Sickened Mind

Chapter 14

"Hey-"

Keith froze up slightly, like a deer in headlights. "Uh- h.. hey-"

An awkward silence filled the air. Keith ran a hand through his hair and looked down, not sure how obvious it was that he had been crying. Though Lance could see it. Even through those solid yellow eyes, he could see the pain, though he was afraid to act on it. He wasn't afraid of what Keith would do or say, he just simply didn't want to make him even more sad than he obviously is. So, he went another route.

"C'mon Mullet, you've been gone forever." He pulled a smile for Keith as he waved his hand for Keith to follow.

Keith never could really understand Lance. He couldn't figure out how he could manage a smile every day. How even in the darkest of times he could crack a joke and make everyone smile. What baffled him even more, was how Lance could deal with his own rejection twords Lance. And the fact that even now, Lance tries so hard to make him smile, whether he felt like it or not. It was.. oh what's the word.. Nice? No- that's too small. Cool? No.. too lazy. It was Amazing. Yes, that's it, Amazing. He's Amazing.

"So what's it like?"

Keith popped back to reality. Him and Lance were slowly making their way to the training deck.

"Huh?"

"You know," Lance stopped walking, Keith did too and turned to face Lance. " when you change. What's it like?"

Keith looked down slightly. "Honestly, I don't remember a lot of it." He looked up at Lance who didn't seem satisfied with his answer. So he continues. "When.. I get angry and change.. its.. it's like a blind rage. Like in the heat of battle, all you know is that your swinging hard and giving your all, but none of the details pop out. It's like that but.. different." he looked at Lance again, who now looked quite confused. Keith sighed. "Look, it's hard to explain. I remember why I got mad, I remember small things I did, basic stuff. Like when we got back, I remember attacking.. someone.." his voice softened from the frustration of explaining this. "When you told me about what I did, the memory came back.. slightly.. but it was all fogged and.. messy. And all over the place."

Lance nodded as Keith continued. "Like with this-" he pointed to his missing fang. "I didn't remember any of it until you told me. Then bits and pieces came back." Keith leaned against the wall, arms crossed.

"What about waking up changed?" Lance asked, genuinely curious.

"Its like a dream. Those very.. small dreams. Those dreams that you remember happening but you can't remember much of anything about it, only small things. Like losing a tooth."

Lance let out a small chuckle, which earned a smile from Keith. Lance knew that even though Keith smiled, he was still hurting.

"Hey, Keith?"

"Yea?" Keith looked up, ears high and listening.

"Can I ask you a serious questions." Lance avoided eye contact.

"Uhm.. sure." He agreed hesitantly.

"You have to answer honestly-"

"Ok.." he hesitated. "I will."

"Promise you will?"

"Lance- what is it-?" Annoyance began building.

Lance looked Keith in the eye and took a few steps closer to him.

"Are you really ok?"

This, was shocking. It was the most soothing voice he had ever herd. It was so calm and collected, but laced with concern and love. It was so serious and firm too. Lance was still taller then Keith, despite their age difference, and with Keith slouching against the wall, he had to look up to meet his eyes. It was as if talking to a parent, or a brother or a... someone else. A very protective.. someone else. Something about the way Lance asked that question sparked so many different responses and emotions that became painfull to hold back.