Training Mendes // s.m.

thirteen

Millie
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I stared at him. What was I supposed to say? He confessed his love for me, he was fake dating some artist, he loves me? What was I supposed to say?

Shawn stared at me, waiting for something to come out of my mouth. I had nothing. I had nothing to say. He loves me? I couldn't even think to form words.

Just this morning I was crying because he moved on, but now it was fake and didn't mean anything. He loves me? Just this morning I was in the hospital because he moved on, I dropped a bowl and tore my legs and feet up because he moved on, but it was fake.

Shawn stood, staring at me. I knew he wanted me to respond, I had to. He confessed his love for me! I didn't know what to say. I stood from my spot on the couch and roughly walked to my bedroom. I dug into my closet and pulled out a tee shirt I had take from him.

I came back to the living room and Shawn was tugging at his hair.

"I kept this." I softly said.

He turned around quickly and looked at the shirt. He furrowed his eyebrows until the memory clicked. I had taken it on one of the random nights we were in the hotel. He threw it at me after he rubbed it over his chest and winked at me.

We were stood in the hotel room, laughing uncontrollably. Shawn was standing at the edge of my bed, I had the blankets tucked up to my chin. I was so tired and just wanted to sleep. He insisted on giving me a free show for the night. I laughed as he pulled his shirt ever so slowly over his head and winked. He bit his lip and rubbed the shirt over his chest and tossed it to my face. I laughed loudly and he fell onto my bed, rolling as he laughed. Then security came to give us a noise complaint, to which we continued to laugh even harder. I had pulled the shirt over my small frame to act as a dress for my part in the show. Shawn and I had danced around the hotel room, he leaned me back and pressed a kiss to my forehead. He called me a princess and told me I was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on.

Shawn's eyes seemed to glaze and he came over to me. He put his arms around me and pulled me close to his body.

"The night you left, the night you left me that stupid note, I could have killed someone. I came back to the hotel faster than you could say goodbye and you weren't there. You took everything. You left me nothing of you besides a stupid note that you wrote. Millie, I was going to break your contract that night and bring you on the tour as my girlfriend."

Shawn rested his head on mine and told me. He held me so close to him, I felt like I couldn't breath. I missed his smell, so much. I took a deep breath and he continued.

"I called Dylan on the way back to the hotel and he said he thought it was dangerous, but I said I would fire him if he didn't agree. He was going to let you, but you were gone. The second I walked into that room and you were gone, fuck Millie, I really could have killed someone."

I squeezed him tighter and bit my lip. If he kept talking, I wouldn't let him leave. If he kept talking, he would have to stay. If he kept talking, I would have to kiss him.

"Millie, I love you more than anything. I wish I would have told you sooner. The past months you have been here, I wanted to break down your dumb door to tell you. I feel so strong for you that you are all I can think about. I wrote five songs about you." He chuckled.

He leaned away and I looked up at him, tears rolling down my cheeks and biting my lip. He moved his hands to my face and wiped the tears.

"God Millie, why'd you leave?"

As soon as he said that, I felt my walls crumble. His eyes were so sad. So broken. I did exactly to him what Jeremy did to me. He broke me and I broke Shawn. Things got scary and I left, hurting the one person I had.

Shawn's eyes stayed on my face, taking in everything in the moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but there was a knock on the door. It was about 7:30 at night, which was weird. Shawn told me to sit as he went to answer it.

"Who the fuck are you, buddy?"

"I'm Shawn, you are?"

"Ethan, Ethan Evans, Millie's brother. Move."

I turned to face the door and saw Ethan come storming in. He rushed over to me and hugged me.

"Ethan, literally what the hell."

"You left me terrified on the phone, you didn't answer, I told you I was coming. Did you call Dad?"

"No. I don't talk to him."

"Who is that guy, I mean I know Shawn Mendes, but why is he here?"

"I was on tour with him, I left, and he is here."

"Oh."

Ethan looked over at Shawn who was looking through the kitchen.

"You can go home now." I told Ethan.

"Mills, I can stay and help."

"Ethan, I'm fine. I can handle myself."

"Mills-"

"Ethan, go home. Please. Go to Stacey. I am fine."

"Millie, I can help. I know why you don't want me here, I know I hurt you, but please."

"Ethan, I just want you to go home and leave me alone."

Ethan stood, hurt written all over his face. I didn't feel bad. He kissed my head and turned to Shawn.

"Take care of her."

Shawn nodded and Ethan headed for the door. I rolled my eyes after the door shut and picked the shirt from the chair. I went to the kitchen and extended my arm to Shawn.

"You can take this and go."

"Millie, do you not remember what I just told you?" His face became hurt.

"Shawn. You just told me, it's publicity. It wouldn't matter if we wanted to be together, Dylan couldn't now because of all the money you're getting."

"Millie, please, I ache every time someone mentions you."

"Shawn, you know this can't work, it won't."

"Why don't we try? Why don't we give it a week and see how it goes?"

I scoffed.

"There is no way we could go a week. Someone could see or find out and then bye bye Shawn and bye bye your money."

"As long as I have you, I'm happy." He came over and put his arms on my shoulder, tying his hands behind my head.

I placed my hands on his hips and he stared at my eyes. I just wanted to kiss this big fool. I resisted. I want to, but know we can't start a week like this.

He clearly thought otherwise.