Meant to be

Chapter 16-Mark

It's good to be back. honestly I missed holding a scalpel and slicing someone open, then fixing whatever happens to be wrong with them. It really clears my head and helps me think, unfortunately ever since I found out that I'm once again going to be a father, my mind has been less then clear.

As I stand in the scrubbing room cleansing my hands after a very successful breast enhancement Lexie walks in through the O.R. doors. "You were in there?" I say surprised, I had no idea she was sitting in on the surgery, although I'm not sure i would have heard her if she said something to me. I was busy in my own head thinking about the future.

She shrugs her shoulders and takes her cap and mask off. "not for all of it. but I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.." she says with a hint of concern on her face.

"Of course I am" I crack a smile but it doesn't feel right. I know perfectly well why she's here. There was a massive trauma here a couple days ago. Severe burns and a lot of casualties. too many. I couldn't handle it.

I slip on a pair of gloves and head into trauma room two. I push the door open with Lexie close behind. I study the victim. severe burns covering her body and a gash along her arm. She has dirt over most of her body. I step to the side of her and begin examining the burns closer. "what do we have?"
The room is pretty full with the interns, doctors and paramedics. Also loud so I have to speak up.

One of the paramedics speaks up, a woman. " 34 year old female first second and third degree burns all over her body, laceration to her left radius and severe smoke inhalation"

I nod and slightly see Lexie move to the other side of the table already working on the burns.
I pull back a bandage revealing a long burn that reaches from his abdomen to his shoulder. One of the interns covers her mouth at the sight and runs out of the room. I sigh and focus on treating the burns so when he wakes up he'll still have salvageable skin.

I don't know how much time has gone by but he suddenly wakes up, gasping for air because of the smoke. Pain spreads across his face and tears immediately fill his eyes as he cries out in agonizing pain. and suddenly, I don't see a suffering man in pain who could die any minute. I see Lexie, trapped under the wing of the airplane, fighting for her life and all I can do is watch. I hear her calling my name
"Mark, Mark! Doctor Sloan!"
I realize that Lexies across the table yelling at me, I can see the concern in her eyes. Why do I hear a high pitched- oh no oh no god no. I look at the monitor, where there was once a steady rhythm is now a straight line. I can feel my jaw falling. I look back at Lexie. How could I have let this happen!

But that was two days ago. now I'm in the scrub room with Lexie.

"It's not gonna happen again" I say as the water turns off and I shake the water off of my hands.

"I know I just think..maybe you should take it easy" she says as she plays with the cap and mask in her hands.

"I am Lexie" I say with a confused smile "I just spent the last few hours giving a woman a big rack" I see her flinch lightly.
"So if that's not taking it easy Lexie I don't know what is"

"I know I know" she says as she crosses over to my left and throws away the cap and mask.
"I just think.. maybe" she turns to me "You should take some time off. Maybe spend some time with Sophia, or Derek"

I almost yell at her "I just took months off. I don't need to go home. I need to be here Lexie. Saving lives and giving people hope. I can go down to the daycare when I'm not busy and see Sophia, and Derek's always has his arm linked with mine trying to make sure I'm okay. which I am, Lex" I say starting out a bit harsh but ending softer. I put my hands on her shoulders and look at her. How did I get so lucky?

She lets out a small sigh and can't help but smile a little bit "Okay. but you have to be careful, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you again because I couldn't get you to go home"

I pull her close and wrap my arms around her. "Nothing's going to happen to me Lexie" I won't let her go through what I did.

I feel her smaller arms hug me back in return and I allow myself to smile, because for right now Lexie's safe. She's healthy, the baby's healthy she's happy, with me and were all okay.

We're interrupted by the beeping of her pager. she reaches into her pocket and pulls it out, looking at it still enclosed in my arms. I feel her heave out a sigh "It's Derek, I gotta go"

I open up my arms and let her step back. she shoves the pager back into her pocket and stands on her toes and gives me a kiss. Our lips are only together for a short amount of time before she pulls back and smiles at me "I'll see you for lunch?"

I nod "Absolutely" I smile, because when I see her smiling now all I want to do is share that same happiness. she turns around and walks out the door. I throw away the towel and leave as well. I head to the desk to sign a couple of discharge charts. I get there and open the chart up. I look up as I hear Owen
"Dr. Sloan"

I take out my pen and click it open "Dr. Hunt" I say as I sign my name on the line.

"How are you feeling?" he asks curiously

"I'm fine" I look up at him "What happened before won't happen again" I say trying to reassure him. he presses his lips together

"Well you can't always save a life Mark. Sometimes it's just their time to go, but when you can prevent it. Do or suffer the consequences"

"I'm guessing your not saying that because someone died, but because it's not good for the hospital" I close the chart.

He sighs and leans up against the counter "Im the chief of surgery. Unless it's my patient I'm supposed to think of the hospital, it sucks but that's the way it is. Your a good Doctor, Sloan. You can come back from this"

He starts walking away and he claps his hand on my shoulder. I watch him as he walks to the elevators "What's that supposed to mean? I have nothing to come back from"

"Oh and congratulations on the baby Dr. Sloan!" he says before he gets on the elevator smiling.

I sigh and open up another chart.
I have a feeling I'll be hearing that a lot. Who told him anyways? I sign the right places and fold it back down. I hand it to a nurse and start walking. I don't want the whole hospital to know about it just yet, I have to go find Lexie and see who she told. knowing her it's probably everyone she's talked to today. I look at my watch and see I still have about seven hours til my next surgery. Good. That'll give me time to prepare, I'm doing a nerve graft. it's a fairly simple one but that doesn't mean it's not complicated. I turn down another hall and head to Neuro.