𝐄𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 ♦ 𝐑𝐃𝐑

🇨​🇭​🇦​🇵​🇹​🇪​🇷​ 31

My Dearest and beautiful Selina,

     This letter is going to come at the most inconvenient time. For I know we have only just gotten ourselves back on track since being away for so damn long from our children and our family as a whole.
Things... Well, they're changing now. I'm not quite sure how to word it either. How do you tell the one person that you love and adore the most goodbye? There's really no good way to do it. There never has been and there never will be. When I met you, Selina. I never thought that you were going to play such an amazing roll in my life. How your eyes can take me back to the beauty of Cumberland forest, or how your smile can melt my heart anytime I get the pleasure of seeing it. How watching you be a mother to our children brings me such pride knowing that I helped you create them. The past times when you've grown all of them within you and we'd sit for hours just feeling them move, talk on baby names, what we should do for their little bedrooms, and how you would tell me how happy you were that this is all with me. Your passion for photography and your need to be a good wife and mother. How could I ever find a time when I didn't picture my life now, without you?
I know though, that this has haunted me for years and years, the idea of the fact that I ruined your life and what you could've had. You are and were such a pure individual, and I tainted you with who I am as a person. If I could take it all back, I would've. But I can't now. It's too late.
Selina... Sel... Sel... My amazing wife... I'm sorry. Now, I have to say goodbye to you and the kids. It's nothing you've done and nothing you can stop. I made this choice on my own. With the knowledge had YOU known, you would've tried to stop me. I love you with every ounce of my being and I hope one day you and I will meet again. For now, I give you my wedding ring... I hope you can find you a man who's better for you then I know I'll ever be. God I love you and—- I'll miss you.
I'll be seeing you... Selina Valerie Hinton. My one true love and the woman who will forever hold my heart. Please take care of the kids, Arthur will be a strong man, Andrew will too. Sadie will be just like you and that other baby, whatever they will be. I sure hope that they come safe and smooth and you give them every ounce of love as I know you have in your heart. Don't despise them, for they'll only look to you for care the next few years. I hope that none of them ever wanna be like their daddy. Please see to it that it doesn't happen.

All my love,
Asher

I have to admit, I cried like a little baby  as I wrote this letter to my wife for her to find come morning. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, for I knew I was going to shatter her heart and the hearts of my children as well. I didn't put it in an envelope, instead, I just folded it in half.

I arrive back to Rose's little ranch as I put my horse right in the middle of the walk way. Carefully creeping inside so I didn't wake Antonio or Ryan on the couch, or any of the kids and especially Selina or her mother. I take a big breath as I'm walking up the stairs and gently opening the door to the room Selina and I shared. My side was undone for whenever I did come to bed with her, but I knew I most definitely would not be staying tonight. I place the letter down in the open spot and my wedding ring on top before I look at the sleeping girl and the moonlight hitting her soft features. Selina didn't age as worse off as most woman, she still looked just as she did when I met her all those years ago. Beautiful as ever. The tears were coming again before I lean down and kiss her cheek, brush some of her loose strands of hair that had come out of her bun behind her ear. She smiles a bit in her sleep and it breaks my heart even more, for that was a favorite thing of hers that I would do. I blink away tears as much as possible, knowing that this would be the final time I ever did see Selina in person. I look up at the tears fall before I head out of the room, closing the door softly and walking down the steps.
"Daddy?" I hear a soft child's voice speak and I turn to see, Sadie. Oh no... Not now. She had her little teddy bear in her arms.
"Sadie... What are you doing up?"
"I'm thirsty daddy. I wanted some water. Can I have some water please?" I nod my head before carefully heading into the kitchen and get the girl a small glass of water. "Here you are, sweetheart."
I mutter, this was hurting more than I thought it would. "Thank you. Are you crying, daddy? Why are you crying?"
"I ain't crying, angel. I ain't. Just... Got something in my eyes, okay? Go back to sleep, baby."
She nods her head but comes in and gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek before she heads back into the room. Turning back to look at me with her soft little smile. "I love you, daddy." She states and then goes fully into the bedroom she was sharing with her brothers. Now the tears were flowing out so quick, I could barely stand it. "I love you too... Sadie." I mumble before I stand from my crouched position. I remove my hat from my head and place it upon the counter with a handwritten note with Arthur's name on it. This hat would always be for him no matter what.

I take one last glimpse around the house before I look down for the moment, collecting myself and heading back outside. Onto my horse and back to Challenger Ranch where I would ultimately meet my fate.