Spookyness

Kids Saying Creepy Things:

More Creepy Things Children Have Said:

1.        My daughter would say Spanish curse words in her sleep in a Tony-from-The-Shining voice when she was 5. She didn't know how to speak Spanish when she was awake.

2.        I wake up to find my three year old standing by the bed staring at me inches from me with a huge grin on his face. He just stares and grins. . .

"What are you doing?" I finally say. 

"Nothing," Still grinning. At this point I realize he's got his hands behind his back. 

"Are you holding something?"

"No." I look anyways. He's hiding our largest carving knife behind his back.

3.        We got my little sister a puppy over Christmas break. We waited until she was asleep, then went to pick up the puppy. So, the next day she woke up, and when she saw the dog, indead of going all googly-eyed and happy she said: "My baby! It's not time for you yet!" And tried to pick up the dog and shove it in her mouth.

4.        "Can you cut someone's tongue off without killing them?"

5.        My brother grew up being terrified of water. I'm four years older than him and during the nightly battle for bathrime when he was three or four I asked him why he was so scared of the water (Being a water baby as my mom put it I just didn't understand) he looked at me and I remember this word for word. "I was in a bug unsinkable ship, we hit the biggest iceberg and then it was really busy and then I got really cold and wet. I went to a warm bright place and waited until my next family came." My mom heard it all and decided bath time was over. Creepy thing is my brother was born April 15th 1992 - the Titanic sunk April 15th 1912.

6.        He was six going on seven adn we had this thing where I would hold him down and pretend to eat his face insert nom nom nom sounds and he would always respond with "Stop it!" and laughter. Well one day everything is going as usual and when I get up he says, "I'll never eat your face, papi. I'll cut it off and wear it as a mask."

7.        My son says: "Dad, do you lose weight if you get rid of those things inside your back?" 

Me: "What things?"

Son: "The rabbits with no hair or eyes."

8.        My first son at three as he was falling asleep in the car: "Last time, I died in a fire." I almost drove off the road.

9.        My daughter said to me that there is a woman who watches her watch movies in her room and sleeps on the ceiling above her bed when she sleeps. She also says it doesn't like me and wants to eat my heart. My kid watches Elmo and fucking Dinosaur Train. Where in the hell did she get this from?

10.        When I was young my mom caught me putting toys on the stairs. When she asked me why I was doing that, I said: "So daddy can slip and fall."

11.        My 3-year-old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for a while then turned and looked at me and said, "Daddy it's a monster. . .we should bury it."

12.        "There's a thing called a Cricket Bat. It kills. It just kills. All it does is kill. It wakes up and it kills and kills and kills then it sleeps then it wakes up and kils some more until it dies. 

-A three year old girl.

13.        When my daughter was three, one day she said to me: "Don't you remember, mommy? Before, when you were the daughter and I was the mother, they came and chopped all our heads off. Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop! The whole village!" She made vicious chopping motions every time she said the word chop.