Not So Innocent

Epilogue

Umji's POV

I looked at his white coffin in front of us. I stood up and walked towards it. I'm not ready to say goodbye! I did not expect to see him inside a white coffin this early. I touched the coffin gently and sighed.

"Life is unfair I know. We're both not ready for goodbyes. We made promises that we will be parting in a happy way. Are you happy? Huh? Does seeing me cry and be miserable happy for you? You didn't have the bullet for me if it costs your life. I would've survived and fought! Why didn't you? You're the friend who brought me back to my feet even though I just discovered that you're the reason why I fell in the first place. I'm sorry for not accepting your feelings. I'm sorry for being insensitive and numb, thinking that after that day we will be alright. If only I knew I could've accepted you but it was hard as I saw you like a brother. You were very dear to me and Jihoon. You're the one who stood by him when he was asking and looking for his father. I still don't understand why you did that but from the very start you're forgiven. You could've given me time to let all sink in yet you gave up already. Where is your promise that you'll make me laugh whenever I'm sad and crying? Look I'm sad and crying, why don't you make me laugh again? I'm so sorry Sanha. Thank you for the time, love and effort you gave for me. I appreciated everything you did for us. I love you but not like how you wanted me to love you. My heart has chosen and it screams one name. Thank you for being part of a chapter in my life but I believe that the chapter ends here. We'll see each other at the end, I guess? I love you Sanha! I'm sorry." I cried and sat back beside Yoongi and Jihoon.

After a few more messages from friends and family it was finally time. The priest gave his final blessings and sprinkled holy water. We stood up and threw a white rose as the coffin was slowly lowered down to the ground. A piece of my heart broke as I watched them cover the coffin with soil.

"Let's go." Yoongi said guiding us back to the car. We sat inside and he hugged both me and Jihoon.

"Let's all just be thankful for him. Don't cry because he's gone, smile because he at least became a part of our lives." He added and kissed my forehead. I took one last glance at the grave and we drove away.

I will miss you, my friend.