Haunting; Noren NCT

♱•Twenty-Three•♱

Renjun forces himself to take small bites of the omelet his mother had made him, trying his very best to stomach the food. He was sure his appetite would return eventually, but right now, with all these weird feelings, the last thing he wanted to do was eat.

Thankfully, he manages to eat enough to satisfy his mother and she takes his plate, giving him a small kiss to the forehead before telling him he should get some sleep. Renjun doesn't argue as he can feel his body beginning to tire with each step he took towards his bedroom.

He opens the door and instantly freezes when seeing a familiar raven haired boy, sat on the edge of his bed, his eyes moving to look over towards Renjun and a very faint smile forming on his lips. The sight sends Renjun's heart into a frenzy and suddenly he can feel his tears coming once again but he tries his best to keep them at bay.

He closes the door, hesitantly moving to take a seat beside the ghost, not daring to look him in the eye or say anything. He was hoping Jeno would speak first but it seemed the ghost may be having similar thoughts as he too remains silent.

Eventually, Renjun musters up enough courage to say a small "I'm sorry" it was quiet but loud enough to be heard. His voice doesn't crack but it was obvious he was on the verge of tears as his voice seems to waver ever so slightly. "I'm so sorry" this time he doesn't hide the sadness in his words. He wanted Jeno to know how upset he was over all this, he needed Jeno to know how sorry he really was.

The ghost doesn't answer for a moment, he doesn't lift his gaze to look at the brunette either, keeping it firmly on his hands that lay open in his lap, palms facing upwards. He sighs, closing his hands into tight fists and Renjun notices the way he squeezes his eyes closed "I've spent over one hundred years alone, had no one to talk to, no one to laugh with, no one to care about, no one to love" he starts, and for a moment Renjun thinks this would just be a continuation of their previous argument. "And then you come along, and I spend a month with you, being your friend and you keep me company and all of a sudden I don't feel lonely any more" at this point his voice also wobbles a little, an obvious sign he was holding back his own tears. "I spend twelve days without you and I've never felt so lonely in my entire life...or my entire after life" this makes Renjun smile a little.

Renjun looks up at the ghost, admiring his side profile and the way his black hair hung over his eyes "I didn't mean those things I said to you,Jeno" he says, scooting a little closer to him, gently resting his head against his shoulder, strangely loving the coolness of the touch "I was just angry with myself and took it out on you"

Jeno only nods, the silence once again settling over the room. But this time it was comfortable, no tension left. Renjun feels the way Jeno shuffles a little, tentatively wrapping his arm around Renjun, bringing him closer.
"That night, the one with the storm..." Jeno starts and Renjun feels his heart drop as he thought about the kiss. "It really wasn't supposed to happen, but that's not because I didn't want it to happen"

The brunette looks up at Jeno, not sure if he even wanted to listen anymore in fear of further humiliation. "W-What do you mean by that?"

Jeno sighs, leaning closer, his eyes on Renjun's lips but he only places a gentle kiss to his temple. "Ghosts have rules, things work in a certain way when you're dead" he says and Renjun didn't know why he was surprised. Humans have rules too...stop trying to fuck a ghost.

Renjun slowly pushes himself away from Jeno but still staying close. "Rules? Like what?"

Jeno shrugs, laying back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling "they're not exactly rules" at this point Renjun was beyond confused. "Ever since I died all I ever wanted was to go to heaven, be with my parents, but I was never allowed since I killed myself because I felt lonely and there was no one I loved enough to stay around for" he starts and Renjun moves to lay beside him "if I somehow-" he stops, his eyes looking over at Renjun who only nods for him to continue "-if I somehow love someone, they'll send me to heaven. It's kinda like an unfinished business situation"

Renjun bites his lips, not daring to look at Jeno once again, keeping his gaze on the ceiling. "Love? But there's no one you love right? And even if you did, isn't going to heaven a good thing?"

"If I go to heaven I won't be able to see you anymore" he says and Renjun forces himself to drag his eyes away from the ceiling, looking at Jeno who only stared right back at him "even tho you're annoying I like spending time with you" Renjun had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling "I don't think I wanna go to heaven anymore".

This time no amount of cheek biting was enough to stop the smile that made its way into Renjun's lips "then don't fall in love"

"Like it's that easy?" Jeno scoffs.

"It is, they're your feelings right? You have control over them" Renjun insists. He knew it was wrong, he knew feelings couldn't be controlled but in that moment he didn't care. The effort he was putting in to keeping himself from leaning over and  kissing Jeno like they had the night of the storm seemed to be distorting his words. "Who said it had to be love?"

This makes Jeno smirk a little, and just like that it's as if their argument had never happened.

The ghost rolls over, climbing on top on Renjun, holding himself up by his arms, their faces dangerously close. "Since when did you become so damn desperate?"