Forgotten (NNS #1) (EDITING)

Kabanata 2

Kabanata 2

Enough

"Sapphire!" tawag ng isang boses.

Nandito kami sa bar dahil birthday ng isa naming kaibigan, si Rina. Nagpasya ang Esunta na dumalo dahil halos lahat kami ay naging matalik na kaibigan niya. Lumingon ako sa isang boses ngunit hindi ko maaninag ang mukha niya.

Ngumiti ako. Nagbanggit ng pangalan, ngunit hindi marinig.

"Tara na sa table, hinihintay na nila tayo," saad ng boses na malapit, dinig ang saya sa boses.

"Sige, love," saad ko, puno ng kasiyahan at pagmamahal.

"Wake up, Sapphire!" a voice from a guy said. Doon ako nagising.

Dinilat ko ang mga mata at hinabol ang hininga. Bumungad sa'kin sina Dave, Vladimir, at Herman. Bakas ang pag-aalala sa mukha nilang lahat. Lumapit si Daryl. Dala niya ang isang basong tubig na agad binigay sa akin, na siyang tinanggap ko. Ininom ko iyon at huminga ng malalim. Kumalma kaming lahat kung kaya't nagpasya akong magtanong.

"Gaano katagal akong tulog?" mapait na tanong ko. Gaano katagal niyo akong lolokohin?

"4 hours," sagot ni Daryl.

Tumango ako, wala ng kinausap pa sa kanila.
Tumikhim si Herman. Lumingon kaming lahat sa kaniya.

"Nagugutom ka ba? Nauuhaw? Giniginaw? At hindi makagalaw?" aniya. Doon ako napatawa.

"Nahihirapan ang pusong pinipilit ay ikaw?" dugtong ko sa sinabi niya. Tumawa sila.

"Hindi mo nakalimutan, ah," bati ni Herman, at agad napamura ng matanto ang sinabi.

Ngumiti ako nang mapait. "Yung Gian lang naman ang nakalimutan ko, eh."

Lahat sila ay nagulat sa sinabi ko.

"A-alam mo?" tanong ni Vlad. Napangiti akong muli.

"Oh, sana hindi mo muna inamin. Sana niloko niyo muna ako ng matagal," tawa ko ngunit walang bakas ng saya. Doon nila nahigit ang kanilang mga hininga. Guilty, huh?

"We're sorry, Sapphire. Hindi naman namin intensyong itago sa'yo, eh," ani Dave.

Tumango ako, dala pa rin ang ngiting mapait.

"Alam ko. Kanina niyo lang din naman nalaman, 'di ba? Nung dumating lang yung Gian? Nung kinausap lang kayo nina Mommy. Nung nagpasya lang kayong itago kasi baka pilitin kong alalahanin yung lalaking 'yon. Nung sinabi lang ni Daddy na mahal na mahal daw ako nung Gian, at hindi sinasadyang saktan," buong hinanakit kong sumbat sa kanila, "So now, can you just please, give me a fucking piece of information about him, and I promise, I'll let time to pass by for me to remember him, or no if I never will," I finished, with a blurry sight.

Natigilan sila at tila ba nag-iisip.

A while ago, when I asked them about the guy named Gian, they told me the lamest reason of all times.

"Si Gian ba? Uhm, nakilala lang namin siya noong Grade 9 kami, 'di ba nagkahiwalay tayo ng section noon? 'Yon, tama, tsaka namali lang siya ng room na pinasok. Sa kabilang room pala yung dadalawin niya," Ariadne said.

Oh girl, please, lie better!

Contradicting on what's in my mind, I smiled. "Okay. Pakisabi na sana gumaling na yung dinalaw niya."

Tumango sila at pinainom akong muli ng tubig. After that, unti-unti silang umalis hanggang sa ang tatlong lalaki nalang ang natira. Doon ako hinila ng antok dahil wala ni isa sa amin ang kumibo.

"Si Gian, naging kaibigan mo siya noong lumipat ka sa Shekinah," panimula ni Herman, "Close na close kayo no'n, kaya nagkagusto ka sa kaniya. And scratch that, you already loved him that time. Kinwento mo 'yon sa akin noon, kung anong mga bagay ang ginawa mo para lamang mapansin, maka-usap, at mapalapit sa kanya.

You also told me that you started liking him no'ng sinumbong niya sa'yo ang pag-irap ni Sheena habang hindi ka nakatingin. You said na after that, nagsimula na siyang tumabi-tabi sa'yo, na napansin din namin. Imagine, you were only Grade 5 when you started thinking about those things. Though I can't blame you because we knew that you were looking for that kind of attention and affection from someone that time," dugtong na kwento niya.

My head throbbed but the pain was bearable. The unexpectable thing is, my heart throbbed, too. I respite for the following words in order to feel the pain all at the same time. Just once. Only once. Well, at least that's what I think.

I would never forget the time that I told them about what happened to my previous school, making me transfer to Grace of Shekinah School. I was left behind. I was eaten by darkness. I was so alone, so lonely, even though I have my family with me. I was so sad that even my favorite food, favorite person, favorite song, and favorite book can't cheer me up.

"You never told him that you liked him. Still. Kaya you became close to each other even more. That's when his first girlfriend, Janella, entered the fucking scene. Doon kayo nag umpisang maglabo at medyo mawalan ng komunikasyon," aniya. Siya ang nagkukwento dahil si Daryl at Vladimir ay naging kaklase lamang namin noong Grade 7 kami.

He already had a girlfriend before me? How many? Did I really coped up with it, knowing that I liked him way back (or even until now if my memories were never gone)?

"Go on," I said, after his long pause.

Tumango siya. "However, you still tried to cope up with him. Kahit pa naaalala ka lang niya kapag nag-aaway sila ni Janella, okay lang sa'yo. Kahit pa kinakausap ka lang niya kapag nanghihingi siya ng advice, okay lang sa'yo. Ganon mo siya kamahal."

"Minahal, Herman. Tapos na," Dave said. The latter shrugged.

"Oh, and damn it, bago ko makalimutan, you even made his 1st monthsary message for Janella. Imagine, you loved him that much? You loved him to the point that you let yourself be broke, just for him to be happy and to fulfill his responsibility to his girlfriend, who is not you," doon ko siya pinatigil.

I never thought I was capable of loving that way. I never thought that I can do such things, even though I love someone to much. Maybe he's the reason why I lost my memories. Maybe the reason why I lost myself.

"Enough, Herman," Tumango siya, ngunit agad rumehistro sa mukha ang pag-aalala nang makita ang ekspresyon ko.

My head fucking hurts. I want to elaborate everything, but my mind can't take it. I want to know every damn detail, but whenever I will try, the pain grows stronger and stronger, until darkness covered the whole room.
Everything went black, and my vision disappeared. I passed out.