𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

everybody talks too much

To be completely honest, I don't
fully understand why I'm so mad at Benji. I left his house on Saturday, and spent all of Sunday alone. It's now Monday, and I don't plan to talk to him at school.

I guess I just can't stand the idea of being something he hides. His dirty secret. The stain on his clean reputation.

I care about Benji. When I thought he was in danger, I was by his side immediately. I just want to stand on the rooftops and tell everyone how in love I am. So it hurts me when he doesn't want to hold my hand in public. And I hate that he's scared to kiss me. It's all so painful and unfair that I just don't want to talk to Benji. So I won't.

I shut my locker and walk to first period alone. I keep my head down as I sit by myself, not wanting to meet Benji's gaze when he comes in. But once the bell rings, I look up.

Benji's sitting with Caleb, and on the other side of the table sits Antonio, Cayman, and Addy. There's an obvious rift between the group.

Benji tries to get my attention with a shy wave. My heart skips a beat, but I scowl on the outside.

Just ignore him.

The class drags on, however I hardly focus on the lesson. All I can think about is Benji. Our moment in the guest room. Our second kiss. Cuddling on his couch. Am I seriously throwing all of that away, just because he won't hold my hand?

I feel bad for Benji when I consider how he must feel. I kissed him at the party. Now most of his friends hate him, and I'm not even talking to him.

What am I doing?

But it's too late to undo everything. I've been ignoring him since Saturday.

The bell rings, shaking me from my thoughts. As I walk out of the classroom, Benji grabs me by the shoulder.

"Jorge, can we talk?" Benji pleads.

"I need to get to my next class, Benji." I shake him off of me, still trying to avoid making eye contact with him.

"We can skip." He starts pulling me down the hallway.

I try to jerk away, but his grip on my wrist is too strong.

"What are you doing?" I snap.

He pulls me into the gym supply closet and shuts the door. It smells like soccer balls and mesothelioma.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" I flip on the lights.

"Why won't you talk to me?" Benji asks. He leans on the wall with his arms crossed against his chest.

I hesitate, and he slides down the wall to sit down. I join him on the floor and look at my lap.

I remember my reasoning in first hour. I don't want to be mad at him anymore.

"I- I don't know." I admit. "It's just, I feel like you don't actually like me. Or- That you do like me, but you don't want everyone to know that you like me." I try to explain, not really getting my point across.

"Jorge. I like you a lot. And if things were different, I would tell everyone-"

"That's just the thing, Benji," My voice cracks, "You need things to be different. I would tell everyone about us right now if you would let me."

Benji meets my gaze.

"If it means I get to keep you" He pauses and takes a deep breath, "I'll start working on coming out to people. I just need some patience on your end."

"Practice." I look Benji in the eyes.

"What?" He asks, eyes darting around the closet.

"Tell me you're bi."

"Oh- I don't know. I mean, yeah I like girls and guys, but does it need a label? Because like-" He rambles, dodging the matter at hand.

"Benji. If you can't say it to me, you're definitely not going to be able to say it to anyone else." I say, moving closer to him.

Benji looks nervously at the ground.

"I know you can do it." I whisper, bringing my face inches from his.

"Jorge," He murmurs, his hues staring into mine.

"Yes?" I breathe.

The tension between us mounts as Benji's breath hitches.

"I'm bi."

His lips press into mine, pushing me against the closet wall. He slows down a little, realizing his roughness, and gently bites down on my lip. The feeling makes me moan, and his tongue enters my mouth for the first time. It only increases the pleasure of our kiss.

Hands on each other's faces, I never want to pull away from Benji. We stay like that for a while, more than happy to enjoy each other.

Benji and I are still locked at the mouth when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I start to pull out of the kiss, which makes Benji groan in distaste.

It's a text from Syd.

where are u?

Benji looks at me, cocking his head. "What is it?"

"Just a text from Syd." I reply.

Before I can tell him that we're skipping, he sends another text.

everyone is talking ab u and benji krol

Benji reads the text over my shoulder and his face drops.

"Ask him what they're saying." Benji demands, nervously.

I type the text to Syd and we wait for a response. Benji runs his hands through his hair, nervously.

"Don't worry so much, Benji. Just do what we practiced." I say with a smirk.

"I know, I know. I was just hoping to have a little more time to get ready for this." He mumbles.

After a bit of a pause, we get a response from Syd.

that u guys are skipping together. and that u fucked in the guest room.

I roll my eyes.

We never did that!!! I text back.

"Should we head back now and get a tardy, or just miss the rest of the period?" Benji asks, looking at the time.

"We only have 15 minutes left until the bell rings. Let's just wait until 3rd period." I decide.

Benji just nods, staring at the wall in front of him. He looks like he's about to throw up.

I try to comfort him. "I know you're scared. But no matter what they say, you're not any less of a person for liking boys."

He chews on his lip.

Poor Benji.

I squeeze his hand. My feelings for Benji could withstand than any of their words.

I just hope that Benji's can, too.