Bridge Jump (rewrite)

Chapter Twenty-two: Therapy

Austin's leg bounced as he sat in the therapist office with Lindsey. She had scheduled him an appointment with her therapist, Austin had told her not to, seeing as he didn't have health insurance and couldn't afford it out of pocket. Her reply being "just go for the free consultation, if you stay longer we'll figure it out."
He picked at his lips and cheeks, sharply pinching himself each time. He muttered a curse, he needed a smoke, bad. He ran a hand over his face rubbing at his stubble covered jaw. He looked over at Lindsey who was reading one of the office's pamphlets.

"Austin Houston."

Austin's head popped up looking at an older woman in scrubs holding open a door for him. He glanced over at Lindsey who was nodding for him to go. He sighed getting up and walking up to the woman, she smiled warmly at him. She reminded him of his mother, when she was clean. He glanced at the cross pendant on her necklace as she walked them back.

"Religious?" He asked

The woman nodded, brushing her fingers against it. A small frown on her face, quickly disappearing back to the smile, "alright-y this is his office. Have a great visit."

"You too" Austin muttered silently cursing at himself. The woman simply chuckled and walked away. He took a deep breath muttering to himself that the 14 year old out there had more balls that him. He held his breath as he knocked on the closed frost covered door. He heard a gentle come in before he opened the door pushing his head in. There was an older woman sitting in a chair across from an empty one, the walls had artwork framed. Some masterpieces, others finger paintings that looked messy but probably had some story behind it. He slowly creeped in walking towards her hand extended for her to shake.

"Austin." He smiled. The woman smiled back grasping his hand firmly before replying "Tara."

He smiled taking the seat that she ushered him too. Austin listened to her small speech about how he should feel free to talk about anything that was bothering him. He nodded listening to her before she started that he could start whenever he wanted.

He nodded thinking over what to even say. He chuckled slightly before saying, "shit, I don't even know what to say."

"Anywhere you want."

"Well I could start in the past, but I try not to look back, and I could talk about now but I don't even fucking understand anything."

"Where ever you're comfortable Austin." She smiled at him, placing a hand on his shoulder for support.

He nodded, deciding to start with his father.

"I guess my biggest problem other than myself is my problem." He sighed leaning back in the seat that was far too soft, rubbing a hand over his face. "He always pushed me and pushed me. I was 5 when he started training me to be a fighter, is that normal?"

Austin rambled on for what seemed like forever talking about his father and mother. Their dynamic, his childhood. Without even thinking about it traveling into his mother. He spoke how he was angry about her using, how she would always put the hope of them getting out and leaving her father when she was sober. He talked about the his enlistment into the military, the crazy shit he's seen and done. How he failed the psych evaluation to become a cop after he came back to civilian side when his mother died, how he never got to mourn her because he had to look out for his sister. After all that, he let out a huff of air, dropping back in the chair. He looked up at the older woman across from him. He watched as she ran the kleenex under her eyes, blowing her nose at the end.

"My god Austin, you've been carrying a lot." She sniffled.

"It's not different than many others from my part of town Tara."

"You know Austin, our stories aren't so different. Except, I was alone. I didn't have to look after anyone."

Austin nodded in understanding, uncrossing his arms. He didn't know why he was being so defensive. She wasn't attacking him. Tara let out a sigh before setting her glasses back on her nose. "so, Tell me Austin, everything bad about you?"

"I get angry easily, I can be rude, I'm not really social, I like to fight, people say I twist their words, I smoke a lot, I drink a lot, I don't always reply when people talk to me, shit, the list goes on and on." Austin gritted out as he rubbed the heels of his palms against his stinging eyes.

Tara looking at him, her head cocked to the side like that of a dog. "Sweetheart, what if I told you that those are actually some pretty good things. Minus the drinking and smoking of course."

Her last few words incited a snicker from him. He was about to ask her 'how so' when she simply handed him a slip of paper.

"Lindsey told me you wanted to keep this short, so here's everything I want to say to you. If you have any questions about them just call and ask me, okay?"

Austin nodded and stood following the woman out. Austin walked into the waiting room. Lindsey stood. She extended her hand to him, he happily took it intertwining their fingers. Her driver dropped them off at their bridge, at least that's how Austin referred to it. Their fingers still woven. Austin looked down at Lindsey, a smile spreading on his face. He lifted their hands kissing hers. Lindsey chewed in her lips, butterflies erupting in her stomach. She stopped them from walking further, Austin brows furrowed a bit he was about to ask her what was up when Lindsey grabbed his shirt pulling him down and crashing her lips against his.

"Austin I swear I don't just love you, I'm in love with you."

Austin's eyes were still closed like he was trying to memorize the feeling. She watched as they slowly opened his eyes revealing his steely blue irises. She stared at his dilated pupils as his eyes traced over her face before saying.  "I swears only ever going to be you."