Roadtrip Oneshots (BxB)

a moment too late• OT5 (Part 1)

Major trigger warning: the following oneshot contains self harm, suicide, major character death, suicidal thoughts, andy explicit detail into each of the things I have just mentioned
I beg that if you feel uncomfortable or may get triggered by this; you DO NOT READ. your mental health matters more to me than the amount of reads this OS gets.

also, this oneshot is not meant to imply that Rye or any of the boys have anything i listed above. This is all purely fiction from my messed up mind :)

Enjoy, and get ready to cry ur heart out ;)

-X-

gently, i rolled up my sleeves, holding in the sobs that threatned to escape my lips. my fingers trembled as i traced the pre-exsisting scars that littered my forearm and wrist. my tanned skin had become a pretty display of whites, pinks and reds. Some old, some new, but most fresh. all varying in size and shape.

i gasped in pain, applying pressure to one of the fresher cuts, tears streaming down my face as the stinging sensation numbed the rest of my body.

sharply, i stood up; my head spinning as i staggered over to my mirror. i looked myself up and down, pointing out every single flaw i could see. my hair too flat, my eyes were dull and tired, the bags under my eyes looked like bruises. i'd lost my abs. scars covered my body. i despised everything about my body.

i punched the mirror, shattering the glass. i cursed, flicking my wrist as pain spiked my knuckles. the skin looking like it had forcefully been ripped away. i covered my hands with the ends of my jumper.

my whole body was trembling as i left my room, an attempt to escape the toxic thoughts that plagued my mind. i prayed that one of the boys was around to talk. i cut around the corner towards Andy's room.

i heard the guitar as i drew closer, making my faulter in step. hesitantly, i knocked. the guitar immediately stopped and was soon followed by an annoyed "come in" and i regretted bothering him.

"what is it? i'm a bit busy right now" Andy was perched on his bed, guitar in his lap and keyboard infront of him. there was so much paper littered everywhere that i could no longer see the wooden floorboards hidden beneath.

i felt my eyes well up with tears, hearing his tone and knowing i had disturbed him. I forced it down.

"can we talk? it's kind of important" i put all my effort into not letting my voice give away how i was feeling, my eyes trained on the floor.

"right now? can't it wait? Blair wants these lyrics by 10 tonight so he and Charlie can makes changes". just as i was about to open my mouth, Andy's phone rang and he immediately picked up.