Oscar (bxb)

24.

Maxie didn't respond. He didn't even want to open the message.

He fell asleep soon after, drifting off into a tired, melancholy mess. He didn't bother putting the covers around him, just hugging himself on the bed and letting thought consume him till he fell unconscious.

He woke up his phone vibrating against his mattress. The bright screen was hard to let his eyes adjust to but once he rubbed his own he settled upon Oscar's name.

He sighed and brought the phone to his face. "Hello?" He answered wearily.

"Hello," came a confident and oddly suspicious sounding voice. "Everything alright?"

Maxie sat up in his bed. "Yeah, just not really having a fun night."

"How was dinner with everyone?"

He paused.

"It was fine."

"That doesn't sound convincing."

He rubbed his forehead. "Nothing happened."

"Same answer."

Maxie was irritated. He took another took breath. It wasn't Oscar's fault he was like this. He'd really done a number on himself. He was starting to feel like how he used to feel. He thought it was over.

Perhaps running away from your issues wasn't always the best way to deal with them. They always came to bite you in the ass if you didn't deal with them.

"Maxie, are you okay?"

"Did you tell Olivia we were hanging out?"

Maxie could hear the other think from the other side of the phone. "I mentioned it, I think. Once. Why? Did she say something?"

"Yeah, she thinks they're something going on. Or at least that's what I gathered from what they were saying about me."

"So? Who cares what they think?"

"Me," Maxie replied. "I live with them. And they're not wrong, are they? Something did happen."

Oscar began to say something but stopped himself. "I'm sorry," he settled on.

"No," he immediately began, his voice softening. "You shouldn't be sorry, I let it happen because I wanted it to. Its just its hard not to feel guilty about what they're saying and just ignore it when I know they're partly right."

"It was nothing," Oscar defended.

He wasn't clueless. He knew exactly why he felt a pang of hurt hearing that. It dug into him that it meant so little too Oscar but then again it shouldn't have meant more than it was to him.

He was the fool for liking this guy. It was his mess and only his problem.

"You don't sound okay tonight. Your voice is different. I don't know what it is."

Maxie's body tensed hearing that. Throughout all his time, whenever he was down, depressed or anxious, no one had ever actually noticed. No one noticed his fingers fidget or the shakiness in his voice or the lack of eye contact. Or if they had, they hadn't mentioned it, they avoided talking about it, bringing those issues to the surface.

It was a feeling of exposure that he felt. Even over the phone, Oscar had caught out on it. How could he have known?

"Its not a big deal, I'm just sort of feeling down tonight. But I'm fine. Like I said, nothing has happened." He lay back down on his bed, resting his back and head against the dull softness of his bed,

"Do you want me to come over?"

"And risk raising suspicion?"

"Stop thinking about what others think. You're my friend and I want to be there if you need me. I'd do this for all the people I care about."