In Time

FLOATING FEATHERS

I think we've all seen floating feathers. 

When a bird looses one of it's feathers to the storm of life and flight and that lonesome feather, rather than falling to it's demise, floats through the air. It becomes so light. As it gets separated from the cage of a body it is attached to, it becomes considerably light, in a way, so free, and thus it lets it self get carried along with the wind. And so those light, free feathers that ride on the wind, finally discharged from their heavy cages, are the floating feathers. 

So free, light and absolutely tranquil in their existence.

Now this may be a bit of an exaggeration, but how i'm feeling now is quite close to floating feathers.

Currently lying on my bed, since the two hours reserved for tutoring haven't actually had any customers, I can't help but think back to the conversation I had with Ezra.

That last answer of mine, has quite truthfully lifted a small burden off of my hunched shoulders. I might have another 7 or 8 years of baggage, but today was the first time, in a log long while, maybe in a lifetime, that i felt the load lessen slightly. And due that minuscule, yet very much so decrease, I apparently am overjoyed. I feel like that feather, because i do feel considerably lighter, well at the very least my bad mood has completely evaporated.

I really spoke from my heart, somebody out there actually knows something, a reason, a why, a what, about me. And I being a very simple person am over cloud nine. Yes i feel very light and very hopeful of someday being completely freed from my imprisonment within my own vessel. 

Again, I'm slightly, ok, maybe quite a bit, exaggerating.

However i feel so much better than i did this very early morning. Oh, may the gods of bikini bottom bless you Ezra.

Based on my current over the top state, i feel like it wouldn't be bad to ketchup (I crack myself up) on sleep. Nightmares after all are soul eaters, i feel like they take up your life force with their cruel manifestation. Moreover after being grumpy all day, having a bad panic attack, triggering unwanted memories and having a heart to heart moment (not really, no)i feel like i deserve a moment of peace. 

And so the curtains on my eyes fall, as the familiar theme of falling rain resounds through my music system, bringing with it the sense of comfort, the comfort of being able to cry within the rain without being seen.

The comfort of falling asleep, in hopes of going unnoticed by the demonic beings within.

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It is the loud ringtone of my phone which disturbs me from my very rare, and much needed, dreamless sleep.

The screen shows momma dearest has decided to hit me up, well my mother, you aren't being very dear right now, with all the waking me up stunt.

Still begrudgingly I answer the phone, when I really wanna just go back to sleep.

''Hey munchkin, how's your day been?'' Well subtlety sure is dead. Way to be obvious momma.

'' Surprisingly it was very eventful, and yes momma, I am A-OK.''

''You are?'' Well she certainly isn't hiding her surprise.

'' Yes, I am. Things happened, met a few people, got a little injured, talked to a guy. All in all, The day went great. As promised i healed my heart and whatnot.'' Well it would be safe to say, my heart is back to doing weird dance routines within my chest, which might not be a good thing. lets's just say, I get weird. Very weird.

'' You talked to a guy?!''

'' Yes mother, ignore the part where i got injured, let's gossip on boys shall we.'' I say in a cheerful voice, laced heavily in sarcasm.

'' Oh my, sorry munchkin, are you okay.'' She cares people!

'' Well I'm certainly not dead, am I?'' It is only when I've uttered it, do I realize. Bad choice of words. It's like make bad decisions day or something. First with the scalpel business, then blindly running off and missing half of my classes, then answering Ezra, okay well that was a good decision in the whole run. And finally this. Somebody slap me.

her voice takes on a stern edge. ''Don't even  joke about that sort of thing Valencia, ever.''

''Im sorry okay.'' I run a hand through my messed up hair. '' But I'm really fine, I'll talk to you when you get back, I've gotta get to my job. And tell Harrington, no funny business of any sort, you also maintain distance.'' I say in a mock stern tone.

'' Yes, Yes. You're watching. I know. Now bye. Take care munchkin.'' With that she ends the call.

Done with the call, I decide to change out of my over-sized hoodie and jeans, instead i quickly take a small shower and change into grey leggings and a black over-sized hoodie, tying my hair into another messy bun since the previous was destroyed by by nap.

And yes for everyone's information, my wardrobe is 80 percent hoodies and the rest are a size too large, shirts and sweaters. I'm one of those who dress for comfort, and my current wardrobe is filled with comfort clothes, don't judge.

On a random note though, does anyone else feel really icky after naps, like i have to take a bath, i have to change clothes. Or, maybe the constant sweat from my nightmares has made me almost too paranoid. Well whatever. 

With the thought to not dwell on unpleasant things, and to keep indulging in this temporary bliss i'm feeling. I pick up my belongings and head on to the cafe.

I walk to the cafe, simply because it's not too far and the weathers is so pleasant. The wind softly caressing my skin, and the sun peeking out from behind the clouds, almost shy to be seen. Even the flora move in rhythm to the nature. 

The world seems a little brighter today. To some my attitude might seem over exaggerated and dramatic, but really to be able to let go of that little amount, really has made me lighter, I didn't realize just how close I was to tipping over, had i not let out that simple fact of mine. I would have crumbled sooner rather than later. To find yourself in the safe zone, where relapsing isn't within sight, is a new scenery to me. And yes often the smallest of confession, so meaningless in the grand scheme of all, also end up having drastic changes on ones self. Though my high is most definitely temporary.

It is in the middle of these though that I arrive at my destination.

The cafe surely is famous, however it is actually quite the homey little place. I suppose that is it's appeal. It is a corner shop, where when I enter, a bell rings as the door opens, alerting the staff of the arrival of customers. In my case, a new staff.

I smile cheerfully at Heather, who's the owner of her cafe ''Heather's home''. She's a 40 year old lady that enjoys feeding her first time customers free muffins. She offered me too when i came for an interview, and i took two muffins. I cannot refuse anything sweet, moreover it was free. I had to take two.

Well, i went off track there, but greeting Heather, I made my way to the back, got out an apron and was out on the counter. The job which I have, is absolutely my favourite. It is actually the specialty of this cafe. In a way i suppose. Anyways, my job  is to put icing on cupcakes and muffins. Its not anything new, but what is new is that the customers come in to choose their favourite cupcake or muffin or a cake, and the according to their preference of flavour, the type of tip i use, and the designs they want, i put icing on their chosen delight. A customer satisfactory service. And as i'm told the customers love it. The previous worker apparently left the job to care for her dying grandmother, so lucky me.

I've obviously only heard all of this, today will be my first time experiencing it. This is an addition to my already jittery state, because I absolutely love baking. Well my cooking is amazing in general, but i bake like a pro. Well that's what i've been told, anyways.

Thus putting on my blue and pink striped apron and wearing my cupcake hairpin i move to the counter.

The moment i step to my position my first customer arrives. 

It is a little girl, with blonde pigtails and chubby cheeks, alongside her very beautiful, also blonde, mother. The mother make her way to the ordering counter where Melissa, the coffee in charge, wearing her brown apron and coffee hairpin, takes her order. 

Soon enough the two move towards me and as soon as the little bundle of joy sees, the cupcakes she starts jumping in excitement. I can't help but notice the way the mother adoringly looks at her. The gentle gaze has me thinking about my own mother who looks at me with the same affection. I smile ever so gently.

''So sunshine, what would you like?'' I ask, coming around and squatting by her side. My cheeks most like in a full blown smile. I love kids.

''lily doesn't know. she can't decide.'' the way she refers to herself in third person, with that child like voice, i feel like melting before her. SO CUTE!!.

'' Well then, what's your favourite color?'' I ask hoping i can whip up something to her liking.

'' Red! lily likes Red. The Roses red.'' She says all excited about telling someone her favourite color. Regardless of that, in terms of res, the red velvet would be the choice to go to.

Turning away from her, I slide the glass door and bring out a red velvet cupcake.

Then i hold lily's hand and take her with me behind the counter, where she watches, as I line a piping bag with half red icing and the other half vanilla. Then i pipe the icing in swirls over the cupcake, the cream coming out in three shades,  deep red, a pink and a white. the three colours swirl together to form a fine looking cupcake. I also place a red berry on top to complete the look.

When i hand over the sweet to lily she looks absolutely mesmerized my it, and bounds over to her mommy to gush about it.

The mother collects her beverage and as she starts to pay I call out to her.

'' The cupcake's on the house'' I say ''we offer free ones to all new customers, And well anything for a little sunshine.'' I add. directing the last part to lily, along with a wink. In response she only giggles and hold her mothers hand tightly, soon following her out the door.

I stare after the door, a goofy smile on my face when a voice interrupts.

''We seem to be meeting a lot today.''

I turn, only to find my self staring at a pair of mismatched eyes.

We really did seem to be meeting a lot for a single day.

'' Well hello there Ezra.''

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Misty,
Uhmm so no excuses. update is late because I'm lazy.
I have issues with typing, it's not my favourite for of writing.

Anyways, an update is here. Plz do understand that Valencia is not bipolar, nor is her acting this way too exaggerated (ok maybe a little) but i hope the readers can see this from her point of view. As mentioned before her mood changes quite easily however that is simply because she's too simple minded and well, gets distracted pretty easily, moreover she doesn't dwell on things much. It is her character, kindly see it from that perspective.

I'll try to update soon but i usually do so within 2 weeks. This time i'll hurry a bit more.
Thank you to whoever reads this. 

I wuv you XOXO.