everytime x Nick Mara

"I have so many"

A/N
Ok I forgot to add this but writing that last part tore me to pieces. I cried harder than Emma.

~one month later~

It's been a month since Nick left. It tore me to pieces waking up every morning and not seeing him by my side. The dogs would jump on the bed and I could do nothing but laugh and cry. But I have been pulling myself together. Last night I had a dream but it wasn't just any dream.

It was the dream from my coma. I was back in my old studio and I was writing. Again the words didn't come from me. I was just writing them. This time the words were clear as day. The title literally said "in my head". I chuckled.

My coma was foreshadowing. I read the words over and over. They made we tear up but I didn't cry. I went to my studio and wrote. I had half a notebook filled with a bunch of things. One song I just felt that I needed it to be released.

I put the kids in the car and drove to the PM house. I knocked on the door anly for it to be opened by a girl.

"Hi" She said.

"Oh hi, is Brandon here" I asked.

"Yea he's in the living room" She said. I walked in with the kids. I put the twins on the couch.

"Oh my god, Emma" Edwin said. He ran to hug me.

"Hey guys" I said. They all looked up and hugged me.

"Ok so Brandon can we go to the studio and boys can you watch the kids" I said.

"Of course Emma, Maggie you can join if you want" Brandon said. The girl looked up from her phone. She walked downstairs behind us. I immediately got in thw booth.

"Brandon play one of the beats we made" I said. He played one beat that I felt was amazing for thw song I needed recorded right now.

Thought I end up with Sean but it wasn't a match
Wrote some songs about Hunter now I listen and laugh
Even almost got married and for Nick I'm so thankful
Wish I could say thank you to Jason cause he was an angel
One taught me love
One taught me patience
One taught me pain
Now I'm so amazing
I've loved and I've lost
But that's not what I see
Look what I've got
Look what you've taught me
And for that I say

"Bro you should say thank you" Maggie laughed.

"That's not a bad idea" Brandon said. He dis something with the controls.

"Emma say thank you" Brandon said. I sang thank you.

"Thank you...next" I said.

"That's actually good" Maggie said. We finished that song in an hour.

"Do you have another song" Brandon asked.

"I have so many" I said. We recorded all day into the night.

"Emma you have enough songs recorded to make an album" Brandon said.

"A dope ass album" Maggie said. I laughed.

"I just may make one" I said. I grabbed all my stuff.

"Alright guys, I'm leaving. I'll bring the kids back maybe next week" I said.

"Emma you can bring them over whenever you need a break" Zion said.

"We are all here for you" Edwin said.

"We love you" Austin said.

"I love you too" I said. I grabbed the kids and put them in the car. I had to go home and start cooking. As I was getting in my car another car pulled up. I saw Nick and Alexys get out of it. I slammed my car door shut. I looked at his face and felt a tear fall from my eyes. I drove off trying not to cry. This wasn't gonna come back to haunt me.

When I got home I made dinner and put the kids to bed. I got ready for bed so I could construct this album tomorrow. I planned a board meeting with my team so we could get this started.

~next day~

I took advantage of the boys' offer and left the kids with them. I went to the meeting. Brandon and the rest of the team was there.

"Ok so Brandon and I have been recording for the past year and we have enough songs to make an album" I said.

"Yea and they are really good. We made all the beats and we wrote the music with Marissa" Brandon said. The head manager nodded.

"Well then we make the album and can have it released in a month. The cover has to be done and we have to come up with a name" He said. I jumped a little. My next big album.

~one month later~

So my album is going to be released in two days. Brandon worked so fucking hard to make it perfect. This was literally our album. I was sitting and feeding the twins while Evelyn was in school. Then I got a text.

Brandon
we should have a party to celebrate the release

Emma
that sounds absolutely perfect but what about the kids

Brandon
we can ask Nick' mom to watch them since she's in

Emma
Oh no I dont want to bother her

Brandon
Emma you have to remember that she is their grandmom and she has no problem watching them. she knows what's going on and will love all of you no matter what

Emma
ok fine

Brandon
perfect, party tomorrow at the PM house

I rolled my eyes of course he wants to throw a party. They always want to throw a party. Now I have to post more about the album so I guess it's time to look into the future. This is going to open a new chapter.

I am going to try to do better. I know I can. For my kids, for my friends, for my parents, for Charlotte, for Nick. For me.