𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

the space between us

Benji's POV:

I seriously couldn't be more proud of Jorge for facing his mom. He didn't care to share the exact details of his encounter, but I don't mind. What's important is that he got his clothes and that we're on our way back to my house.

I wonder if he thinks of my house as home.

When he first came to stay with us, my parents really weren't too keen on the idea of another teenage boy in the house. But I can tell my mom is growing attached to Jorge. Honestly, who couldn't? For one thing, he's absolutely adorable to look at- With his perfect curls and his cute little nose. For another, he's the ideal houseguest. Always so quiet and never asking for anything.

I'm honestly not sure if he's going to get to stay with us permanently. But every part of me hopes that he can.

It's around eight o'clock when we get home. The house is still and quiet, meaning my parents must've retired to their bedroom already.

"Want to watch some TV?" Jey suggests.

"Yeah!" I agree. "Let's grab some blankets."

We pad up the staircase, my parents probably able to hear the dull, steady sound of our footsteps. I raise a finger to lips, Jey and I shushing each other jokingly. Creeping into my room, we each leave bearing handfuls of soft pillows and plush, heavy blankets. Balanced carefully above his heap of bedding sits Jey's bear. The sight of the fuzzy little thing brings a smile to face. I had such a good time with Jey, today.

We set up our pillows and spread the blankets across ourselves. I hog most of the comforter, but Jey doesn't seem to mind. In fact, as I browse through the movie options on Netflix, he doesn't seem to be paying any attention at all. His gaze is fixed on the bear in his lap. He runs his fingers through its wavy favy fur.

I sigh, longing for Jey. I promised him that I would be here for him through it all. And I still mean that. But it's hard to imagine what other couples get to do, that I can't with Jey.

I fix my attention back on the screen. There's a few movies I want to watch. A certain indie film catches my eye.

"How about this?" I ask, wanting Jey's input.

He snaps his head up, acting as though he'd been paying attention the whole time. The corners of my mouth turn as I watch his eyes dart back and forth, reading the synopsis.

"That looks good." He agrees, nodding in my direction.

I press play, and try to focus on the film. But mind keeps wandering back to Jey- specifically the space between us.

As if reading my mind, he slowly shifts closer to me. It's subtle, only our knees knocking. But the simple closeness sends a shiver coursing through my body.

When I'm sure he's focused on the movie, I dare to steal a few glances at him. The room is dark, causing the glow of the TV screen to illuminate half of his face. I watch the reflection of the film dance across his pupils. How could one human being be so...

Perfect.

I mentally curse myself for all of these mushy thoughts, that even Jey is quite obviously not having.

Or, so I thought. As the movie continues, Jey inches nearer to me. I don't even fully notice, until I feel his elbow bump into mine.

"Sorry." He whispers, shyly, beginning to scramble away from me.

My heart drops at the idea of him returning back to the other end of the sofa, after all of the time it had taken for him to get this close. We were really making progress.

"I-I don't mind." My mouth turns into a half-smile

Jey's muscles relax, and he sinks into the couch, next to me. Our thighs are touching, which for some reason makes my heart race a little.

God, I really am being starved of affection.

Jey's hands rub soft circles against the bear's paw. My heart warms upon seeing that, and I casually move my arm so that my hand is in Jey's eyeshot. Okay, maybe it wasn't too casual. I might've been totally asking for it. It's just challenging for me to not be able to take the lead in everything. If it were up to me, I'd grab Jey by the waist and have him on my lap right now.

But I remind myself to be patient. With me and Jey taking things so slowly, I'm able to appreciate the soft, little moments that we share.

So that's why, when Jey docilely slides his cool hand beneath mine, it brings tears to my eyes. I hold them back, of course, but I'm actively aware of the salty liquid pooling up, blurring my vision. The movie becomes a bright, hazy mix of shining color, but I don't dare move my hand in an attempt to wipe the tears away.

It's in this moment that I realize fully, for the first time, how happy I am to be here for my Jey. I can't bear the idea of him being with the wrong person, who might be too harsh or forceful with him.

It might sound kind of selfish, but it makes my heart skip knowing that I'm the only person he feels safe enough to touch. Even if our contact is just occasional and bashfully shy, it's more than anyone else receives from him.

As the night grows longer, my eyelids start to feel heavy. By now, Jey has pushed himself onto me, his head resting on my chest, and a leg thrown carelessly over mine. Our fingers are still laced together. Studying Jey more closely, I notice his chest rising and falling steadily. He must've fallen asleep sometime during the night. It was hard to notice his eyes shut in the dark.

Using my free hand, I pick up the remote and turn off the movie. The sudden silence causes Jey to stir a little, but he stays asleep, his warm body pressed against mine.

Too tired to get up, I allow my eyes to shut. I promise myself that I'll only rest for a minute, and then go upstairs. But the temptation of sleep dangling in front of me is much too promising to ignore. And besides, I'd hate to wake up Jey in this vulnerable state. He tends to get frightened when he finds himself this close to me. Eventually I fade out of consciousness, a dark and comfortable sleep enveloping me.

I can only begin to imagine what went through my parents' minds when they found me and Jey curled up together on the couch the next morning.