Torn In Two | Thorin Oakenshield |

8. I'm Sorry

"If you come here again without Oakenshield then don't bother returning!"

Master's harsh words continue to ring through my ears as I force myself to renter Gollum's cave. Out of terror, I of course obeyed his order, but there's no longer that same pride I once felt upon being one of his "best" warriors. Now that I've experienced his wrath, all I feel towards him now is fear... and I completely hate it.

"Go back in there Lothdiel." I mimic in a high pitched tone once I'm far enough into the passage and climb over one of the rocks. "Don't return until you have him Lothdiel."

I roll my eyes in anger and stomp a foot down into a puddle, not caring about the dirty splash.

Shouldn't they be here by now? I honestly didn't expect for Azog to arrive so soon, but maybe I can still warn them of what lies ahead or at least lead them to a different path. Only problem is that this is the only exit down here, so I'll have to find some way back up.

Though, if Azog fails to see them then that's risking my life along with Luna's. I frown at this sudden change of heart and jump over another low obstacle. A heavy groan rumbles through my throat as I nearly trip over a crack but my footing swiftly recovers.

"A month?" I question in disbelief and hope that speaking out loud will help aid the confusion. "How did these men manage to affect my mind in a month?" Thinking back on it, all I can really recall is my isolated behavior, but the longer my mind lingers on the topic, the more I start to realize how blind I've been.

I'm definitely amazed by the level of kindness they've all shared. Especially to someone that isn't of their race.

For instance, I do remember waking up with Thorin's cloak draped over my body a few times on cold nights, even though I was way up in a tree. At first I found it to be annoying but that was only one out of many encounters we've had.

Just like when Bombur, surprisingly, and Bofur would always make sure to offer me some stew before it was all gone. Which I'm sure they assumed I wouldn't notice but since I rarely ate their cooking, it was pretty obvious what was going on.

Bifur did his best to help, brought me a few blades of grass once but it was still a thoughtful gesture.

And on really stressful hiking days, Oin would also check on everyone for wounds and lent me some bandages, seeing that I was voted most likely to get scrapes.

Then after about two weeks, I honestly recall that every time we'd make camp, Gloin wouldn't start a fire until I was settled somewhere far enough. Before I just assumed he was losing his touch but I'm guessing that wasn't the case.

Heck, even Dwalin offered to teach me some new fighting techniques a few days after the troll scene and didn't mind sharing his war stories. Balin of course joined in since he was part of the tales and his wisdom is fascinating.

I unknowingly chuckle at all the recollections and stop myself before approaching Gollum's territory.

Fili and Kili were also nice enough to show me some new moves, mainly when it comes to using a bow or dual swords. Though, they mainly spent time pranking everyone but saved me the stress of their games.

Thankfully, Dori has become more tolerable and keeps his complaints to himself now, well at least when I'm around. As for Nori, he taught me some pickpocketing techniques and Ori was eager to teach me some Khuzdul.

And even though my encounters with Gandalf were brief, I still felt his protective gaze on me here and there. Azog lied when he said Wizards were selfish and angry all the time. He really was just describing himself. Gandalf has been nothing but generous and gentle when it comes to me.