LOVING THE BAD BOY II

Chapter 1 Fatherhood

DANNY

We found out a couple weeks ago that Cayden was "Colic" after several attempts of formula changes.
Kate and I have been a bit rocky due to she's going through some postpartum and hasn't been herself.
As the days go on my nights get longer, this shit was draining the life out of me taking care of Cayden alone. But he's my entire world and if that means losing sleep and working harder I'm willing to sacrifice every piece of energy I got as a father.
I never felt a love like this before that I've encountered with my son it was indescribable man a totally different type "love". Kinda in a way I felt for Kate but a hundred times stronger I couldn't explain it or compare it to anything or anyone.

Kate's been a bit distant and quiet towards me as I'm attempting to work with all her new emotions.
But she only seems to get offended or pissed off anytime I bother to communicate with her it turns into a argument. For a moment it was breaking my heart watching her suffer mentally and emotionally but now I'm doing everything I can do make the best out of the situation. Shit I've even caught myself googling "postpartum" a few times to understand her better and find ways to overcome it. I loved Kate with everything in me I didn't plan on turning my back against her at her worse.

All I can do right now as a father and boyfriend is provide and stay strong to soon overcome all this, this is my family. If I could swap out my brain and heart for Kate's I would to resolve all of her pain and take it away.

"Shhhh" I mumbled blinking a few times shaking a bottle as I yawned walking to Caydens room. "I'm coming I'm coming I'm right here" I exhaled whispering to myself half asleep bumping into the door as I battled to keep my eyes opened.
I lifted him out his crib and attempted to put his bottle in his mouth he began to cry more. "Come on" I exhaled clenching down on my jaw twice as I shook the tip in his mouth slowly. "Alright alright" I took a deep breath checking his diaper next trying to comfort him in any way possible as he wasn't hungry nor needed a change.

"Shhhh I got you" I whispered a bit hopeless cuffing the back of his head with my hand slowly rubbing my thumb against the back of it trying to comfort him. "Come on buddy" I whispered closing my eyes pacing back and forth bouncing him a little as I rubbed his back softly. "You're alright" I mumbled patting his butt softly trying to make conversation with him to calm him. "I'm here" I yawned going on my fifth day of running on three hours of sleep trying to stay away and keep my composure.

As Cayden continued to cry I began to feel worried and guilty as a parent for not knowing how to stop his crying. As I laid him down slowly in his crib for a moment I rubbed my hands down my face. "Alright I got this figure this shit out" I exhaled pep talking myself pulling out my phone as I began googling ways to ease a colic baby to get a better understanding. "Come on come on give me something" I rubbed my hair back leaving my hand on my head raising my eyebrows scrolling as I mouthed some directions to myself.

"Alright" I exhaled tossing my phone as I paced to grab a blanket and lay it on the floor. "Daddy's got you" I whispered picking him up carefully laying him on his stomach trying a technique. "How's that feel?" I asked laying on the floor on my side leaning against me elbow as he slowly stopped crying staring at me.
I blinked a few times staring back as he cracked a small smile. "You think you're funny don't you?" I scoffed looking at him smiling small as I battled to keep my eyes opened at a narrow.

I scratched my head keeping a eye on him as he sucked on his fist I moved my eyebrows down laughing a little. "Is that good?" I asked scoffing as I raised my eyebrows.

As a few moments passed Cayden fell back asleep as I turned him on his back on the blanket. I snuggled up against him on the floor with my arm wrapped around him holding him hoping to get rest before my alarm went off. I put my mouth to his forehead battling to keep my eyes opened as I slowly closed them taking a deep breath balled up against Cayden.
Tomorrows a new day and I don't know where I'd be without friends and family right now, I'm giving this everything I got.

MORNING

As I stretched on the floor tossing and turning I rubbed my hand up my shirt to my chest laying on my back. "Shit" I instantly woke up opening my eyes inhaling deeply sitting up as I rubbed my hands down my face waking up. I was exhausted as I opened my eyes noticing Cayden gone I hopped up pulling up my basketball shorts checking the time on my phone. "Kate?" I yelled rubbing my eye yawning as I walked into the room seeing her sleep. "Where the fuck is Cayden?" I asked myself moving my eyebrows down confused as I walked throughout the house. "He doesn't crawl he doesn't crawl impossible" I whispered to myself pacing through the house as I jogged downstairs seeing my mom with Cayden.

"Oh shit" I exhaled startled off guard placing my hands on my hips rolling my eyes looking away then back at her. "You look tired" She scoffed smiling feeding Cayden as I waved my hand through my hair. "A call or text would be nice" I mumbled shaking my head. "You don't even wake up to your alarm" She said as I clenched down on my jaw walking into the kitchen opening the fridge.
"Fuck I'm late again" I exhaled grabbing some orange juice as I took the cap off tilting my head back chugging out the carton carelessly. "You gotta get on a healthy sleeping schedule" She said shaking her head as I gulped shutting the fridge texting my boss that I was on my way.

"Yeah well he kinda controls that I have to be up to attend to him at any time" I mumbled crossing my arms leaning against the fridge. "Baby's are aloud to cry you know?" My mom said as I glared at Cayden in her arms. "When you were a baby you cried a lot I use to let you sometimes cry yourself to sleep" She scoffed as I rolled my eyes. "He's colic there's a difference between that and your normal standard crying" I mumbled raising my eyebrows a bit irritated looking down at my tattoos rubbing up my arm. "Maybe try a few remedies like music" She suggested as I blinked staring at her. "I'll be fine" I yawned with my fist to my mouth.

"She's gotta get up Danny" My mom exhaled about Kate. "Yeah I don't wanna talk about it I'm late" I rubbed my hands down my face as I walked away going back upstairs to get ready for work.

"Where's the baby?" Kate whispered with the blankets over her head balled up in the bed as I got dressed. "With my mom" I mumbled taking a deep breath trying to keep my composure as I put my shirt over my head pulling it down. "Bring him to me" She mumbled as I clenched down on my jaw twice ignoring her finishing getting dressed. "Did you hear me?" She said repeating herself as I cut her off. "Yeah why don't you get up and actually get to know him" I said shaking my head walking out the room. "Piece of shit" Kate yelled as I rolled my eyes continuing to walk downstairs ignoring her hearing a door slam.

"What was that about?" My mom asked as I walked over pecking Caydens head in his swing. "Nothing" I mumbled scooting his swing a little in front of the tv standing in front of him with my hands on my hips.
"Maybe back a little more" I mumbled to myself worried about his vision as I looked over my shoulder at the tv then Cayden. "You're late" My mom said watching me tilting her head crossing her arms. "Shit right" I exhaled rubbing my hands together patting my pockets for my keys.

"Don't turn it up to loud" I said to her about the tv as she nodded. "And he likes cat and mouse" I mumbled as she stared at me confused. "Oh ah um it's this cat who like goes on these adventures with this cute like little mouse dude" I scoffed squinting my eyes explaining the show as she cut me off. "Go" She said smiling as I nodded looking around the house for a moment.

"Ah um make sure you use the container of water for his bottles" I mumbled walking up to her. "It's nine now" I said looking down at my phone then at her. "He should fall back asleep and wake back up for another feeding then be ready for a bath" I licked my lips explaining his schedule. "About eleven-ish" I estimated shutting one eye walking to the door.
"Oh and if he starts crying hysterically" I said pausing as my mom cut me off. "I got this go" She said smiling as I exhaled nodding blinking a few times overwhelmed as I walked out the door leaving for work.

Welcome to my life.