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I squeezed Billie's hand tighter in mine as she shut her bedroom door and i led her over to her bed. We both sat down and i could feel Billie's hand getting sweaty so i let go, and she wiped her hand on her sweats.
The room was quiet. So quiet you could hear Finn, Claudia and Gemma chatting from downstairs. A million thoughts rushed through my head, making me feel dizzy and sick. I drew a ragged breath in between my lips and turned to look at Billie, who was staring at the floor with worried eyes.
"I-" I gathered up all the strength to speak but was interrupted by Billie's voice.
"Are you breaking up with me?" She asked, her voice breaking at the end.
"Bil-"
"Are you breaking up with me?" She said again, her voice stronger this time.
"Just listen." I stated. I felt her eyes burning into my face but i couldn't look, for if i looked, there would be no turning back. She didn't make a move to speak, so i continued.
"All the threats and the hate and the homophobia. It isn't good for my health, Billie, you know that." My thumb began to run across my fingers nervously. Before i could speak again, Billie did.
"But there isn't actually anything wrong with me, is there?"
"What do you mean?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
"I mean that you are listening to others but not actually focusing on us. There's nothing wrong with us, we're fine, it's them. They're the problem." I felt the blue-haired girl press her hand against my cheek and pull my face to look at her. Her eyes were glossy and her eyebrows twitched. "Cmon, Mia, don't give up on me. Not yet."
"We can still be fr-"
"No! Do not give me that!" Billie suddenly shouted. "I don't want to be your friend, i want to be your girlfriend. I want to kiss your soft lips when we wake up in the morning after a great night of fucking." She smirked, but it disappeared slowly. "I want to take you out on awesome dates where we get fat and not have to worry about anything. I want to bring you chocolates and flowers whenever you're on your period and fighting with me because i didn't pick up my clothes from the floor. I want to do all those things and much more. I want to be married to you some day, Mia. I want kids. We could adopt. We could have a family."
The thought of a little Billie running around the house came into my mind. Of course, that's impossible because neither of us have a dick. We don't even have rubber ones. But it's nice to think of.
But this is about me and my health. If Billie isn't healthy for me to be with, then i can't be with her. At least not romantically. As much as it hurts my heart, it has to be done.
"Are you listening?"
I looked at Billie, not realising i had zoned out for that long. I nodded my head, causing hair to slip from behind my ears and fall in front of my face which Billie was quick to fix behind my ear again and press her lips against my cheek.
