Training Mendes // s.m.

twelve

Millie
-

I hadn't really noticed how long I had been staring at the floor until the curtain opened and two sets of feet walked in.

"Millie, we are going to give you a wheelchair, just to get you to the car, okay?"

Her arms went around me and she sat me in the chair.

"Millie, this gentleman is going to take you to your car okay? It was nice meeting you, feel better."

The wheelchair started moving and I was pushed to a car. Paps were stood off to the side, their cameras clicking away. The car was facing away from the paps, meaning whoever the driver was they couldn't see.

However, I knew it was my brother, no one special. The male nurse helped me into the car, sitting me in the passenger seat. I remembered the familiar scent, and it wasn't my brother. My eyes welled in tears and I looked at the male nurse. I opened my mouth and he waited. No words came out.

He told me to get better and shut the door. I didn't dare more my face to look over. I knew he would have puppy eyes and feel sad for the situation I was currently in. That he felt like a hero for picking me up. That he had a right to be the one person to save me from the hospital.

The car started and pulled out of the hospital. He sped around the corner to avoid the paps and drove me home.

"Mills." He whispered.

The radio was off. The car engine and any noise outside was all you could hear.

"Mamas." He said again.

The nickname he gave me at the frozen yogurt shop. It left me stunned. Then and now.

"Millie, please talk to me." He begged.

"And say what Shawn?" I finally forced out, tears rapidly falling down my cheeks.

I still avoided turning my head, I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing how much worse he made me. How broken I had become.

"What happened? Just tell me what happened, please."

"I was making a bowl of cereal. I had on that stupid media news channel. You were on it and I dropped the stupid bowl. All because of your stupid face. Happy?" I angrily told him.

I crossed my arms and I heard him sigh next to me.

"Millie..."

"No, you don't get to Millie me. You broke me Shawn, after I told you exactly what happened to me. I told you I couldn't open up and you.. you broke me." My voice became weak at the end and I leaned my head against the seat.

We pulled up to my loft and I opened the door. My legs felt extremely weird and I had a hard time walking. I felt Shawn's arms come around me and I tried to push him off.

"Get off of me! Go home! Go away! Get out of my life! Please!" I turned and yelled in his face.

Tears were still rapidly trailing down my cheeks and he ignored me. He helped me into the loft and opened the door. He saw the shattered bowl and blood drips all over the floor. The blood led to the bathroom and was concentrated in the kitchen. I couldn't recall how long I had actually stood there, but it was clearly a long time at the blood puddle.

Shawn lifted me up and put me on the couch, his shoes crunching over the bowl. He pulled a blanket over me and went to the small closet. He pulled out a dust pan and broom and started cleaning the pieces up.

I sat quietly as he cleaned the shards up. Minutes passed as he cleaned up all the little pieces. He made sure to go over everything three or four times to not leave anything behind. He threw the pieces into the garbage and pulled the bag from the can. He tied it and left it at the door. He grabbed a rag and started wiping the blood up. He had to scrub on some areas, they had dried while I was at the hospital.

He threw the rag in the sink and rinsed it off. He dumped the milk down the drain, it had sat out too long. He put the cereal back in its cabinet and came over to the couch. He kicked his shoes off and looked at me.

"Millie... can I explain?"

"No, I want you out." I forced.

I didn't want him out. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted him to kiss my forehead and tell me they meant nothing. I wanted him to be the Shawn I first met.

"Millie, please."

"Shawn, for fucks sake!"

I yelled and pushed the blanket off me.

"Its a stunt! Publicity! It's to cover up what we did! It's not real! I don't like her, I like you, Millie. Fuck." He yelled, standing from the couch.

I stared at the boy in front of me. He looked worn out and tired. He looked sad. He looked frustrated. He looked honest.

"Shawn, I..."

"Millie, I have liked you since the first second I laid eyes on you. I knew as soon as I met you, I had to have you."

"Shawn, please leave."

"You are everything to me. I know Dylan sent you that email. I know how he threatened you, okay."

"Shawn, please get out."

"He did it so the stunt could be real. If anyone saw me coming over here or if you called me or texted me and someone saw, the stunt wouldn't be real."

"Shawn!"

"I love you, Millie! For fucks sake! I love the shit out of you! I love your stupid hair and stupid face and your stupid body! I love you! It hurts me to know what I did and how it got so out of control! I suck at being a person because my management controls everything I say and do! I suck! I'm sorry! I know you opened everything to me, and I know how broken you were and how broken you are now and I caused that! I did it! I know! I just... I miss you so much. I need you, Millie."