For the Love of Kimchee (Book 1)

14

Chloe

Eventually, the food was ready and everyone was able to get a plate. Although everyone was black it seemed as though everyone had different roots, because the food ranged from Fried chicken to curry goat. Chloe got a bit of everything, some foods were hot while others were cold. She could tell what was cooked at home and what was cooked at the venue.

When she finally settled back into her bean bag chair with her food, the large group of women had dispersed into smaller groups, choosing to talk with those closest to them instead.

The food warmed Chloe's belly, making her reminisce about America and being able to get Caribbean food and African American food whenever she pleased. She missed the convenience of home and was tired of stinking Kimchi.

Chloe turned to Natalia, who was coaxing the meat off of a oxtail.

"Thank you for inviting me, Talia" her voice coming out softer than she wanted due to the nostaliage gripping her throat.

Natalia looked at her for a couple seconds and smiled lightly knocking shoulder with Chloe.

"Of course! I haven't heard from you in forever and I didn't want out first meeting to be awkward so I thought this event would be perfect" Natalia finally sucked the last bit of meat off of her oxtail and put her plate down for a second, "Plus I kind of picked up during our 14 hour conversation that you were kind of a homebody, so I thought this would be the perfect chance for you to get to know other foreigners."

Chloe nodded. She kind of wished she hadn't shared so much now, she didn't want people thinking she was boring.

"So, what's new with you, Chloe?" Natalia picked up her plate form her lap and picked up a piece of fried chicken.

Chloe thought for a moment. Should she share about Daniel? She didn't want their first meeting to be shadowed by Chloe's need to vent about him, but she also didn't want to keep her feelings bottled up.

"Sooo, I've met this guy. He's nice, but I kinda just want to be friends with him." Natalia cocked her head to give Chloe some major side-eye. "But I don't think that we can just be friends. Things got a little intense so I ended it."

"Girl, WHEETTT??!!" Natalia exploded causing, the other women to glance at them. Chloe could see the gears turning in her mind. "Wait, is he ugly? Is he poor?"

"Umm No, he's pretty good looking and he's a doctor, so I'm pretty sure he isn't poor." Chloe answered frankly.

"Then sis, what's the problem? Do you know how many of these girls" Natalia waved her hand at the circle of black girls. "Would kill to meet a hot doctor in Korea?" Natalia's dark brown eyes nearly popping out of her head from excitement.

Chloe giggled. She didn't remember Natalia being so dramatic.

"The issue is that I leave in a year and I don't want to get caught up." Chloe whined to Natalia, her shoulders dropping as she spoke.

"Girl please, you're just afraid of getting your feelings hurt and putting yourself out there." Natalia waved her off and picked up her fork to scoop up some rice and peas.

"From what you've said he seems like a decent person and he also seems interested in you. Why not let go and see where it takes you?" She spooned the rice and peas into her mouth before continuing. " Don't let fear stop you from even starting. You never know what may happen. Who cares if you leave in a year, at least you can say you tried."

Chloe listened to Natalia's rant, feeling anger rise up inside of her. She barely knew this girl and here she was asking her for dating advice. Natalia didn't have the right to judge her like this. Chloe felt like shutting down and leaving. Her good mood from earlier quickly evaporating.

Natalia must of saw the look on Chloe's face because she paused for a minute. "Listen, I'm not trying to get all up in your business or tell you what's best for you. Only you can decide that, all I'm saying is that it sounds like you're not even giving yourself a chance to live. You're 25 and living in freaking South Korea. Let yourself have this adventure."

Chloe looked down at her plate annoyed at herself, but for different reasons now. She picked up a chicken leg and bit into it. The flavor not quite reaching its full potential due to her morose spirit.

"I guess," Chloe mumbled, taking another bite of food.

"I just don't want you to leave here and look back at this 10 years from now and wonder what could've been. Live life as it comes, not to some predetermined plan you have."

"Are you done, girl?" Chloe didn't mean to sound rude, but Natalia had hit a sore spot. She was tired of people telling her to 'live a little.' Like what was she doing? Dying? She tried to add laughter to the end of her sentence to lighten it up, but Natalia saw straight through it.

"Oops looks like I overstepped. Sorry Chloe." She raised her hands in surrender. "Let's change the topic." Choe nodded and Natalia easily steered the conversation to her job and how bad the kids are. After some time Chloe was able to bounce back a little and become a little more animated, but Natalia's words still stuck in her mind.

Chloe got back to her apartment around 11 pm, exhausted. She needed sleep. As she took her nightly shower, her thoughts kept ping-ponging between Natalia, her father, and Simone. They all wanted her to start experiencing life, but in her mind she was already experiencing it. What more did they want from her? She was in fucking Korea for goodness-sake. She was trying. Why were they pushing her so hard to try new things? She was perfectly contempt with where was in life.

Chloe squeezed more body wash into her pouf. She didn't get it. What was the matter with her, that they thought she needed these new experiences? As Chloe washed she felt warm water trail down her face, her face was nowhere near the shower head but, she refused to acknowledge what it was. If she wanted to waste her life taking care of her father, then they should let her.

The water running down face seemed to have a volume level because suddenly it went into overdrive and the waterworks came pouring. . She let all her frustration out. From Daniel, to her Dad's health, to her lack of a social life, to everyone getting on her case, she even cried about not being able to eat Red Lobster garlic biscuits. She had a lot of faults and there wasn't anyone to distract her from it anymore. She was all alone in South Korea, with the only person she truly trusted here being herself.

Life wasn't going her way anymore and she needed to accept that and embrace the changes coming at her. She couldn't be the same ol' Chloe who wouldn't go ten feet from her father anymore. She had to figure out who she wanted to be. Did she want to be the girl who plans everything out and doesn't know how to let go? Or did she want to be the person it seemed everyone around her already knew she could be?

After twenty minutes the tears finally stopped. She turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel around herself.

Change and growth sucked ass.