Forgotten (NNS #1) (EDITING)

Kabanata 32

Kabanata 32

Not now

Days passed, and before I was discharged, I need to undergo some tests, then they can finally let me go. Natapos naman 'yon at hinihintay nalang ang result. I'm still staying in my condo, even thought what happened affected me really bad. Hindi rin naman ako inalok ng pamilya ko na sa bahay muna, kaya hindi ko na rin sinabi.

Everything I remembered hurt me really bad, but what hurts the most is the fact that the one I forced to remember is also the reason why I wrecked my own heart. It's like the pain I once felt came back with stronger intensity and it's almost making me forget my own sake. I'm hurting for something that made me happy before. 'Yong kahit pilitin kong hindi isipin, pilitin kong iwaksi, patuloy na bumabalik ang bawat kirot, bawat pagyakap sa sakit, bawat pilit na pagtanggap sa mga binabatong alaala. Hindi ko lalo maiwasan ngayong malayo siya.

May usapan ngayon ang Esunta na manonood ng isang gig nina Vladimir. Sa Tomas Morato 'yon, at gaya ng dati ay may free pass kami. Sa Route 196 sila ngayon, at ka-line up ang isa sa mga bandang paborito namin mula noon: ang Lola Amour. I watched some of their gigs before and I must say that their music is really what I love.

It took me about an hour to get ready. With a bandana print halter top in black, and a high waist faded jeans, I drove my way to Route 196. No one will pick me up since Gian is not here, and even though he is, I don't think I can ride with him.

As I drive through the establishments of Manila, the engrossed feeling stayed with me. The coldness of being alone shivered down my spine, making me crave for a companion. Pinilit kong hindi indahin 'yon at nagpatuloy sa pagmamaneho.

Nang makarating ako, natanawan ko na sina Herman, Daryl, Valerie at Ariadne. Napangiti ako at kinapa ang bag para kuhanin ang free pass. Agad gumapang ang kaba sa sistema ko nang hindi ko maramdaman ang papel na hinahanap ko. I stepped away to let others walk their way inside so that I won't block the entrance. I almost turned my bag upside down but the pass won't show itself. My eyes widened when I realized something. I left my free pass above my drawer!

I face palmed and tried to reach my phone to call one of my friends. Lumayo muna ako dahil mahina ang signal sa entrance. Hindi sila sumasagot, dahilan para mapagtanto ko na maaring wala ring signal sa loob ng venue. After my last attempt to call them, nanatili muna ako sa parking lot habang pinagmamasdan ang ilaw ng bawat imprastrakturang nakapalibot sa pinaroroonan ko.

If a shooting star would fall from the sky, I would ask them to heal my wounded heart like a light bulb. You can use all you want, hurt all you want by never bothering to turn it off; but as soon as you killed the connection between it's socket and the power button, it will rest eventually and recover faster than you could ever expect. The only disadvantage of it is that once you use it again, the pain will come back.

I felt the same shiver of loneliness. The cold wind hugged me, making me tremble, making me crave for hotness. Nakasandal ako sa gilid ng kotse ko, nang dumating ang sasakyang kilalang kilala ko. The oh-so-familiar range rover feed my eyes, and I couldn't do anything to walk away from it. Sa libreng espasyo sa harap ko ito pumarada, bago niya pinatay ang makina at bumaba.

For the first time in the span of a month, I saw him again. He's wearing his usual corporate attire. Walang masyadong nagbago sa kaniya, bukod sa eyebags at balbas na hindi na-shave. With the said beard, he looked more handsome than before. Tinitigan ko ang bawat detalye niya, at hindi makakatakas sa akin ang malamig na ekspresyon ng kanyang mata.