A S T A T I C [s.hitoshi & k.denki]

forty

"Ohshitohshitohshitohshit—"

Denki sat in his dorm room, coddled in a bundle of weighted blankets and body hidden under the electric printed sheets.

Okay, he's stupid, he knew that. Not everyone can relate to neglect, why did he think that was a good joke?

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck I'm fucking stupid!" The blonde muttered, gold eyes wide in fear as the man remembered Shinsou's face.

It was laced with concern, eyebrows stitched in question as Denki could feel himself drifting away.

The blonde felt like his skin wasn't his, eyes laced with a wetness that irritated his cheeks, though he couldn't stop the tremble of his lips.

Shinsou looked so confused, so shocked that Denki had ever said such a thing; the blonde cursed his mouth. His shaky hands holding over his lips as he silenced his whimpers, curled up underneath the dark cover of his bed.

The images he saw at that moment, the memory that he blinked back to, it was had let his rope go and let him float off.

The second time sleeping in the doghouse, dead of winter, no blankets. The blonde had been 9 at most, and even as he was now 19; he still felt like a little boy, quivering away from the cold.

His little self could be seen holding himself, sock-covered feet rubbing against each other for warmth, red sweater fluffy on him as the tears he cried would drip down his chin frozen. His little hands were numb from banging on the door so long, crying to be let back in. Yet it would be impossible, the blonde saw the hate in his mother's eyes, the gold eyes he inherited stabbing right into his soul.

His baby hands shook, and so did his hands now.

Breathing patternless, his lungs expanded and shrunk as he tried to calm himself. Finally poking his head out of the sheets and meeting a Pikachu plush that stared at him with it's detective uniform on.

He just needed to read, yeah, just calm down and read something.

Stepping a cold foot out and a shaky hand in, the backpack Denki always carried empty of the velvet-covered book.

Denki froze, eyes beginning to water again in the layers of stress again.

He'll just have to avoid Shinsou for a while, at least until he finds his book.