Open Doors

Chapter 8

TW: Panic attack

As Virgil entered the house, he felt his anxiety immediately rise. His hands shook and he grabbed his phone tightly as an anchor. The house was empty. No food smell. No music. No lights.

They don't want to be around me.

No, they care for me.

Then why aren't they here?

Everyone is allowed to have their own lives.

What if something had happened to them?

It's not likely that something happened to all of them, one of them would have texted me.

Logan doesn't like any of you, he probably found a new apartment.

He is a straightforward person. He would have told us if he was looking for a new place.

What if Roman had gotten mugged?

He is strong, and would have gotten help.

What if Patton had gotten into a car accident?

That last thought pushed Virgil over the edge. He could feel his throat closing up. Closing his eyes he tried to go through his breathing exercises. "Calm yourself Virgil, deep breaths." He could hear his own choked voice echoing in his head. Virgil looked at his phone in his shaking hands. The group chat, he could just message all of them.

What if I am just annoying them? What if they hate me and are too kind to say it? His own thoughts were against him.

He took another breath shakily, finally flipping on a light and looking back at his phone. He would text Patton. Even if Patton hated him he would never say it. Patton was too kind. It was just one text, and they were friends right?

'Hey no one is home u ok' He texted and held his phone up to his lips and began to pace. He held his hand in front of his face. He was shaking. He couldn't control it. Had the air always been so thick? Seconds. Minutes. No response. Virgil gagged on his own throat. He couldn't breath. He needed to get rid of this nervous energy.

The front door opened. He felt the crisp air like it was the first breath he had had in awhile. He let out a small squeak.

"Virgil?" Logan asked quietly. "You look-"

"I'm fine." Almost dropping his phone, Virgil stopped pacing. At least one of them was home, he backed up from the entrance to let Logan in. Virgil wasn't alone. The house wasn't empty. The world was still shaking.

Logan watched him carefully. He wanted to offer his help but thoughts from last night surfaced. He wasn't needed. This time Logan didn't offer to help. It had been shown to him time and time again that he was not the person to go to for bouts of emotional stress.

"Very well, are the others not home?" He asked.

"No." Virgil put on a mask of anger, but his voice cracked as he hid his face behind his sleeves.

Logan did not understand what was going on. In the course of two minutes Virgil's expression had changed three times. "I am going to my room." He began to walk off but Virgil grabbed the bottom his shirt. This sudden interaction made Logan stop, confused. Looking back at Virgil he watched as the anxious man let go. His knuckles were white from how tightly he gripped his phone.

"S...sorry. Instinct."

Logan had to do something. "Follow me." He needed to help. He wanted to help. He wasn't sure he was going to be able to help.

"I don't need your help."

"I did not state that you required assistance."

Virgil followed behind Logan, fighting the urge to grab Logan's shirt again. He didn't want to be alone. He was probably bothering Logan but, just having someone near him helped keep the thoughts at bay. As the stony individual sat down at his desk, Virgil sat on the bed.