Roadtrip Oneshots

🐝To the End Part 2🌵

Trigger Warning: Suicidal thoughts, depression, mentions of self harm.

*Rye's POV*
It had been months since Andy and I haven't left my house. The worse part about all of this was that Andy had lived on his own. No parents to even answer to since they kicked him out a year ago.

All his stuff gone. The only thing I had left of his was a few jumpers he had left at my house and his phone.

What no one knew was that I still paid for his line so everyday I could call him, just to hear his voice and everyday I would leave him a message telling him how much I loved him. But it was useless now. Now he was gone and now I was lost.

I knew he was in pain and I knew he was hurting himself but I didn't so anything but stay by him. If only I had realized he was in this much pain.

I could have helped. I could have done something.

"Rye, can you please come our and play something with us," one of the twins said.

"Please Rye. You've barely left your room," the other one said. I know their voices but my mind was so scattered I couldn't tell which one was which.

"Just go away!" I yelled. I could tell they flinched and they left. I know it was harsh of me but I didn't care. I just wanted to be alone.

I decided this was the perfect time to call Andy so I did. As soon as I heard the beep of his voicemail, I couldn't hold back tears.

"I wish I could see you baby. I miss you so much. You mean the absolute world to me. I just wish I could say it to your face. I wish I could tell you how much I love you. How much you mean to me. How much it is killing me to not have you. You are the only one for me," I hung up.

Maybe, I can see him. Of course I've thought of this many times. But the thought of leaving my family has stopped me. But maybe this is what I need to do. I'm meant to be with Andy. I'm destined to be with him. Without him I'm absolutely nothing. So maybe it's what's best.

I got up, dressing myself and throwing in one of Andy's jumpers. I wrote a note and left it on my bed for my mom to see and I left through the window.

I went straight to Andy's house, a for sale sign still in the yard. I went to the back taking the key I still had from when Andy gave me one of his spares that he made, refusing to give it up and I unlocked the door walking in.

I walked into the kitchen and imagines of Andy were instantly flashing through my head. I remembered us making a makeshift dinner out of whatever Andy had left in his kitchen. Not caring how it tasted just wanting to see our creativeness.

I walked to the living room, it being completely empty but not to my mind. I remember sitting there with his head on my shoulder as we went through movies, TV series, anything together.

I walked up the stairs past the bathroom. My head flooding with images of Andy laying there, red everywhere. Holding him in my arms as he was taken away from me.

I got to his room shutting the door behind me. The bed was gone but I could still see it. Andy was sleeping on it and I had come back in from getting a drink. He looked so innocent and I knew I loved him then. I sat down next to him quickly kissing his forehead and whispering I love you before turning and going to sleep myself.

My body feel to the ground now. Years were falling down my face freely. I pull out a bottle I had in the pockets of my joggers. Sleeping pills.

I started using the the first month that I lost Andy and I haven't stopped. I dumped them all out in my hand. I was getting ready to take then all when someone grabbed my arm.

I looked up and there he was. As beautiful as ever. "A-Andy," I stuttered out. "It's me Ryan," he said with a soft smile. "I've missed you so much," I cried out. "I know Rye. But this," he says motioning to the pills in my hand and shaking his head. "You have to live on for me."

"I-I can't. I-I need you," I cried out. "I will always be with you Rye. Watching over you. But you have to move on. You can't keep dwelling on me," he said. "But I love you and only you," I said. "And that will change one day. Trust me. You have an amazing future ahead of you. Now go home, please," he said.

"I don't want to love anyone else. You are the first person I fell in love with and the only person I want to love," I said. "I promise you, things will get better for you. I promise Rye but you have to try to make things better too," he said and I shook my head. "Promise me you'll try," Andy said. "No," I said quickly not wanting to lose him. "Promise me Ryan," he said and I couldn't deny him anymore. "I promise," I said and with that he kissed me. I closed my eyes, melting into the kiss.

As soon as I opened my eyes he was gone. I got up and left. The pills forgotten along with my entire plan for that day. The only memory in my mind was Andy kissing me.

I snuck back into my room, realizing the note still laying on my bed.

I love you all. I really do. But I can't keep this up. I can't live without him.

As much as I wanted this to be true I had made a promise. So I ripped up the note and laid down in bed. Letting the beautiful memories of Andy play through my head as I let myself sleep knowing tomorrow I would start to work towards the promise I had made him.

I know this isn't the best but I had an idea going for this and just lost how I wanted a lot of it to go. Also it's 5:30 in the morning and for some reason I am still up and this was the first time I've had an idea for something in a long time.