Hero [Ironstrange]

29 - Cheese Puffs

Tony

"bRUce." Donna and I knock at his front door an annoying number of times. "BRUCE!"

"I'm coming." Bruce opens the door, his glasses skewed on his face, a burn on his arm and a fire extinguisher in his hands. "Sorry, my computer caught on fire."

"BRUCE, WE HAVE IMPORTANT INFORMATION." I screech, running over to his garage. He reluctantly opens the garage and lets us all in.

"Nat already told me," he states, closing the garage door once we're all inside. "I see you're finally going to stop being a fucking coward and tell Stephen."

"Well, that's the plan," Donna smirks. I sit down at one of the tables and tinker with some scraps Bruce had. There were burn marks on the table and leftover foam from when Bruce put out the fire. "Though, a track meet isn't very romantic..." 

"What do you expect, Donna, we're fucking sixteen." I scoff, spinning in my chair. 

"I EXPECT SOME FAN-FICTION LEVEL SHIT!" Donna huffs, flipping her medium-length brown hair. 

"To be honest, I don't expect much." Bruce frowns. "It's probably going to be awkward and cringey."

"BRUCE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SUPPORTIVE."

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE SUPPORTIVE WHEN THEY'VE BEEN OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE FOR THE LONGEST TIME?!" 

"It's only been twenty-nine chapters, Bruce, chill." Donna assures. 

Bruce and Donna were about to continue with their proper conversation when Bruce's phone started unexpectedly ringing. 

"Uh....hi Nat?" Bruce answers the call. 

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN ANSWERING MY MESSAGES?!?" Natasha's voice screams through the phone. 

"My computer caught on fire, Tasha, I couldn't check Discord." Bruce groans. 

"THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE, BRUCIE, I KNOW YOU HAVE A BACKUP." Bruce sighs and grabs a laptop off of his shelf. 

"Yeah, but it's only i5, and my other processor was i9." Bruce whines. "I can't believe I blew it up, it was so expensive."

"Oh, boo-hoo, let me press F on the world's smallest keyboard."

"MY KEYBOARD CAUGHT ON FIRE TOO." 

"hI, nAtAsHa." Donna says into Bruce's phone. 

"Damn, is that Donna?" Nat says. "Gurl, after we get ironstrange together, we're gonna get you a girlfriend."

"Or boyfriend." Bruce adds quietly. 

"Yeah, sure," Nat scoffs. "Join the group call."

Bruce ends the call with Natasha and joins the group call with Clint, Nat, Loki, and Bucky.

"Oh...yay...more weird friends." Bruce sighs. 

"Hi, Banner, did you miss me?" Loki winks. 

"I see you every fucking day, Loki, I'm dating your brother." 

"OH mY gOD, hI bRUCE." Clint screams. "WHAT'S gOInG oN, DudE??"

"I'm leaving, it's too early for this shit." Bruce walks over to the door and leaves to go into the house. 

"Okay, is this like another meeting?" Donna squeals. "I can't believe we made it to Step Two!!"

"I KNoW! StEp tWo!" Clint squeals back, but higher. 

"Stop fangirling, we have important manners to discuss," Bucky says in a professional way. "The tea is piping hot, my dudes."

"Okay, so Bucky cleaned his car, so it should be good," Nat points out. 

"Don't have sex in my car... please don't."  

"Hahahahaha, cuz that's reserved for you and Steve." Loki snickers. Clint and Donna burst out laughing, much to Bucky's dismay. 

"So, I was thinking-" Nat starts, but is cut off by the sound of Thor's voice.

"What's going on? I heard screaming." Thor sits down next to Loki, who turned from owo to òwó once his brother sat down. "Oh, it's your moron friends."

"Did he just call us morons?" Clint laughs. "Hey, Thor! We're having a meeting about Tony and Stephen."

"Oh...right, they are very cute together." Thor makes the uwu face. HE DID IT! OH MY GOSH! HE MADE THE FACE! UWU. I try to keep a straight face as this astounding moment passes, and Thor's face goes from uwu to a normal smile. "Is Banner there?"

"No, he left." Donna frowns. "He's probably drowning himself in cheese puffs."

"Unlikely, I took his last pack of cheese puffs, now he has to order more on Amazon." Thor nods. "That's probably why he's upset."

"That and he blew up his computer," Nat adds. Thor gasps in sorrow.

"The i9 processor? He was very proud of that one." Thor pouts. "I named it Steeb, after Rogers."

"Wait...sTeEb wAs a cOmpUter?!?" Bucky exclaims. "Dang, Steve is going to be so sad."

"AnYwAY," Natasha interrupts. "We're supposed to be talking about Operation Ironstrange."

"oOf, yEah, toTaLLy." Clint focuses back on Natasha. 

"Yes, the piping hot tea."  Bucky nods. "Continue."

"So, we'll all meet at the parking lot next to the east side of the bleachers, where Bucky's car is usually parked. The parking lot is facing the track, so we're allowed to look down from there."

"Okay, then once it's time for Pietro's second race, the two hundred meter, we'll all split up, leaving Tony and Stephen alone." Clint continues from Nat's instructions. "Then Tony will romantically tell Stephen that they are soulmates, they'll kiss and everything will go exactly as planned."

"Please don't have sex in my car...." Bucky mumbles. 

"That should be about it." Nat finishes.

"Ha, wouldn't it be funny if both Tony and Stephen confess at the track meet," Loki smirks, mischievously.

"That reminds me, one time, in ninth grade, Loki and Bruce pranked me." Thor starts. "Bruce and I were at an arcade and we were at the giant claw machine, ya know. So, I was about to win something from the claw machine, when Loki popped up from below the huge pile of prizes and said, 'blaaaargh! it's me', and we were banned from the arcade." 

"uM." Bucky gapes. "wELL-"

"GUYS LOOK!" Bruce screeches coming into the garage with ten huge boxes. "MY CHEESE PUFFS CAME!" 

Donna and I gasp at the utter beauty of the ten boxes of cheese puffs. Bruce opened one of the boxes and took out a bag, immediately stuffing the cheesy goodness into his mouth.

"I FUCKING LOVE AMAZON PRIME."

- - -

A/N: I re-wrote chapter 26, so if you haven't checked it out yet, please do! It's  g a y. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as Bruce and I enjoy Amazon Prime (and cheese puffs....and i9 intel core processors). 

Bye.