accomplice | ethan dolan

fourteen

jade

"zack i'm home!" i yell coming into my house with ethan.

"kitchen!" he yells back.

i stayed in ethan's last night and i'm only coming home now, a little after 10pm.

"what's going on?" i ask confused when i find grayson and noah with zack in the kitchen.

"noah has an idea" grayson mutters, "and zack thinks it's a good one"

"what is it?" ethan asks.

"he wants us to rob a diner" grayson scoffs, clearly hating his idea.

"why a diner?" i ask.

"because there's money being laundered in it by the changretta family" noah states.

"you want to piss off a mafia noah, seriously?" i look at him in disbelief.

"it's a good idea, we'll make a lot of money" he defends himself.

"we'll get ourselves killed! they're a fucking mafia" i look at ethan for help.

"jade's right. this is a bad idea" he agrees with me.

"i don't think we should do it either" grayson adds.

"we're doing it" zack states.

"you really want to piss a mafia off?" i scoff.

"no one's forcing you to come" he retorts, "sit this one out if you want"

my mind is screaming at me to say i don't want to do it but then my heart starts beating a little faster when i imagine the thrill of it.

"no. i want to come" i blurt.

"we'll take turns watching the place to find out what days and times the family members visit it. once we know they won't be there, we'll hit it" zack explains.

"this is a big mistake" ethan mutters.

"you're just a bitch" noah smirks. ethan, grayson and i glare at him.

-

"hey, can i talk to you for a second?" noah asks, joining me in my backyard.

"sure, you okay?" i can't help worrying about him.

he takes a seat on other end of the bench i'm sat on and lights a cigarette.

"i'm fine" he nods, "where's ethan?"

"in the shower" i shrug.

"good. i'm finally allowed talk to you" he scoffs.

"you're always allowed talk to me" i tell him.

"not when ethan's around"

"did he tell you that?" i ask getting slightly annoyed.

"he doesn't have to, he-"

"don't try and create a problem" i cut him off, "what did you want to talk about?"

"i wanted to apologise" he sighs.

"what did you do?"

"i was a really shit boyfriend" he reminds me.

"noah, you don't have to-"

"i want to" he assures me, "i never knew how lucky i was to have you until i lost you and i just wanted to say i'm sorry for the shit i've put you through"

"thank you" i smile. i really appreciate it.

"i was a shit boyfriend and i didn't deserve you. i should have made you happy, but i put you through hell and i know that now. i'm so sorry, for everything" he says, sounding sincere.

"you were my best friend noah, of course you made me happy. our relationship put the both of us through hell and i'm not letting you take all of the blame for it, but it means a lot that you apologised"

"you're the love of my life jade, i really wish we could have made it work but i know that it's my fault we didn't. i loved you so much- i still do, i always will. i hope you know that"

"noah" i sigh.

"i know, i shouldn't be telling you this now because we're broken up and you have a boyfriend but-"

"ethan's not my boyfriend" i correct him.

"well whatever he is, i'm not trying to ruin it. i just needed you to know how sorry i am and of course i'll always love you. i get jealous sometimes and say shit i don't mean, but i really do want the best for you"

"i want the best for you too"

"anyways, i'll leave you alone again" he says putting out his smoke before standing up, "but i'm always here for you jade, don't forget that" he places a hand on my shoulder before going inside.

fuck. that just brought back a lot of old feelings i thought i was over.

i feel like i just had a conversation with the old noah, the boy i fell in love with. he was always so loving and gentle at the start of our relationship, just like he was during that conversation.

i get completely lost in my own thoughts, reminiscing on my relationship with noah, until i feel a drop of rain land in my hair.

but then it reminds me of my first date with noah. it was in his backyard, where he set up a picnic for us. it was the most amazing day, even though it rained.

he used to be so romantic, i don't know how we got here.

i go back inside as the rain gets heavier and find ethan in my bedroom.

"are you okay?" he asks as i get into bed beside him.

"yeah. why wouldn't i be?"

"i'm just making sure" he whispers before leaning in to kiss me but i pull away.

"i'm really tired" i mutter turning my lamp off and rolling on to my side, sleeping with my back facing ethan.

i don't know what's wrong with me. i was so happy with ethan, things were going so well for us but something feels different now.

i feel guilty.

i cheated on noah with ethan but promised that nothing ever happened. i blamed noah for our relationship ending, but it was my fault too.

now i'm starting to realise, i miss noah.