Roadtrip Oneshots (BxB)

in my blood • randy

Tw: I'm not sure what this is, but it is a lil triggering. So be careful reading <3

-x-

Help me. It's like the walls are caving in.

Everything was spinning. I couldn't focus on anything. My sight was blurring, colours mixing together, making the world look like a childs drawing. Sounds merged together into a single buzzing noise. I pressed my palms against my ears in a desperate attempt to block it out. I collapsed against the wall. I was screaming. Why was the room getting smaller?

Sometimes I feel like giving up. But I just can't. It isn't in my blood

I wanted to die. Death seemed like a better scenario then what was happening to me now. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to let go. But I couldn't. My head wouldn't let me.

My hands went from my ears to my hair as i began tugging at it. I needed a distraction from the pain I felt in my lungs

I felt hands on my knees. A shadowy figure stood infront of me. I didn't know who it was. I couldn't see any facial features. I screamed, wanting nothing more than to melt into the walls, away from the figure.

Help me. It's like the walls are caving in.

"Calm down. It's ok. You're ok. Just calm down"

I let out a strangled cry as I hurdled the nearest item towards him. He was lying. It wasn't ok. It was the opposite of ok. I didn't care what I hit, who I hurt or what I broke. I was past the point of caring. I knew I was out of control. The room was shrinking again. My breathing sped up. I was trapped.

Sometimes I feel like giving up. No medicine is strong enough.

"Did you take your medication. Do I need to go and get it?"

"NO!" I screeched, throwing another object in his direction. He doged it, and took a step backwards.

I was crying. My cheeks were getting hot. I furiously wiped them away, not wanting to show the figure how weak I am. How pathetic I've become.

Someone help me. I'm crawling in my skin.

"You need help. I want to help you" He advanced towards me, his arms outstreched. I screamed again, causing him to stumble backwards. I didn't need help. I'd survived this long without help, I can do it again.

My skin felt horrible. I started nipping and scratching at it. Once you start doing it, you feel like you can't stop. I felt two strong hands grip my wrists, preventing me from doing it. I screamed again, thrashing about. But he didn't let go.

Why didn't he leave? Why was he still trying to help me? I was a freak, I had thrown stuff at him. Why was he still here.

Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can't.

"I can't do this anymore"

"Yes you can. I'm here. I can help you"

"You don't understand. You can't fix me"

"Maybe not. But I can try"

I was in his arms. I was exhausted. It was hard to believe that only 5 minutes ago, I was out of control. Now here I was, in his arms, the guy I was practically attacking. Still. I couldn't understand.

"Why are you still here"

"Because I care."

"No you don't. Stop lying"

"When have I ever lied to you?"

I hestitated, trying to rack my brains. I couldn't remember a time he had lied to me. I sighed in defeat. I was forced to accept that he was right.

"Andy...?"

"Yeah?"

"I care about you too"

It isnt in my blood

-x-

based off in my blood by shawn mendes