THE BAT CHASE (Batwoman/Ruby Rose fanfic)

FOURTEEN (Dani POV)

"Katherine Rebecca Kane... you're so beautiful... even frowning and glaring at me angrily without trying to hide it... très belle..." Of course I'm not saying that out loud, I'm repeating those words in my mind again and again. If I dared to tell her something like that right now she'd punch me in the face... it's not like I don't deserve it. I was so stupid thinking that I could handle all this alone: saving my nephew, punishing the bad guys and getting the pretty girl like this is a Hollywood movie with a happy ending. But the truth is that I have no idea where the toddler is, the bad guys still have the upper hand and the girl barely talks to me except to tell me that her father confirmed my story calling some old friends he has in Paris police and that we'd visit my den today. I nodded, lowered my head and followed her because I can't do otherwise... I've fucked up.

It took me a while to fall asleep last night, not only because Kate's couch is really uncomfortable and it was cold despite she gave me a blanket , but because I went over the events from last weeks in my mind and I realized that everything would be different if I had made different decisions. After Winter told her to steal the necklace, Shade did a thorough investigation in order to draw her plans... She didn't know that Kate was Batwoman but she knew Colonel Kane was the boss of the Crows, a man with years of experience in the field of private security and with a successful military career under his belt... If Shade had met him discreetly and explained him what was happening, they could've reached an agreement to outsmart that crazy Winter and save the child. The white-collar thief could've met Kate openly, without subterfuges, and maybe they would've worked together and, who knows? Become friends? The beautiful woman would talk to us now instead of glaring at us with hate. And why am I thinking about Shade in third person like we're two different beings? I'm as nuts as Winter, honestly...

"This way..." I whisper shyly pointing at an alley in the area between the City Hall and Robinson Park. Actually, my den isn't far from my other apartment but the entrance isn't as beautiful: just a green metal door that leads to a small hall with chipped walls and a staircase at the back of a big building that has seen better days. Kate hesitates, staring at me suspiciously before walking in, her muscles get tensed and she seems ready to fight. Lowering my head again, I climb the stairs ahead of her feeling a bitter bile taste in my mouth, it's reasonable that she distrusts me but her reaction hurts me anyway. I've shared a bed with this woman, I've felt her falling apart in my mouth, vulnerable under my body... I'd never hurt her... unless my nephew's life was at stake. Maybe she's right and should be cautious after all, it's just that... I miss her. Kate is a wonderful woman and it's so easy to fall in love with her, I wish our circumstances were different, if only I could be just Danielle and wake up next to her every morning, have breakfast together laughing... my first serious relationship. Suddenly, I want it so bad that I feel real pain in my heart. "How did you become Batwoman?"

"That's none of your business, Shade."

Once again, her harsh tone of voice and rude words hurt me despite I deserve them. I just intended to start a conversation to forget about the memory of her sweet skin under my lips but it seems to me I won't be able to escape from my thoughts so easily. Kate's boots hit the steps behind me, she's too noisy to be a woman who spends her nights chasing criminals in the dark, and I can't help looking back over my shoulder surprised. Her scowl and clenched jaw can't ruin her flawless facial structure even if they show stubbornness and determination. Her clothes are similar to mine today: tight jeans, a grey graphic T-shirt and black leather jacket... it's nothing special but she looks prettier than ever... suddenly, my fingertips start tingling because I want to touch her and I grit my teeth before looking straight ahead again.

"One night I left a club and a traffic cop stopped me, her name was Renee and I got a speeding ticket. I liked her and we flirted, we dated and everything was perfect but a few months later we had a big fight. I was really young back then and they had just kicked me out of West Point because I refused to lie about my sexuality, I felt very proud of my choice and thought that it gave me some kind of... moral authority. I didn't understand why she hid it, why we couldn't go out for dinner with her workmates, why her boss wasn't supposed to know about it, why she was so worried about her mom's reaction..." I nod slowly, I can understand why Renee was terrified of coming out, it's the same fear I've felt my whole life. "To be honest, I understood her, but I was furious because she asked me why I wasn't attending college and what I was going to do with the lack of purpose in my life. I was feeling lost but didn't want to admit it and attacked her in self-defence, making fun of her cowardice. I behaved like an idiot."