Love for a thug (Unedited)

redos?

  

    (Carter p.o.v)

   Its been almost a month since I've last spoken to Sydney or Terrance I've been in rehab I'm in for alcohol I never really even drink truth is saying I have an alcohol problem is just like my killing people problem in a way.

We all sat in a circle it was almost my turn to speak I was nervous. "Thank you Darren alright carter your next"

"Hello everybody I'm Carter and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi carter" everyone said in usion

"Hello well I fell off the bandwagon the sad thing is about two months ago I could've ki- I mean I could've drank some alcohol I was offered but I turned it down but this time around it was different I was hurt and confused and just angry so I drank when I drank I felt num I felt good I enjoyed it."

Little did they know I was talking about the high I got off killing, " Thank you for sharing I won't you to stay after for some one on one time please." Dr Carson said. I nodded in response

After 56 more minutes of everyone else telling they're stories of what triggered them it was finally time to leave  I got up walking out but was quickly called back in "Carter where do you think your going?"

"Oh I'm sorry Dr. Carson I forgot."

"Have a seat." I did as told "I wanna go deeper into your story is it okay that I ask a few questions?"

"Um yes I guess I'll be coo with that."  I said making my self comfortable

"Well can you tell me about your mother what was she like?"

"My mom was a nice beautiful lady she always went out her way to provide for me and my brother Kev. She was warmed hearted she could have a temper but was always my rock, That is untill she was murdered when I was 10 years old every since that day I haven't been right."

"I'm so sorry about that."

"Its fine I'm doing much better."

"That you are can I ask about your brother kev how is he doing?"

"Well my brother Kev actually died when I was 16 he had just turned 15 when he had died we were only a year apart my mom got pregnant again right after she had me I loved him he was my brother as kids I got him into some trouble I could've prevented the things that happen to him it replays in my mind every second of every minute I hate it."

"What exactly did you get him into."

"I got him into selling drugs and its what got him killed" I said trying hard to not let this tear fall from my eye but it feel anyway causing me to wipe it away

" You made a mistake everyone makes a mistake I can't sit here and say I haven't made any because I have you gotta let it go he'll always be with you same with your mom you've punished yourself long enough you've drank alcohol anything to num the pain cover up the fact that you feel lonely your hurt you've been hurting for some time now you act out I understand you I've seen many like you I'm here to tell you to stop just stop the drinking stop covering up your feelings stop bottling things up its not healthy say what you feel right now scream it scream it loud."

"SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA FUCKING DIE I WANT MY MOM AND MY BROTHER BACK AND IT KILLS ME I CANT BRING THEM BACK THEYRE GONE NEVER COMING BACK!" I cried " I got to let them go I got to let them go I got to." I cried  Dr Carson got up and hugged me

I got to let em go.

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