My Dear Son (A Your Lie In April/ Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso Fanfiction)

6: Tears

A/n: Thanks for reading my book!
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Arima Kousei POV:

Fear still kept lingering inside my heart even after days I was rescued from the men that abused me. I take my chemotherapy pills everyday like what dad asked me to do but there were times that I was shaking uncontrollably as I was so afraid of so many things in my life. Dad's my oncologist while my grandfather owns the hospital where I am confined. I tried my best to keep obeying him but there were times that Hiroko had to calm me down and help me stick to the reality that I am already safe.

Currently, I feel so helpless. I don't even know how long it was that I have a needle attached on my skin. I had more than one IV needles and IV lines now that they kept replacing as my blood kept staining it or my veins kept popping off and they had to look for a new one again. It seriously triggers my emotional pain but I had to fight them off. My hair began falling, too. I knew it would come but I didn't think about it at all. I can't think about it but I fear that I must be dying no matter how much my father tries to save me.

"Kousei," spoke Seto Hiroko. "It's time to eat. Your breakfast is here."

"I don't want to eat," I told her. "Let it stay there. Eat the porridge if you want."

"Kousei, your father bought this for you," she told me. "It's not hospital food."

"I don't feel so good!" I screamed. "It's not that I don't want to eat. I just know that I'm going to throw it up anyway."

"You're too pale right now," she said to me anxiously. "Should I call your father?"

"Seto- san," I croaked up. "She's here."

"Who are you talking about?" she asked me. "Tell me."

I had a hard time containing my tears."The leader of the organized crime group that abused me... She's here. She entered my room yesterday. I was shocked she's working here. After she got out and gave me something on my IV line, she left! I screamed in fear after that."

"You must be seeing things. I'm sure it was a nurse that I saw yesterday before you screamed, not a syndicate leader," she said to me.

"I know it's her! Seto Hiroko, that's her!" My hands tightened on my blanket as I fold myself up. Water grew on my eyes again and I wailed after that. "Please, don't let her touch me!"

Of course, it did surprise her that the woman who hurt me was hiding in plain sight. I don't know if she will believe me. "Do you know her name? I can tell your grandfather about this. They have silver name tags. Have you read her name?"

"I don't know her name!" I yelled. "I know she is here. I don't know if she's a nurse or a doctor or any others! She visited my room!"

Seto Hiroko hugged me and patted my back while I was bawling all over again as my heart kept on pounding on my chest desperately. It does hurt so much.

"Why do I have to suffer?" I asked her. "Why am I experiencing this?"

"Kousei, don't speak like that. Your mother kept asking the same to me before. I can't give up on you!" she said as I hear her voice cracking. I was also able to see and hear that she was silently sobbing. "Try not to keep thinking about your abductors, okay?"

I nodded as I try to calm myself down. "Thank you."

...

"He's losing his hair now," Seto Hiroko reported to my father after he placed a breathing mask on my nose and mouth. "What should we do?"

"I'll have to shave them all off," he told her. "I never knew it will come to this. He's too thin and very weak. I'm afraid there will also come a time that I would see him without hair."

"I can't help but think of the old days when it was Saki," she cried out. "He will survive this, right?"

"I don't know," he answered her. "I hope he does."

My eyes opened. I can't really speak though due to the breathing mask but my breathing was definitely too labored. While they were chatting on one side of the corner of my bed, a female nurse entered my room and as she got closer to me, my heart began pounding dangerously as I saw who the nurse is. Her gold hair, brown, sharp eyes, and tall stature made my hair raise. She tried to touch my IV Line but I pushed her instead.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted. "Leave me alone! It's you, isn't it? You're the woman that hurt me!?"

"Mr. Arima...," she spoke up while holding an injection. "What are you talking about?"

My dad immediately intervened. "Kousei, what's happening here?"

I can't help but tear up again as I remove the breathing mask so I can speak. "She's the leader of that syndicate that abused me!"

"That's impossible, Kousei. His father is a well- known doctor here," he said to me. "She's Yamamoto Akira."

"But I am sure it's her!" I screamed at my father. "I remember that my abductor has gold hair!"

"That's not her, Kousei," he told me. "I am sure it was someone else."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked my father as the nurse before me looked hurt by my accusations. "Why isn't it her?"

"We already found out who it was after Seto Hiroko reported to me while you were in deep sleep," he explained to me. "She was handed to the police at the same time you were rescued. They were only a small syndicate but they may be small but I know, they gave you a huge emotional and physical scar."

"But... But...," I tried to keep explaining to her but in the end, I just screamed atop of my lungs. "Get her away from me!"

"Get out, Seraphine! I'm sorry if he accused you but I hope you know that it's just his trauma that's making him talk like this," Dad told her. "Call his psychiatrist! I need to talk to her!"

"Yes, sir!" she said as she rushed out of my room after she dried her own tears while Seto Hiroko tries to keep myself calm.

"I want to go home!" I screamed at him. "Why are my old friends not visiting me?"

Slowly, I felt numb upon the time my female Japanese- British psychiatrist entered my room while my piano mentor was holding me. She has hazel eyes and brown hair. I don't know what she did but I just stopped screaming altogether.

"I do think he's afraid of people with gold or blond hair," Dad reported to her. "His trauma's aggravating his cancer."

She sighed. "Seraphine will be given new tasks. Don't get her near your son or order her to change her hair color. She might have been the one that triggered her panic attack. He had another one after seeing her."

"Alright," he agreed. "Why is it harder to cure someone you care so much anyway? It was easier for me to talk to other people with cancer but it when it came to my son..."

"I know you know the answer and I told you to refer him to another oncologist but you refused," she told him. "He is your son. You are afraid to fail."

My dad went silent. "It's true that I am afraid that I may fail. I don't want my son to die."

"Dad, I'm sorry," I told him. "Save me."

He held my right hand and looked straight on my eyes. "There's no need to say sorry. You didn't want to be sick after all."

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A/n: Do you think Kousei's just overreacting due to his trauma? Tell me in the comments below! Thank you!