My dumb self

paths pt. 4

at the time he was friendly with girls. friendly friendly, but he was dating this girl. lets call her vodka.

she had long brown hair. dyed it pink. she has freckles. taller than me. big nose. thin lips. brown eyes. always talked shit.

nearing the end of their relationship is when i started developing feelings for him. at the beginning she was very cautious of me.

she knew i was his bestfriend. he would post about our funny conversations and make appreciation posts about me. she messaged me one day saying, "hey im vodka :) ik ur jose's bestfriend, and i just wanted to make sure u rnt stealing him from me bc u guys hang out a lot. im just wondering if u like him." i said, "hi, i dont like him. we are just best friends. i know he makes u happy so i would never do such a thing as steal him from u:)" she seemed relieved. and she started talking to me and we became friends.
for a very short time.

she would come to me and tell her about the toxic relationship between them. how she never felt liked by him. he would ignore her messages, but answer mine. give her one word responses. and me, paragraphs, or long flowing conversations. i knew he didn't actually like her. but i never told her. i said, it's not good to have toxicity in your life. cut it off now and you'll be happier later. she refused to break up with him, so i let her be.

jose never really talked about her. if he did it would be mildly good things. they would see each other after school, i would see her fly toward him so excited to see him. he would stand there and unhappily accept her hugs and kisses. i felt bad for him. and her. but mostly him.

she seemed to be very sad. she was scared he would break up with her and said she would kill herself if he ever did, he's the only person that mattered to her. i told her that if he breaks up with her that there is more to life than an ex. ex's are the reason you deserved better and that's why the the relationship didnt prosper. she never took my advice. she would say thank you but not apply it to her mind. i understood, toxic love is an addictive thing.

this cycle continued for a little while longer. she came to me for advice and comfort and i generously supplied it.

she then stopped coming to me. or even talking to me. i let it happen bc people rnt forced to.

i started hearing my name around school. there's only one other person i know of named sierra, and she was in middle school. jose directly told me that vodka was talking shit about me. no one ever really talked shit about me, except pepper after he broke up with me. he said i have a "bitchy" personality. whatever that means. i went up to vodka and asked her if she was talking about me. she said the only things she said about me were always good. i believed her and went on with my day. the next day i heard she was still talking shit about me. i asked her again if she did. she proceeded to say she never did.

this time i asked her to please stop. i've heard she was and i know she is. she said she was sorry and wouldn't do it again. bitch.

the day after that i heard she was talking shit STILL. after school i texted her saying what the fuck. what have i done to u other than be a supportive friend? im a fucking highschooler and she has the nerve to shit talk me? oh hunny.

how insecure can u be? to need constant support and attention from everyone except ur boyfriend bc he never liked u in the first place? to just randomly bring up my name around ur friends saying, "sierra... she's weird, she dances too much." grow the fuck up and act mature for ur age.

in the time we talked she really opened up to me saying literally everything about her. i dont use people's secrets against them, im not that kind of person to hurt them more. shes already insecure bc im her boyfriend's best friend. i get way more love from him than she ever will for christ's sake. the nerve of people.

i typed a long, mad but polite, message to the principal, it was ready for me to send. i told her that im going to send it, it would get her in big trouble. she pleaded me not to and said she would never talk shit again. i sent it, and the next day i didnt hear my name once.

it scared her, and i loved having that power. i didnt care what reasons she had for saying any of it. i knew i shouldnt have became friends with the likes of her. i completely stopped talking to vodka, but didnt block her or anything.

her friends started messaging me. i opened them right as i got the text. they were saying to lay off vodka, and that she goes thru enough. BITCH TFFFFFFF

I SAID in a very mad but polite way THAT I GO THRU SHIT TOO, SHE AINT SPECIAL. SHE DOESNT HAVE THE RIGHT TO TALK SHIT ABOUT ME WHEN IVE DONE SO MUCH AS KEEP HER ALIVE DURING HER RELATIONSHIP. YA'LL ARE 8TH GRADERS TRYNA MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE SHIT ABOUT ME? BITCH PLEASE. EVERYONE LOVES ME BC I DONT TALK SHIT LIKE HER. I KEEP THINGS TO MYSELF(this book enters the chat). I TREAT PEOPLE HOW I WANT TO BE TREATED. THE BIBLE???? YA HEARD? FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH UR PETTY SHIT I GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO.

they responded in a fearful way to me. they should be scared. i wasn't gonna act nice anymore.

the office never called her down. i dont even know if they read the email. jose said that vodka kind of stopped talking shit about me and that he's had enough of her messing with me. he said he told all her friends, including her that if she keeps talking shit about me one more time theyre gonna regret it. i admired that about him. he always protected me.

he then wanted to break up with her. HE ASKED ME TO DO IT FOR HIM OVER TEXT. NOW IS MY TIME TO SHINE. he gave me his phone and i typed while he told me the reasons. he left to go somewhere real quick, and when he came back i almost typed as much as an essay. he was like woahhh sierra calm down. haha okkk finee.

she really deserved it. first i sent "hey we need to talk" to get the suspense up. she replied anxiously and said something like im scared is it bad? and i said "no its not bad" to get her hopes up. it was really mean of me to do. i then sent the essay-long break up text. while i typed it she kept sending things like "is everything ok?" "im really scared".

vodka then went thru the first stage of grief. denial. she started denying that i just broke up with her ass. i said bruh get a grip and accept that u've been dumped god damn. this lasted for a long time, of her asking what she did wrong. i didnt type all that shit for nothing, READ IT. (its like when ur cat dies, u dont want to believe it happened, and u dont think u did anything wrong to cut its life early, so u just keep sadly questioning.) did she really think a relationship like that would last? nuh uh. i didnt think so. she of course went to her snapchat and started being like "DONT HMU😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭"

that was the end of their relationship. and the start of something amazing.