bitch // billie eilish

eighteen

I slammed my fist down on the pillow as i tried to get into a comfortable enough position to sleep in for the one hundredth time. I was getting groggy without any sleep. I glanced at the alarm clock beside me, the bright red lights reading '2:07.'

The red lights reminded me of something. I kicked the blankets that were around my body, to the end of the bed and internally groaned when my feet made contact with the cold wooden floor.

I suddenly felt the need to pee so i waddled out of my room and into the hallway to get to the bathroom.

Just as i was about to push the door open, Gemma opened the door while wiping her hands on her shorts. She gave me a tired smile. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail and her tank top was tucked into her pyjama shorts.

"Can't sleep, as well?" She asked me, stepping out of my way so i could enter the bathroom.

I nodded slightly and closed the door so i could use the toilet. I wasn't tired but i'd love to sleep.

Once i finished, i let the cold water run from the tap and onto my hands. I quickly dried them and opened the bathroom door to reveal Gemma standing there.

"I'm gonna go back to bed and try to sleep. I can't stop thinking of what's gonna happen later. How she's like or wh-"

"C'mon." Gemma stopped me from saying anything more and grabbed my hand. I didn't want to go back to my own bed so i led her into Billie's room instead.

I let go of Gemma's hand and got under Billie's thick blankets. My head immediately sunk into the soft pillow and i let out a sigh, completely comfortable in the bed.

Soon enough, Gemma crawled in beside me. I let her take me in her arms as i wrapped my own arms around her body.

The tiredness was really starting to hit me now when i got comfortable. I could feel myself sinking in and out of consciousness a few times. I just about heard Gemma tell me goodnight before i completely drifted off, happy inside her arms.

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I woke up to movement beside me and i opened my eyes slowly, getting greeted by Gemma with an apologetic expression on her face once she noticed me.

"Sorry. I tried not to wake you." She spoke, giving up on being quiet and throwing down the blankets.

"It's all good." I gave her a small smile, letting myself stretch out on the bed, turning around and laying on my stomach. I'm sure i ended up looking like patrick star as one arm was hanging off the bed and the rest of my body right in the middle, spread out.

I struggled with myself to get up out of the comfortable position i was in. When i did get up, i wandered into my own bedroom to get changed into fresh clothes. I didn't have much planned for today so i just threw on a hoodie and sweats again, my go to outfit.

My appetite was gone because the nerves i had about today were just taking up my whole stomach. I practically skipped downstairs and into the kitchen where Claudia and Gemma always seemed to be. Claudia was sat with a cup of steaming coffee in her hands while she chatted with Gemma.

"Can we go now?" I asked them when i sat down on the chair, looking up at both of them. A pout was on my lips as Claudia stared at me, her eyebrow raised.

"Wait until i finish my coffee, alright?" Claudia spoke, rubbing her hand on the mug, most likely to warm her palm.

"Please can we go now." I whined like a child, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Fine." She groaned and dumped her coffee into the sink, scooping up my car keys that were on the counter beside Gemma. "Let's go."

I managed to form a small smile before following Claudia out of the house, Gemma walking beside me.

We all climbed into the car, Gemma in the passenger seat next to Claudia who was driving. I sat in the back. I needed space.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was high in the sky, the sky blue with barely any clouds. The clouds that were floating around were pure white in all shapes.

The occasional bird would float across the gorgeous scene i was looking at.

The sky reminded me of Billie. Sometimes it would be bright and other times dull, maybe light and dark in some other places. Just like her. She could be sweet or be a bitch, then she could be feeling kind and still be an asshole to other people.

I missed Billie too much. I even missed her being a dick, at least she was still there. What was i talking about, she still is here. Well, she'll be in my presence soon.

As if on cue, Claudia turned around and announced that we were here. I felt worse than before now. I don't know why i was so nervous about this.

I grabbed Gemma's hand once we got out of the car and pulled her into my side. She squeezed my hand reassuringly as we began to make our way into the building. Claudia led the way, with Gemma and I hanging behind her.

It was too soon when we entered a room with Finneas laying across the bed with his phone in his hands. He looked up when he heard Claudia knock on the door and the smile that came upon his face was heartwarming. He sat up on the bed immediately and Claudia basically threw herself into his arms.

I glanced over at Gemma as she stood there, her mouth open. I nudged her gently and she looked at me before looking back at the pair in front of us.

"Mia! I missed you so much, shithead." Finn laughed, opening his arms wide once Claudia was out of them. I threw myself into him and hugged him to me tightly. My eyes were closed tight too, i didn't want any tears to escape.

I pulled back and gave him a sympathetic look to which he gave a sad smile and shrugged. When his eyes met with Gemma's, he was noticeably confused.

Claudia laughed from beside us and nodded towards me. "That's Gemma. She's Mia's..."

She trailed off at the end and her eyebrows were raised in confusion, like the look on Finneas' face.

"Friend. She's my new friend." I finished for Claudia. I couldn't help but glance at Gemma who just laughed awkwardly.

"Damn, Mia. Ouch."

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A/N*
this chapter is so B A D sksksk