WICKED'S PAWN

Chapter 6

[WARNING:There are some inappropriate words in this so, there's not a lot. There's like 10-14]

Today Minho was gonna let me run in the Maze by myself. He said there was a stupid Gathering over something stupid. I couldn't help but feel that way. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the fact that I'm the only girl and every one either looks at me like a lost puppy or like a piece of meat. Technically, we all are pieces of meat. So, I did my daily routine, got up early, took a shower, had breakfast and ran out in the Maze. The corridor we discovered yesterday was still there somehow, not wanting to pass out from the ringing, which almost happened yesterday, I ignored it and continued running. Feeling tired and hungry,I sat down to eat a bit and listen to more of my recordings. Pressing play, I got up and listened intently to it. 'I figured it out. I figured everything out. Happiness is not real. True happiness doesn't exist nor does true despair. How can anyone know what anything means? We all are free, they say. I don't feel free. I feel locked, chained, caged, silenced. Depressing thoughts are common, happy thoughts are not. They say, I am unique, that I have a purpose. To do what, kill, destroy, and ruin.' I felt understanding of myself, does that make sense. The words I spoke had another meaning, of loneliness and of misunderstanding. Everyone has a story to tell, but it does not matter about the story, it matters of who listens. I don't know why, but I wanted to listen to more, learning more about myself. 'I tried doing something today. Nothing good. I tried breaking out. I saw trees and birds and insects. They pulled me back in, furious. I was mad, too. If they wanted to be bad, I can be too. So I did it. I got a Griever. And I fucking set it out on them. It was huge. I fucking controlling it with my fucking mind. Their faces were priceless. I think it killed one of them. I felt content. No happy. Content. I made them feel the way I felt. Revenge. It felt good.' I stopped in my tracks. Realising something. I was a sicko. I was a heartless creature. Not human. I was jogging slowly away, nearing the Cliff, I saw it. A fucking Griever. I almost laughed. Why? I don't care. it was ugly. Like imagine the ugliest thing you've seen and multiply it by infinity. It was huge with metal rods and thing sticking out of it.
My heart was beating so fast, it almost came out of my chest. Then as if it had a mind, which it probably did, it turned towards me and made creepy clicking sound. My breath hitched in my throat and I ran. I ran as if my life depended on it. Which it did.....but if I could kill it. I didn't want to. I could pass out from exhaustion. Distracted by these thoughts, I almost forgot about it. It was gaining on me, fast. My legs feeling as if they were about to fall off, I ran even faster if I good. Feeling the fatigue, I immediately regretted the decision of taking the longest running path today. Why? Why me? I almost stopped and let it kill me. But I thought of everyone. The oath I took to myself. I ran even harder almost passing out. I thought of stuff to motivate me. Feeling the sweat dripping off me, I didn't bother wiping it off and thought. I thought of Chuck, why anyone would want to put a small kid like him in this prison. I ran harder. I thought of Newt and how I found out how he almost tried to kill himself. I ran harder. I thought of Thomas, his distant yet friendly behaviour, full of hope. I ran faster. I thought of Minho. His sass, witty comments, how his hair remained perfect, how he never gave up. How he was so stubborn and how overprotective he could be. I ran faster and harder, even though there was no use anyway. The Griever was only a few feet away. I didn't even need to look, I could hear it.
I was nearing the Glade's entrance, but I was too slow. I thought of Minho. How he would yell at me to go faster, how he would yell at me for being so careless. For being a shuckface. I smiled at the thought but kept running faster, if I could. I could feel it falling behind, my lungs aching for air, my feet tired and sore, my body about to pass out from sheer exhaustion. Ignoring the pain in my body, I ran. Not as fast as before. Not as motivated. I could feel it waiting for me to slow down. I couldn't. I would if I could. But I didn't. I had the sudden urge to yell an insult at the Creators who I knew were watching. So I dissed at them, while running. 'What wrong, you sons of bitches! Huh! Scared of a girl you people are crapbags! Fucking douches. You people got no fucking life. Go to hell, but I you fucking people will feel at fucking home there. I hope I get to kill you fucking people with my fucking mind. I swear!' I could feel myself tiring. My body aching. My lungs aching. My legs asking for a break so I ran. I ran into the next corridor where I stopped.
I fucking stopped and used the remaining fraction of energy left inside of my body, and focused on it. All my anger, sadness, loathing, everything. And it burst apart. Like it literally exploded. My body almost passed out but I didn't let it. I still had to get back or I'll never get to kill them. Glancing at my watch, I realised that I only had about 15 minutes until the Doors closed. Groaning, I ran. I could hear Gladers cheering me on. I saw the Doors and saw my friends waiting. I felt myself breathing heavily as I saw the Doors closing. I started trying pushing myself to go any faster, if I could. I saw Minho in front, yelling, his face red from yelling so loud, for so long. I realised something, I felt something, not only for him, but that beast inside of me. I saw that the Doors were almost completely closed, so using the last bit of willpower inside of me, I let the beast out. I yelled, holding my hand out and had the Doors grinding oppositely. They were slowly opening. The Gladers looked shocked and in awe. I couldn't keep it up for much longer. The corridor seemed to stretch out for miles, which it actually did. I was filled with more despair, feeding the beast, I let it out completely no longer controlling it. The Doors slid open, and I could feel them struggling underneath my hold. I ran faster and at the last minute, my willpower wavered. The doors were closing, slowly but still moving. I ran and jumped into the Glade. Letting my grasp on the Doors go. I landed on my knees, breathing heavily and I started coughing. Coughing so violently, some blood came out my mouth. Immediately boys surrounded me. I saw Minho in the corner of my eyes. Alby came and shooed them away. I saw Thomas, Newt, Alby, Minho, a Med-Jack and Chuck. I leaned behind a tree while a bottle of water and a scrap of cloth was in my hand. After feeling a bit less sick, I started to explain what happened.
'I'm gonna start from the beginning and don't give me any bullshit on how I used bad language and how fucking stupid I was. Alright. I was running and I took a break and played the thing, and when I neared the Cliff I saw a Griever. It was like as if it was waiting for me. So I turned around and started running. I started insulting the fucking Creators because I was mad and maybe the Griever got distracted or something. I was already tiring for some stupid reason so I knew I couldn't run much longer. I ran as much as I could and then I stopped. I stopped and I killed the shucking Griever. It exploded right there. I saw that the Doors were about to close, so I started running back but I knew I wouldn't make it if I didn't do anything. So when the Doors started closing, I used my little trick and didn't let them, as you all saw. I jumped in and here I am, alive.' Newt started off, 'Bloody hell Alex. You kill the Griever. You also got some bad language.' I laughed but then Thomas started saying, 'That was real brave of you, you know, killing it. Otherwise you would've led it right here. You could've gotten stung too.' He said a bit concerned, but then Minho started speaking, angrily, 'Alex! How stupid of a shucking shank could you be. One day, one day I don't come in the Maze to babysit you and you kill a Griever and almost get killed! You are so careless! So stupid! You are the stupidest and worst Runner here! Whatever, get killed I don't care anymore.' He said the last part while he stood up and my eyes started getting glassy, but I didn't let the tears fall. Alby just told me to get some rest and be more careful next time.
I went to go take a shower, still hurt by Minho's comments. I had to go to the Map Room, so I did. I saw nobody was there, I sat down and started making my map. It was small, but I made it detailed, and started studying the other Runners maps. Frustrated, I let out a long sigh and I let myself feel. I let myself feeling everything I've felt. The loneliness, the hurt, the pain, the sick thoughts in my mind, everything. I cried. I didn't care if anyone saw me. Not anymore. I didn't care if anyone heard me. Not anymore. I cried. I cried until there were no tears left. But there were more. So I let them out. I heard someone walking in, but I didn't care. Not anymore. I felt the persons arms wrapping around me. I let them, and I cried. I cried for what felt like hours, but it wasn't. I died a little inside, knowing that I'm just an anomaly. I dried my eyes on the sleeve of my t-shirt and looked up to see who came inside. Who let me cry. It was Minho. He looked a little sorry, probably for the stuff he said earlier. I didn't need pity though. He spoke up, 'Your face is all red. I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean it though. And no, Newt did not make me do this, incase you were wondering. You are actually one of the best Runner's I've seen. You're fast, smart and quick on your feet. You actually are really brave for doing what you did. I'm really sorry.' He stretched the last part out like a little kid and I smiled at his words and hugged him, forgiving him.

[So? How was it? It's a little bit longer than usual and don't forget to vote and comment! Until next time shanks!]