I decided to drop out of trade school for 'Massage Therapy' as I was indecisive about my major and lost interest in it while having Cayden. I was back at work waitressing while Danny was providing for Cayden and I with his dads Real-Estate business. Danny was also renting out our place back in California and our first apartment which helped out financially. I couldn't be more proud of how hard Danny worked for us and how successful he was becoming as a father and man. Danny was kind enough to pay off my student loans while I debated on something else in the long run.
"Mm" I moaned against Danny's lips as we began kissing in the shower before he got ready for work. "I gotta go I gotta go" He mumbled between kissing me back as he stopped my hands grabbing my wrists. "We should try" I exhaled out as Danny stopped kissing me and gulped. "Now?" He raised a brow. "Are you sure?" He asked blinking a few times. "I mean you're not on anything yet and you said you were scared" He mumbled pacing back and forth in my eyes as I bite my lip wrapping my arms around his neck. "I don't care" I said running my fingers through the back of his curls gripping them gently. "Fuck it" Danny whispered glancing back and forth at my eyes and lips as he backed me up against the wall kissing me passionately.
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As Danny went to lift my leg up to his waist I got a bit nervous. "Wait wait wait" I gasped as Danny was kissing my neck down to my chest I stopped him placing my hands on his chest. "What? What's wrong?" He asked looking at me head to toe concerned backing off. "Maybe we should wait and be safe first" I took a deep breath as Danny took one clenching down on his jaw twice coming to a nod. "Alright" He exhaled moving me out the way slowly by my hips as he stepped out wrapping a towel around his waist walking out the bathroom.
As I rang out my hair I stepped out drying off my face with a towel as I wrapped one around my body holding my towel up walking out the bathroom. "You're not mad are you?" I bit down on my nail nervously watching Danny get dressed for work as he ignored me. "Danny" I said crossing one leg in front of the other. "What? Forget it no I don't fucking care anymore" He mumbled as he rubbed a towel up against his head drying his hair as he finished getting ready.
"You don't have to be a asshole" I said leaning against the doorframe rubbing up and down my arms. "Just don't touch me to stop me everytime alright?" He said shaking his head grabbing his keys and phone. "I just had a baby" I argued in my defense. "I don't even feel secure with my body right now" I mentioned truthfully. "Besides I'm not on birth control" I gulped. "Alright cool good for you I don't care truly" He argued back. "I gotta go" He mumbled walking out the room as I became speechless watching him leave.
It's been almost a month in a half of no sex for Danny and I, I just wasn't use to or comfortable with the changes of my body. I was also indecisive about birth control with being older and debating on more kids down the road. I felt like I was pushing Danny away more and more by not having a sex life with him. My insecurities were all over the place as I began having trust issues as if Danny would find sex somewhere else.
