Open Doors

Chapter 26

Before Logan could start his story, Dee stood up, to the surprise of everyone there.

"Dee, I am not planning on excluding you from this." Logan pushed up his glasses, hiding his hesitation.

"Oh I'm aware of that, and while I appreciate the effort, I think I have better things to be doing. You don't need an outsider listening to your heart story."

"Dee..." Virgil said, an unspoken conversation happening between the two of them.

"Damn you are such a worrywart. I'll be home before 1 am. You can call the coast guard after that point okay?"

Virgil rolled his eyes but there was a hint of acceptance in his eyes as Dee walked away, exiting the door.

There was a mild look of disgust on Roman's face. Virgil nudged him with his shoulder. "Don't worry about it princey."

"Hard not to after what I saw today." They both nodded in agreement before turning to look at Logan.

"If anyone else feels they don't want to hear this story that is alright."

"None of us are leaving Logie, we want to hear this story. We want to be there for you." Patton said as he reached out and touched Logan's hand.

"I grew up in a fairly rich family. My dad was a published astrophysicist, and my father was a pediatric neurosurgeon. Dad was the emotional backbone of the family, and when I was in middle school, he mugged in a back alley. He didn't even have any cash on him." Logan rubbed a circle on his knuckles. His face didn't show an ounce of emotion, but his hands shook.

"Father and I coped in the only way we knew how. We both threw ourselves into our work. Family time happened less often and though we lived in the same house, it was like growing up alone." Logan took a shaky breath, "Until..." He was having a hard time getting the next words out. Virgil reached out, taking his hand gently as did Patton. Logan clung to both of them as if they were the only safe place in a broken world.

"Until Father came home diagnosed with leukemia." His hands tightened around the other two and his mask of indifference broke. He tried to keep himself calm as a few tears rolled down his face. His voice remained steady though he continued to cry silently. "I was a junior in high school, and my father hadn't been taking care of his health. He had insisted he was fine, so by the time they caught it... we both knew." Logan had his eyes closed now, his breath soft and ragged. He refused to completely break down but the rest of them could see the cracks. "I lost my father two days before my high school graduation. I wasn't quite 18, but I was deemed old enough to not be placed into the system. So when I went to college I was in a bad place emotionally. I attempted to push all of my emotions back, to compartmentalize, and focus on my studies. I thought I could learn to be fine alone, but then I met Lewis."

His voice had a surprising fondness as he said Lewis' name. "He was so accepting. He never required me to speak of what had happened. He told me that it was okay to deal with things in my own time and for the first time since middle school, I felt like someone cared for my well being. I assumed he didn't want me to speak about my past because it made me unhappy. I thought his constant praise was to help me through a dark place. We started dating soon after we met, and though I was hesitant he insisted as long as I stayed by his side he would protect me. Things changed after we started dating" He wrapped his arms around his body and opened his eyes.

"At first, he made me feel wanted."

Logan looked at Roman and they both shared a look. They knew what it was like, to need to be wanted, to need to be loved. Roman knew exactly what that felt like. He too had longed for approval and they had both sought it out from a man who was willing to give it with hidden strings. He still didn't want to believe Logan, but now, he had watched the stoic Logan breakdown twice in one day. He was not that good of an actor, this was real.

"You don't have to continue Specs," Roman said softly.

Shaking his head, Logan looked at Roman, "No, I need to say this. I need to actually tell someone... I... I've never really said it all." He gave Virgil and Patton's hands a reassuring squeeze before pulling away slowly.

"I didn't realize what Lewis was doing to me, not at first. Each time I would begin to make friends because of group projects he would convince me that they hated me, that he was the only one who could love me, that I was broken without him. I believed him. I had been broken before without him, it made sense that if he left I would be broken again. It was a faulty logic that I somehow fell for." Logan's eyes grew serious as he looked directly at Roman.

"He preyed on my insecurities, on my fear that I would be alone. He told me exactly what I wanted to hear but his words were rarely sincere."

Roman nodded.

"He... he had me convinced that he was the only one who would enjoy watching me perform." Roman's voice was soft and low. How had he not realized that? How had he not known that that was a lie?

"Kiddo, you know that's not true. I can't speak for the others, but I love watching you perform."

Roman gave him a weak smile. "Thank you." He turned back to Logan. "So how did you overcome it all?"

"I haven't, at least not yet, I still hear his voice in the back of my head telling me he is the only one who could ever love me. I can still feel his fingers on my skin, coaxing me to his side." Logan shivered.

"No, I mean, how did you get the strength to leave?"

He hesitated. What had it been? "It's hard to find one single moment. I remember I had attempted to break up with him a few times, normally my reasoning being that I wasn't good enough for him. Very rarely would I try to break up with him because I knew there was something wrong with our relationship." Logan pulled his glasses off, grabbing his shirt to clean them, ignoring the tear stains still prominent on his face. "He always pulled me back in with sweet words and fake apologies. I thought this was what was normal. Then, over the summer break, I was supposed to be doing summer school but I couldn't. I was emotionally drained. I had almost failed out of all of my classes and I was on academic probation. My life was spiraling out of control. Lewis was suggesting I take online classes but I knew from experience that it was difficult for me to maintain the focus needed for an online class." Logan put his glasses back on, forcing himself to focus on the topic at hand.

"I woke up one morning in Lewis' arms and I had just a single thought in my head, 'I'm not happy.' Some days with Lewis we're wonderful, we would go out and have fun together, but it was always things he enjoyed. I hadn't gone to a planetarium since my father died. We always ate at the same restaurant. I didn't particularly like the food there, but it was Lewis' favorite. We never ate pizza, which I sorely missed. I don't really know what gave me the strength but that morning I quietly grabbed a few clothes and mementos I had. Then, I left, catching the first train out of the city. I have a terrible fear of flying, I needed to get as far from Lewis as possible, and I needed the time to myself to process."

"One of the few luxuries I had was money. I had been smart enough to never give Lewis my account information, and once I became settled in Florida, I put a name change in and started going to a new college. I left Lewis behind and tried to start over."

"Well, running isn't really my style." Roman lamented.

"No, but you had something much more important than what I had."

He looked at Logan skeptically, leaning back in his chair.

"You have friends."

Roman's face broke into a weak smile. "Yeah, I guess I do."

AN: Hey everyone, we are getting close to the end. I think the next chapter might actually be the last chapter. Today is also the last day of Nanowrimo so tomorrow I will start outlining the two ideas I have for my next book. I posted this question in my one-shot book but I'm also going to post it here. What would you all prefer? And, what would you like to see out of each one? I have a general idea of what I want to do but as I said, I'm still outlining so I have room to move things around.

A High School Slice of Life type book focusing on Deceit, who would be mute in this one, and Patton?

or

A Superpowered AU where Logan is the Villian?