Zara:PTSD

I've let You Down

Monday, February 3
I'm at home, safe to say I've finally realized what I was doing was wrong-

Knock, Knock

"Zara, we need to talk. I know you're going through some hard times but you don't have to go through this alone. I just don't understand why don't talk to me."
... sorry, Mom. I just don't want to be a burden to anyone.
"Sweetheart as a mother it's my job to make sure you're okay. You're not a burden to anyone. This is my fault, I've let you down."
No, mom-
"No, it is. I pushed you way too hard, I see that now. From now on we're going at a slower pace. Anytime you think it's all too much. All you need to say is "mom, I need a breather, I can't do this." And we'll stop. Just promise me you talk to me when you're feeling stressed or upset about anything."
I promise.
"Come here. I love you just how you are. No amount of grades will change that. I also think it's time you gave somebody a call."
Maddie...
"Something tells me she really wants to talk to you and my something I mean the voicemails she's been leaving on our house phone."
I will Mom...
I guess it's time I gave her a call.
"Hello?"
Hey Maddie.
"ZARA KRISTEN EVANS!"
Kristen is not my middle name but I'll go with it.
"Why have you not been answering my calls?"
... it's been hard, not having you here. I feel alone.
"Zara, I miss you too. All you needed to do was give me a call."
I didn't want to disrupt your perfect life in France.
"Hate to break it you, but my "perfect French life" is awful. I don't anyone and the only two words I know are Bonjour and baguette."
Really? I'm sorry I didn't call you. I promise to never miss a call again.
"Thank you because it'll stop me from going mad- ENZO! I swear to God, those better not be my new shoes. ENZO! GET OUT! NO, GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE!....
Bye Maddie.
_______________________________
Nothing Lasts...
This was a big lesson. Just because I had overcome something once, doesn't mean It's going to stay that way, not if I acted the wait I did. Reckless. Nothing could stop me. Blinded by success lead me to the one thing that scared me... my downfall. But just before I broke, there was one person who put me together again... and I will be grateful for that for the rest of my life.
Life's hard. Tests, revision, assignments. It can cause a lot of stress but even when you think there's not one person you can talk to. There's always family and friends. Keep them close because they're more special than you know even when they annoy you sometimes.

After all this, there was only one thing left to do...