Abandoned - a Joanne fanfic.

Chapter 11

Dianne❤️: I ran back upstairs not letting go of aj. I climbed onto his bed and sat him on my lap keeping my arms wrapped tightly around him.
AJ🐙:"Di, why was mum shouting at you. Have you been naughty"
Dianne❤️:"no, I think your old enough now, sit on the end of your bed, and di will tell you some more about your life"
AJ🐙:"um okay"
Dianne❤️:"okay so when I was little like you I lived in this house with mummy and a man called mark. Mark is our daddy. Now when I was little mummy would often drink these bad drinks that made her mean. So daddy would hug me and comfort me like I do to you. Then when I was 10, mummy found out you were in her belly. She loved you so much she decided to stop drinking these bad drinks. This was very good and for 9 months. Mummy was a very good person. However when you monkey came out of mummy's Tummy. She was struggling a little bit so she started drinking these bad drinks again. So me and daddy helped raise you, that means we taught you all the things you know now. But when you were 1 daddy didn't want to be around mummy anymore because she was very mean to him so daddy trusted me to look after you. When daddy left mummy became mean to me sometimes but she doesn't mean it. These bad drinks make her like that. So when daddy left I made sure that you always had someone to hug you and comfort you. So you wouldn't feel left out and you feel loved. Because I love you monkey.
AJ🐙:"so why does mummy keep drinking the bad drinks if it makes her mean"
Dianne❤️:"you know when you have a poorly tummy and Di gives you that medicine to make you feel better"
AJ🐙:"yeah"
Dianne❤️:"well mummy's brain sometimes is very painful so she uses these bad drinks to take away the pain"
AJ🐙:"will mummy ever get better"
Dianne❤️:"I don't know monkey, I hope so. But if your ever scared or upset you come find me okay. And if your at school go find a teacher and they'll talk to me okay"
Aj🐙:"okay, I love you di"
Dianne❤️:"I love you so much" I said pulling him close to me. I never wanted to let go of this little boy he meant everything to me. I decided to put aj to bed as it was getting late and went into my bedroom. I was really Lucky in that my bedroom was really big and I could dance in there. I was flicking through songs on Spotify to find something to dance to. This song came on. I broke down. I related to it so much and i couldn't deal with it. I immediately got up and began dancing it was the only thing that I could get my feelings out through. The song was hey little girl
[Verse 1]
I'm all choked up
I cannot talk
I gotta f*cked up brain
f*cked up thoughts
I thought I was ok
But then I guess not
Hope you know that this is your fault
I want you to feel bad when you go to sleep
I hope you're sad when you remember me
And feel bad for all you did to me
I hope you lie there in your misery

[Chorus]
Hey little girl
You'll never believe
There's a ghost inside of you
But it's hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You'll never imagine
When you get a little older
You'll get abandoned
Hey little girl
You know smoking kills
You don't really care
'Cause you love how it feels
Hey little girl
You're falling apart
You don't really care
'Cause they broke your heart

[Verse 2]
Fighting for all that I've lost
It's my time to show who's boss
I've waited in the dark too long
I've got this now so just stay strong
Oh you won't believe until I'm up on stage
You make me bleed when you don't get your way
I hope you're scared when you remember me
I hope you lie there in your misery

[Chorus]
Hey little girl
You'll never believe
There's a ghost inside of you
But it's hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You'll never imagine
You get a little older
You'll get abandoned
Hey little girl
You know smoking kills
You don't really care
'Cause you love how it feels
Hey little girl
You're falling apart
You don't really care
'Cause they broke your heart

[Bridge]
Been in and out of covery
Remember when I could hardly breathe
Sat in front of mirrors
Thinking to myself
Can't get any clearer
What I'm doing to myself
I've been in and out of covery
I remember when I could hardly breathe
I sat in front of mirrors
Thinking to myself
Can't get any clearer
What I'm doing to myself

[Chorus]
Hey little girl
You'll never believe
There's a ghost inside of you
But it's hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You'll never imagine
You get a little older
You'll get abandoned
Hey little girl
You know smoking kills
You don't really care
'Cause you love how it feels
Hey little girl
You're falling apart
You don't really care
'Cause they broke your heart

[Outro]
Don't really care cause they broke your heart

Hey little girl
You'll never believe
There's a ghost inside of you
But it's hidden too deep
Hey little girl
You'll never imagine
You get a little older
You'll get abandoned.

I stopped dancing and fell to the floor and broke down. I couldn't stop myself until everything slowly became dark.

{A/N: I hope your enjoying this! I never really know what to write in this so hey I guess let's chat in the comments!}