked up into Noah's golden eyes. They looked burdened by something.

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's just...from what you've told me and what I've heard from other people, he never really made you feel safe in a sense of you knowing he only loved you and would never...you know...um.. cheat or whatever."

"Umm I guess. Like sure there always was this little voice in my head telling me he could still be in love with Luke and all but I knew he loved me..."

"That's the point. He was your first love. He was the first guy you ever dated and actually had feelings for. And because he was the first one, and this was your first like real relationship of sorts, you don't really know much about love. You only know the love Michael showed you and that is not what love is supposed to feel like. Like yeah okay, the sensations and the jolts of energy that is what love feels like for sure but good and real relationships based on love should be built on trust. And you shouldn't have to constantly silent out a voice telling you not to trust your boyfriend. That voice shouldn't even have existed if the person was trust worthy. Like sure, you can get jealous from time to time but that is just because of your own insecurities not because you'd know the other person would cheat...do you get my drift here?"

Ava bit her lip and tilted her head slightly.

"Umm well I guess I get what you are trying to tell me but I don't get where this is going..."

"Yeah, I'll get to the point soon. I promise. But this is important for you to hear. What you felt for Michael was 100% real. It was love and it was great. But what your relationship ended up being wasn't exactly how relationships are supposed to be. You aren't supposed to tolerate your boyfriend flirt with his best friend all the time, you aren't supposed to tolerate your boyfriend having feeling for his ex while being with you and especially if that ex was still his best friend. You aren't supposed to tolerate this kind of shit bit you wouldn't know because this is the only thing you've ever known."

Ava was still looking at him confused at where this conversation was headed as the golden eyed boy took a deep breath before returning to his speech.

"So I guess what I'm trying to say is, that you need someone to show you what love in a relationship should actually feel like. How safe and secure you are supposed to feel in a relationship and how you always feel like that person lives you and only you."

"Okay...and who do you suggest because I don't really see anyone signing up for that. Fixing a broken girl sounds...fun."

Noah took another deep breath. This was the moment of truth. The moment he had been waiting on since he met the beautiful blonde girl. He extended his arm to help her get up and as she was standing there, her green eyes attached to his golden ones, he begun the last part of his speech.

"Well I don't know about fixing a broken girl because you seemed to have fixed yourself up pretty great but I so know someone who has been lined up for showing you how relationships should feel like for quite some time now."

Just then something in Ava's head clicked and she started getting a grip on what was happening.

"Ava, from the moment I first spoke to you and you quoted Ray Bradbury, I knew I liked you. Then as our friendship grew, so did my feelings for you and when I saw how much you suffered and tolerated for Michael I knew, I wanted to show you what loving someone unconditionally in a relationship feels like. But then, after everything that happened in Bali, you had enough problems and shit to handle and you didn't need my messy feelings on top. Now, I know you are still in the process of finding yourself but I know for a fact, you are as yourself as ever with me because you have said so yourself. I do not need you to change or tolerate me being in love with my best friend or me not being here because I'm on another continent half of the year or anything like that. I am right here, I am right now and I am in love with you Ava Sophia Walker."