My Dear Son (A Your Lie In April/ Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso Fanfiction)

7: Fear and Trauma

A/n: Hope you like my fanfiction!

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Arima Kousei POV:

Weeks had already passed after I was rescued and diagnosed with cancer already. Every time I wake up again was a huge torture to me as I know, it was once again going to be a round of getting a lot of injection and drinking chemotherapy pills. I was also given blood transfusion. I learned to stop complaining and fighting my father. They were able to convince me to keep up the fight and don't give up. Even so, I had become numb instead. I'm sure dad had already shaved my head, too, as I don't feel any hair on it. I can only feel a turban covering my head. A tear dropped down my cheeks while I look out the window on my right. I'm envious of those people walking outside the hospital.

"Can we visit him, ma'am? It's been a long time that we didn't see him," a female voice told my guardian, Seto Hiroko.

"Be careful around him, okay?" she told her. "He's afraid of women with gold or blonde hair."

My eyes widened in fear again when I saw that she let that woman who abused me enter my room and most especially, she's with my childhood friends. As my heart was pounding dangerously, I closed my eyes tight and gripped my shirt tight.

"Kousei," Seto Hiroko asked me. "Are you alright?"

"Why... Why did you let her get in here?" I asked her as I cry harder. "Why is the woman that abused me here?"

"Kousei?" spoke a voice that could calm me down. I stared at her and wondered why until I realized that it wasn't who I was thinking of. "Do you remember me? What happened to you?"

I tried my best to look away in shame. Was I too traumatized to think that it was Kaori who abused me? She also has gold hair the same as the woman that almost killed me. Have I developed fear with those with gold hair?

"Sorry. I know and I remember you. I thought..." My tears and emotional numbness overwhelmed me again. I can't even speak comfortably in front of my childhood friends and at Kaori who visited me. "Please leave. Thank you for coming here."

Seto Hiroko took a deep breath and guided them out of my room while I can't stop sobbing. Water sprouted out of my eyes like a fountain over again and I can't even stop them.

Why can't I move on?

"Everything's fine, Kousei," she said as she tried her best to soothe me.

"It hurts, Seto- san," I cried out to her while I feel nauseous. "I'm going to die. I know it."

I heard my friends all gasp in shock after I said that. I know they will be hurt by what I said but what can I do? I was reduced to a very weak boy after I was rescued.

No. Ever since my mother passed away, I had lost myself. "Bucket."

My guardian immediately knew that I was about to throw up and so, she guided my friends out first to give me privacy as acid kept on building up on my throat. After she closed the door, she was just at the right time when she handed me a bucket. I threw up everything on my stomach including small bits of meat I forced myself to eat. My throat became so achy and it became very sore after I released everything from my stomach. She took it off immediately after I was done and put it down under my bed. She helped me lay down on my bed after drinking a glass of water. It was then that I felt a lot of pain which kept on electrifying my whole body. She covered me on my blanket and told me to go to sleep.

"Close your eyes," she told me. "You need to rest. You really can't keep yourself awake for more than five hours."

"What if I never open my eyes again?" I asked her while I clenched my fists on the sheets of my bed. "There's still something inside me telling me I want to keep living but my body's killing me."

"Listen to that inner voice and fight your sickness," she reminded me. "If you push your will to survive, we're sure you will."

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A/n: Thank you for reading my story! ❤❤❤