what's love?

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  y/n, maya, dove, sophia, boo, karan, sophie, and a couple others of us were headed up the mountains to camp for a couple of days, and i was honestly super excited.
  we packed the two cars, as there were more than eight of us, and we wanted an open spot per car to cram all of our stuff.
  so y/n and i took the back, and it was pretty nice. i mean, she took my arm and put it around her, and leaned into my chest. i thought of it as so much more than just getting comfortable in a crammed car. i thought of it as her being comfortable enough around me to tell me everything, and it was a somewhat cuddle sesh between me and my crush/ longtime best friend.
  she soon fell asleep, a sit was a long drive. my phone went off, and i grabbed it out of my hoodie pocket. it was from maya, and it said "just go for it!! god my heart hurts watching you sit there and do nothing!!"
i laughed at her message and then replied with a "hell nah, maybe later."
  she snuggled into me, smiling a little. she was so cute. her eyes.. her hands.. her adorable sleepy smile... and then i realized, i was doing it again.
   i closed my eyes and awoke at stopped at a gas station. y/n sat up and stretched, then hugged me tight, "thanks for the pillow, totally gonna use it again." she examines my shirt, "you didn't drool." i laugh, and she looked down with a small blush on her face. "thanks for the answer to all my worries," she joked, then got out to grab a bite from the gas station.
  when she came back, she handed me a bag of skittles and a bottle of sweet tea, our combo from school. i smile and take the goodies from her.
   she puts an earbud in and hands me the other one, then sliding her head into my shoulder, grabbing a blanket for us to share.
  "i'm cold, sorry." she cringed.
  "it's fine," i smile.
   soon she's asleep and i'm listening to her playlist on her phone. "selfish" by PnB Rock is playing and i cant help but think that way about her, leaning on my shoulder.
   time quickly passes by and soon enough we're in the mountains and we leave to go and set up the tents and mattresses, as it's about 8 o'clock.
  we got out all of the tents, but realized we were one short, so someone'd have to bunk with two others.
  "i'll go." maya says, giving up her spot in y/n's tent. "cam's getting pushed to the tent with y/n." maya says, winking at me.
  y/n blushes, and puts her stuff down on the cold ground. we begin to build the already small tent, and i realize that we're going to be sleeping in there? she's going to get crushed! this is a good move, but also a scary one.
  "what are you thinking about?" y/n asks, slinking her arm around me.
  "how small this tent is," i laugh.
  "you're okay sleeping in here with me, right?" she nervously asks.
   "yeah, of course! i just don't want to crush you."
  "you're not going to crush me, cameron." she laughs.
   soon our little village of tents is built, in a semicircle. boo and karan house one, dove, sophia and maya house the one next to boo's, peyton and skai house another one and then china and sophie take the other. thomas and the others wouldn't be up until tomorrow; they had an extra day of filming.
   boo and i set up a small campfire and sophie gets the s'more supplies out while the others find camp chairs.
    we sat and made small chatter, then once everyone sort of got comfortable, we began playing spin of secrets.
  i set the bottle on the ground, where it could reach everyone, and then gave it a small spin. there was a fish bowl lookin thing that small slips of paper in them. whoever the bottle landed on would pull out a piece of paper and spill their secret about what's on that paper or say pass if they didn't have one.
   the bottle landed on dove and she pulled out a piece of paper, "who am i most jealous of here," she read aloud, "probably y/n," she begins, "in the nicest way possible. you're so awesome! and pretty! it's not fair." dove laughs.
  "aww! thank you, honestly i'm jealous of you." y/n smiles and the two give a small hug.
   i spin the bottle again and it lands on boo.
  "if you could have any role in any movie, what would it be," he sat and thought, "spider-man. i'd make a badass spider-man."
  boo spins the bottle and it lands on me. i pull out a piece of paper, and it says "who was your first real love," my face flushed, because i was obviously sitting next to her. "pass." i say, and spin the bottle.
  i see maya look up at me with disappointment in her eyes. "you should've said something!!" she mouths.
  i roll my eyes, "later!"
  the bottle lands on y/n and she grabs a piece of paper. she cringes, and reads "worst breakup," sighs, "jack avery."
  we all erupt. "what?!" i shriek, "you never told me."
  "there's a reason." she sasses back, but spins the bottle again.
   after a couple more rounds, we all call it a night, and get into our pjs, say goodnight to everyone and crawl into our tents.
   "so.. you and jack?" i say, and she rolls over to look at me.
   "why do you care, cam? it's not a big deal." she sasses
    "because i care about you, and if something didn't go down right, i'm gonna be the first one to slap someone."
   "you know what? it's not your business what happened with me and jack! it's over, it's done." she hisses, and rolls back over.
   ugh. it's now or never, i pissed her off and don't want her to stay mad, but i want her to know. do i want to ruin our friendship? before i can come to a conclusion, my arm reaches over and taps her.
  "what?" she mumbled, with tears running down her face. and before i can stop myself, i press my lips onto hers. she's taken aback, but slowly kisses me back. she doesn't smile like i figured she would, hoped she would. i grabbed her hand, and intertwined them. she pulled away, "cameron? what the heck?" she whispered, "i do-don't know." i stuttered, definitely not the reaction i expected.
   "why didn't you say anything?" she hushes.
   "i didn't know! okay, i didn't know about you and jack which was a blow, and i definitely expected something to happen when you cuddled up next to me on the way here. i guess my hopes went up for nothing.." i say, and roll over, not facing her.
she cuddles up beside me. "let's go for a walk."
"why," i say, "you already answered all of my questions."
"because i don't want everybody else to hear what we're saying." she says, rummaging through her backpack and pulling out one of my sweatshirts.
"i didn't know you still had that." i laughed and she looked at me, "yeah.." she says, sliding it on. i pulled mine out of my bag, and we unzipped the tent quietly.
we walked along the path and she took a deep breath.
"i didn't tell anyone about jack because i was scared." she admits, holding onto my arm. "i was scared to tell everyone that i had broken up with him because i was seriously considering someone else."
"who?" i nudge.
"you."
"what?"
"look cam, i didn't think you would ever feel the same way," she starts, "but i kind of just realized i needed to get away from that other person."
  "damn." i say, mostly because i'm speechless.
   "jack is a great person, and he and i talked it out, he totally got it. he went back to his ex girlfriend, cause his feelings didn't change much either." she explained, "so that's why i get defensive about jack."
   "understood."
   "so did you really never have a first love?" she asks, squeezing my arm as we wind further down this trail.
   "i totally did," i laugh, "i just didn't want to say it in front of everyone there."
   "it can't be that bad!" she gushed.
   "dingus, it's you."
   "what?" she shrieked, "i was your first love?!"
   "first kiss, too. freshman year"
  "what?!" she laughed.
   "well, i've exposed myself." i chuckled.
   "do you love me now?"
   "what exactly is love?" i say, "because in a way, of course i love you. in another way i love you. there's multiple ways to love someone."
   "i guess i define it as you'd rather die than let that person be hurt." she says.
   "well," i pause, "that's a good definition," i intertwine our fingers. "i guess i think there's a thousand ways to love. i love you right now, as i walk down this path with you. i love you back in freshman year, i love you in my dreams, and i love you in my future. there's so many ways, but my favorite way is definitely this one.." i say, pushing the hair out of her face, and stroking her cheek.
  "my god you're beautiful," i whisper.
  "you too," she giggles.
  i lean down, close my eyes and connect our lips.
   my hands go down to her waist, and hers go to my chest and neck. she kisses back, fully, smiling and laughing. she started rocking, in a way. but we stood there in the woods, kissing. we kissed slowly, gently and at the same time, quickly, and roughly, and passionately all the while.
  "cameron?" maya says, flashlight drawn. "everyone's looking for you and y/n." i turn so maya can see y/n and i's connected lips.
  "i knew it!!" she gushed, "okay bye."
   we eventually headed back to the camp, crawled back into bed, and she snuggled into my chest and arm. i kissed her head and grabbed her hand.
  "goodnight cam, i love you."
  "i love you too, baby. sleep well."

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