▪I'll never get over it▪(Suicidal! Deku) Completed

Chapter 9

=Deku's POV=

I stood up from my bed and went towarda the bathroom. I would've seen myself in the mirror in the past. But I hate myself. I can't look at my reflection without bursting in tears.

So I smashed my mirror. Now I don't have to see myself. I went in the shower and did my daily hygiene things. I went over to my razor.

I cut, and cut, and cut, I have done so much self harm over the past month. What happened to me? The voices don't come as much as they did in the start. But they are still here. And I believe in them at this point.

I dabbed my cuts with a wet cloth and bandaged them up. I put on my blazer and went out of my dorm room. Not even bothering to clean the blood on the wooden floor.

I made my way to school venting out everyone, ignoring everyone that called my name. I made it to my class. My hands looked so skinny and pale. The last time I looked in a mirror my eyes were lifeless. I looked numb, emotionless.

My grades have dropped significantly.

Yeah because you're stupid. You can't keep your grades up, really? How pathetic are you?

I used to be so responsible that i wouldn't sleep, because I was doing homework. Now I don't sleep because i'm suffering. I lost interest in everything. But I still try to be a hero.

I over work so I can ignore everything. I'm so focused on training that I forget about everything. "Izuku Midoriya" "mm" "Alright" Mr. Aizawa gave me a concerned look, it almost looked painful.

I just ignored it and continued thinking. I need to go to work. Another 24 hour shift, after that clean the place up and wash everything dirty. This is what happens when you skip work so much.

I was starting to stress out which gave me an urge to cut. But i'm not stupid-

Yes you are

Shut up. As I was saying, i'm not stupid. Instead of going to the bathroom everytime I want to cut, I pull strands of hair. The little pain after pulling out my strand of hair somehow satisfies me.

I only cut at either lunch or recess. Not at both, or else people can get suspicious. If I cut at lunch I throw up my breakfast and lunch. If I cut at recess I throw up my breakfast and then throw up the rest at my dorms.

"riya....mid...ya..mido" is someone calling my name? I prefer not to talk. "MIDORIYA" I jolted up and stared at whoever just shouted at me. It was Todo.

"Hey Todo" "Heyyy.... um. Have you realized that you're pulling your hair out?" I panicked a bit and said "Oh! No I didn't! Sorry, I was busy thinking and didn't realize I was doing it. Its a new habit of mine whenever i'm feeling stressed".

"Well then don't stress yourself" I was feeling a bit drowsy, my eyes were feeling a bit heavy. But I ignored it. "Midoriya?" "Uh, yeah?" "Just don't do it to much. Ok? It'll be harder for it to grow back. I like your hair staying fluffy." He said giving me a small smile.

I blushed, but not too noticeable. I just love it when he smiled. "OI DEKU!" "Y-yeah?" "Why are you so weird these days?" "W-what do you mean?" I said tryinf to scratch my neck. But my arm was to sore from last nights training.

I winced in pain. "Oi, what did you do?" "Wht do you mean?" "You winced like you were in pain Midoriya" I stayed silent. "My arms just hurt from last nights training" they looked a little shocked. "You train at night?!" I looked down embarrassed.

"Y-yeah..." I said in a whisper. Black dots were starting to fill my vision. I gave a small genuine smile to them. "I'm sorry".

=Third Person POV=

Midoriya passed out Todoroki quickly catched him with some ice before he hit his head in a desk. "What the shit? What did you do to Deku you asshat?!".

"I did absolutely nothing to Midoriya" Todo calmly stated. "What is going on here children of Sata- I mean God" Aizawa boringly said. "Idk stupid Deku just passed out".

=Aizawa's POV=

I examined Midoriya. He had some huge bags under his eyes, its like if you combined my bags and Shinso's. He has clearly overworked himself. "Anything strange about him?" "Uh yeah, he said his arms hurt because of last nights training" this fucking kid.

"He trains at night?" They both nodded. "Overwork" I simply stated. "HAH?!" "Its obvious, look at those eyebags. He can't even scratch hi neck without wincing at the pain. Just hand him over and i'll take him to Recovery Girl. He will rest there" "Okay". Todoroki gently handed him over. What a problem child. I started heading my way over to granny.