In Time

DAILY NORMAL

I open my eyes sometime in the early hours of the morning. Its a soft dark blue outside. I slept through in oblivion all night.

I get out of bed, my window calling me and snag my soft, big, furry blanket on the way to the sofa underneath the now open window. Bundling up into my blanket I stare outside.

It is so quite.

There's hardly any noise aside from the occasional chirping of the bird and the cool wind blows over me. The numb quite and emptiness of the outside match the me within me.

This is worse than a bad day, beyond being a worst one. I can feel nothing except the quiet numb as it overtakes me.

He called me.

In the deafening quiet my ears still resonate. "Cleo, Cleo, Cleo, Cleo, Cleo, Cleo...............".

I want to rip my ears out, slam my head in the window pane, do something, anything, to stop the sound of his voice. But I can't, so I let it ring out and hollow my being.

-------------------------------x

I sit there till the blue fades to orange and yellows and the sun comes up, until a knock interupts the echoing noise.

"Valencia?"

Mom. She looks sad, I made her sad
He made her sad through me.

She quietly makes her way over to me and hugs my wrapped up body that I realize now, is shaking.

"Come eat something, Sebastian and Levi are downstairs and we need to talk sweetheart."

I turn in her arms quietly and hug her, I don't feel dead today, I just feel hollow from his words, such feeble and painfully words and claims.

I get up and follow my mother, keeping my blanket on my shoulder.

The food is set out around the living room with Sebastian and Levi sitting in the sofas.

Momma moves to sit with Levi and I not wanting to sit alone on any seat sit beside Sebastian, huddling in my blanket again.

For some reason I feel so cold.

We quietly eat, I eat as much as I can which is very little admittedly.

After that I know comes the questions and for the first time I want to answer them because I don't want him back.

I don't want to feel this hollow again by simply hearing his voice .

"Valencia.....what happened yesterday?'' Mom question and simply remembering makes me shudder.

I huddle further into my blanket for warmth and protection.

Seeing my shaking form, Sebastian cautiously puts his arm around me and though I haven't known the man for more than two days, he feels like good things and warm moments.

I let him support me from the side.

"He called momma, he called me, he called my name, he said he missed me, he said he loved me, he said he wanted to s-see me, he wanted to talk to me, he spoke to me, he-he said I was a bad girl, I should answer, I should have answered, but I didn't, he was angry, he was mad he said he missed me, he said he loved me, i-i didn't say anything back, I couldn't, i-i, he called me! And there were gaurds in the background and and fighting and noise there was so much noise. There was no air and I'm sorry I didn't answer back, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry......"

I couldn't stop talking and shivering and crying and I was a blubbering mess.

All of a sudden I was slammed into a chest and immediately my rambling voice went quite.