NAFAELLA

chapter 8

Kyle only spend 2 nights with me. Dalam masa 2 malam tu la saya asyik menangis. I was happy he was here. He show me an effort. He make me feel that its worth it waiting for him.

He shower me with his promises again. Dia minta saya tunggu sikit masa seja lagi. When the time comes, he will divorce Katryn and he will be with me again. Just like old times. Masa tu saya kena tinggalkan Oscar. Dah beberapa tahun ni dia balik2 bilang menyesal kasi kenal Oscar sama saya. Debilang setiap kali Oscar suda jumpa saya, macam sengaja si Oscar kasi dekat2 tunjuk hickey yang saya buat.

"Sometimes i feel like ripping his chest skin off.. I hate to see your name writen on his chest.."ayat yabg Kyle selalu sebut bila kami bersama. Ketara dia mimang nda suka sama Oscar.

Selepas Kyle balik ke Oregon, saya terus on call sama Oscar. I know this is not fair for him but i am so full of love for Kyle. Saya nda bulih mau terus menipu diri sendiri.

I remember well what i said to him that day that it breaks his heart. I regret it!

📞Hey babe.. Whats up? Its fucking 4.45am here..

📞I'm sorry for bothering u this early but i need to say what i need to say..

📞woaa.. This sounds fucking serious.. Can't it wait?

📞No.. It can't..

📞Neffy.. I know what u're gonna say.. I'm just not ready to hear it.. I don't want too..

📞What do u mean u knew?

📞I know everything about u Neffy.. No matter how much it kills me inside, i am not turning my fucking backs on u.. No matter how far we are, i still have my eyes on u..

📞are u a fucking stalker?

📞No.. I'm not.. Just... Put down the fucking phone.. I'll call u when i'm damn ready to hear those words..

📞No.. Oscar.. I wanna break up.. For real.. Go and get married with someone else.. Forget about me.. I.. I am still waiting for him..

📞Fuck Neffy! Fuck! Can't u just respect my wishes for once! Just this once ..

Saya terdiam.

Dia tau semua tentang saya. Dia tau semua kecurangan saya tapi dia hanya diam selama ini. Dia tau yang saya masih in contact dengan Kyle tapi dia diam. How much he has to suffer? Bila saya dapat tau semua ni makinn membuatkan saya mau tinggalkan Oscar. Saya nda berhak bersama dia. He might look like a fucking demon from his appearance but he is a damn angel inside. I can't be selfish! I can't continue this.

Saya terus letak tu call. Saya kejam betul ba kan?

Saya call Jordan pula selang beberapa jam lepas saya bercakap sama Oscar. Jordan ialah keyboardist si Oscar. Dengan dia la saya selalu tanya apa2 yag berkaitan dengan Oscar. 

Jordan cerita sama saya yang Oscar mimang tau selama ini tapi dia berdiam diri seja. Kadangkala jika mabuk baru la terkeluar semua apa yang dia pendamkan. Sebab tu lagu2 yang Oscar nyanyikan mimang ada meaning yang mendalam. Cuma kebanyakan orang nda da dingar tu lagu dia kalau di sini.

Oscar never return my call. Saya anggap ja dia suda moved on selepas saya minta putus masa tu. He must be fucking mad at me. 6 months later i heard Oscar is getting married to someone. Good for him. Jordan siap suruh saya datang lagi untuk perkahwinan  Oscar. I wanted too but saya takut dia yang nda sanggup suruh saya datang. But surprisingly, Oscar text me a week later. Dia jemput saya datang ke perkahwinan dia. Dia sanggup lagi mau biaya tambang saya ke Ashford.

Saya terima juga jemputan dia. Saya pergi dengan Taro. Well, bukan banyak tetamu Asian yang kamu bulih nampak sana so saya pigi la dengan Taro sebab macam lebih selesa.