And life is hard, unfair, painful and a down right bitch.
We can't really escape from that.
I, can't escape from that.
I don't think it get's better, ever.
But Mom always says, ''When the time is right all your hardships will lead you up to your rew...
Contrary to what Ezra may think, i haven't forgotten about the bitch I slapped, calling him a freaky eyed 'murderer'. I remember it very clearly and I would be lying if I said I didn't ponder over it's meaning, because I did. I thought about it during biology and history and up until arts.
And then I stopped.
Because firstly it wasn't my business as to what she meant, we were all close but not enough to dig deep into each other's pasts. Secondly i wasn't gonna believe her either ways cause really why would I. And thirdly, thinking would only give me stress, which I already had enough of, and No thank you i'd rather not increase my own stress as well as another person's by asking them. I was well versed in the notion of personal space and privacy. I didn't want people in my shit, so I wasn't gonna get into theirs. He'd tell me if he ever wants to.
With these conclusive thoughts, that chapter was closed.
It was Art and I was gonna enjoy some painting.
The five of us had submitted our decision for the mural last Friday, and the teacher had agreed since there were no other requests, so our project was set. We had plenty of time to work on it when we got serious, so we had decided to work on some minor classwork in the meanwhile. We weren't yet inspired on what to draw.
''What are you- Wow!!'' Felix's amazed voice brings me out of my lost thought. He's looking at what I've painted and when I turn to look at it, heck, I'm surprised by what I painted.
I did paint a black background and half a human silhouette in the last class, but i didn't know what more to do from there on so i had left it at that. I remember coming to class today and start working on the human male body I had made a silhouette too. In doing so I had escaped to my mind and somehow when i really focused on what I was doing was when Felix jostled me out of my bubble. And the painting turned out fairly well.
The male body was drawn from the waist up to the neck, the coloring slightly more pale and right where his head would have started, a kaleidoscope of butterflies instead came out spreading into a V. There was a bright white bulb hanging in the center of all the butterflies, illuminating the process of a human body slowly breaking into millions of butterflies.
I realize why I had painted butterflies. They had been one of my main focus of doodling recently. I was drawing small butterflies left and right and i suppose my mind immediately led my hands to paint them.
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''OH MY GOD!!!'' A high pitched squeal deafens my ear as Fel lunges at me , tackling me into a hug. That girl loves hugs. ''This is so pretty Valley, how did you paint this, I love it. wow, wow, wow.'' She continues to jump up and down while Felix shakes his head in resignation. Yeah, she was a lost cause.
Morgan and Ezra crowd around us too, but remain awestruck and silent. Well, then. I suppose it is more than 'fairly well'.
''I agree with Felicity, this really is exceptional Valencia.'' Miss Lynn comes up behind me. Her compliment makes me embarrassed and i quickly duck my head down. Yeah I'm not good at receiving pretty words, for various unpleasant reasons.
''Why did you choose butterflies?'' She further asks and it takes my body a minute to decide if i should explain myself or lie.
''I'm not really sure miss.'' I make my decision.
I'm not too keen on telling her why i drew butterflies. What do I say to her. 'I'm having an emotional crisis with a previously dysfunctional family which has left me scarred for life and i'm hoping to be brave and grow out of my pain.'
