Torn In Two | Thorin Oakenshield |

18. Not Enough Time To Think

A/N: Sorry for late update I've been busy! This story is almost over hope you've been enjoying it!

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Love. A deadly emotion that I didn't was possible to find in my life. So many years of blood shed and I never gave it a second thought until now. Why must you torment me with such things Thorin Oakenshield?

Standing in the back quietly, I bite the skin underneath my nails as all the dwarves quickly move around. All of them carrying boulders of different masses due to Thorin's recent orders to barricade the gate.

He was fine last night before I slept but then this morning, Bilbo woke me up to inform me of the current situation. Chaos was stretching wildly within the kingdom as well as my mind. I haven't been able to think straight ever since that word left Thorin's lips.

Sure, he may have been delusional but that's a heavy load for someone like me. Now it's rendered me afraid to approach him. Not like he'd give me a chance anyway with the way he's been shuffling about. Back in his royal gear and I've begun to notice how he's sauntering around without regard for anyone else.

I sigh heavily, my shoulders dropping and I cease the bad habit, mouth now dry. It won't be long until Thranduil arrives too and that'll only stir up some more trouble.

Oh the way my life has turned upside down within a few weeks.

Bilbo drags his feet along next to me, sharing my worries and I lean against the stone pillar lazily. Eyes trained on all the working men before us as the makeshift gate simply grows higher. It'll take much effort to enter and exit Erebor, much to my dismay. 

Does Thorin realize he's basically trapping us in? What if a war were to start?

"Bilbo." I mutter after a few minutes of staring upon Thorin's stressed features and feel a longing to see him return to normal. "Is it just me or does something feel terribly wrong?"

Glancing down to my left, Bilbo forms his lips into a thin line and I fold my arms tightly, not sure what to due with what's present.

Bilbo whispers my name with uncertainty and I raise a brow in response, trying to keep a calm facade so that he'll be more at ease.

"How did you manage to pull yourself away from the darkness?"

His question causes my arms to go slack and I blink a few times in confusion, "What do you mean?" I ask while trying to decipher the point but failing.

Bilbo shifts his weight around and I notice his hands fidgeting slightly, "Forgive my words but Thorin reminds me a lot of how you used to be."

His words slowly sink in and I catch a glimpse of Thorin as he stomps by with a large stone in his arms

"Come again?"

Bilbo sighs in frustration and I can tell he's doing his best to pick the right sentence. Most likely afraid to offend me.

"Thorin isn't himself that much is clear. He's lost to the greed and you were lost to a false sense of loyalty." I grunt at the remembrance of my old duties but allow the hobbit to continue. "You found your way back to who you were, but how?"

A sudden holler from the king causes me to jump and I stare at Thorin's angered expression, unaware of what the new ruckus is about.

My gaze lingers for a bit but then I turn to Bilbo and claw through my brain for an answer. "I guess I just gave in to what my heart wanted most."

Another voice from the other side of the gate sounds and I sharply look back to see everyone standing up there, the fortress somehow completed during the conversation.