Legacy of the Dreams

Chapter 146 - Goodbye?

Matt found his mother in the waiting room outside the intensive care unit on the fourth floor. He looked in on her and thought she might be sleeping. Her eyes were closed, her head leaned back against the back of a tall-backed chair, and she was breathing deeply. It surprised him. Given what was happening with Melody, the last thing he expected was for their mother to be sleeping.

Susan's eyes fluttered open at the sound of his footfalls. "Hello."

"Hi. Were you asleep?" Matt asked as he sat down in another chair.

"No, only praying ... I seem to be doing a lot of that today," Susan said.

"I'm not surprised," Matt told her. "I hate saying goodbye. I mean, I didn't exactly like it when it was Grandpa who died ... or Grandma either, though that was entirely different. But this is Melody ... my sister. I know because of what has been going on that that's what's happening ... but it's hard ... you know?"

"I do know," Susan assured him. "I don't think goodbyes of this sort are ever easy. Melody is so young. But even so, I know she is ready."

"She knew it was coming," Matt agreed. He glanced at a calendar hanging on the wall. "Today is Saturday. She started saying goodbye to everyone last week. Somehow she knew."

"I think she did," Susan agreed.

"Do you think she'll ever wake up again, Mom? Before the end?" Matt asked.

"Maybe, if they can get her fever down enough to reduce the swelling in her brain. Maybe then she'll be able to wake up enough to talk to us," Susan said.

"Are they even going to try?" Matt wondered. "Given everything else going on with her?"

"We agreed with Dr. Bowers this morning that our goal is for her to be comfortable," Susan shared.

"What does that mean?" Matt asked warily.

"It means they will treat her fever and her infection and give her pain medication if she needs it," Susan replied.

"Does that mean she might live longer than today?" Matt asked.

"I don't know," Susan admitted. "The cancer that is causing her paralysis will eventually also keep her from being able to breathe. Given the other things happening in her body, it is likely at that point, everything will just start shutting down."

"Meaning she will die," Matt concluded.

"I think so," Susan said.

A wave of anguish in the form of grief over took her for a moment and she set her face against it. She wasn't ready for her family to see her cry ... not aside from Greg. But the thought they might lose Melody today was unbearable.

Matt studied the emotions playing themselves out across his mother's face: grief, fear, anguish and hope alternating with hopelessness, and pain. He couldn't imagine as a mother what she might be going through, but he suspected it wasn't good. It was bad enough as a brother.

"Where did you go on your walk?" Susan asked when she pulled herself together again.

"Just down the street. I forgot about the Mexican place on the corner a couple of blocks away. I know we've been there before ... and it was good ... but I've been trying to remember when."

"Mmm," Susan said, grateful for something else to think about. "It might have been one other time when Melody was in the hospital."

"Maybe. But didn't we also go there after Grandpa died?" Matt asked.

"We might have. We have been there several times, Matt," Susan said.

"I haven't. Maybe I wasn't with you the other times," Matt said.