In Time

HER, OUR......

I pick up the pone at put it to my ear casually leaning against the wall.

Then it happens.

''Cleo.'' With that one word, my world crashes.

I remain as silent as the dead.

As still as the dead.

I pretend i am dead.

''Cleo it's me, I missed you so much, i missed my lovely daughter so much. I wanted to see you and talk to you but they wouldn't let me, they don't understand. I love you so much and they're keeping me away from you. You understand papa right, you love me too.''

My breathing slows down.

''Cleo can you hear me? Why are't you saying anything? Are you being a bad girl? That's not good. Cleo? Cleo? CLEO? ANSWER ME!!''

My slow breathing comes in stutters.

''Hey what are you doing.....Where did you get the phone....... Guards GUARDS!!'' 

''CLEO!''

I'm not sure but there's a commotion on the other side before the line goes dead.

And then i'm falling.

I feel myself crash down the wall and pull my knees up.

Forget counting heartbeats, i think i might really die this time.

My breath escapes me. And it doesn't enter back.

I can't breathe.

I pull my chest up to my knees and I can feel myself rocking back and forth back and forth back and forth.

There's shivering, my hands are shivering, my legs are too, why am i shivering.  Somebody stop the shaking, why am I shaking?!

The tears slip out next. It's a stream, a water fall. The water just falls and falls and falls.

My chest feels tight. There's no air and it doesn't help but i still slam my fist on it, I squeeze my shirt tight. It's not helping.

I clutch my throat  in a desperate attempt to breath. It's not helping.

Nothing's helping.

I feel my vision fading and it scares me. The darkness scares me. I don't want to go back to that darkness. Save me.

Please....somebody.....

''Valencia! VALENCIA!!''

I can hear my mom somewhere in the back behind all the noise in my head.

There's so much noise, so many screams, so much pain.

''Mommy.....'' A broken voice somewhere whispers.

I feel two hands touching my face holding me back from fading, but it's so painful, there is no air.

I'm gonna pass out, I'm gonna die, this time surely I will.

I'm going to die.

I'm going to die.

''Val, VAL! Look at me darling, you're okay, breathe for me okay come one, one two three, come on try to pull in deep breathes, you're okay. In and Out okay. Come on....work with me Valencia. Breathe.''

How do i breathe....

the air's not coming, it doesn't want to come. What do i do?!

''VALENCIA!''

I clutch my throat again, trying, trying so hard but the blackness seeps in. It seeps in from the corner of my eyes until it has me whole and I'm falling limp in strong arms. The sound of my name getting lost somewhere.