Roadtrip Oneshots

🙈Something About You Part 2☀️

Dear Sonny,
It's so hard to keep it to myself. It's so hard to not tell anyone about our little nights. The nights we spend with just each other.

The kisses shared. The talks we have. The fun we usually end up having. But it never seems to be anything more that to you and it means everything to me.

I am so utterly in love with you that the only way to keep my feelings from just exploding out of me is to write them all down.

I probably sound stupid. I've fallen in love with my best friend. But I can't get it to stop. There's just something about you that draws me to you.

I want you to myself. I've never been one to be jealous or hurt easily but when you give any of the other guys attention or they give you attention it kills me inside. I want to end them. I want you to be mine.

But I know I don't matter to you like that. I know I never will because I am just your best friend.

I know you like Andy. You've talked about it so many times and I try to be happy for you but I can't. I can't be happy that you like him. I hate sitting there and listening to you talk about him.

I'm sure if you have me the chance it'd sound I'd sound like you when you talk about Andy. I can see the love in your eyes for him and that's what hurt the most.

But I'm the only one who has secret nights with you. I never am the one to go to you about these nights it's always you.

But that's just our benefit of being friends. We can have side relationships with no feelings attached. That's how it's suppose to be for us.

But it didn't work that way. I love you. I love you with everything in me and I hate myself for it. I hate that I love my best friend. J hate that I have to sit there and pretty much die because I can't just be with you.

I know it's not possible but it's all I think about. All I dream about. It's holding me back but in a good way. I know you are the love of my life and maybe one day you will have the same feelings for me but by the looks of it it will be you and Andy.

When he talks about you, you can hear the love in his voice. You can hear the longing. You can hear everything that I feel. He loves you just like I love you. But you like him. Not me.

I'm not the one chosen first and I've come to that conclusion. I just thought it wouldn't hurt anymore after all these times. But for this, because it's you, it hurts so much more.

I feels like my heart is breaking into millions of pieces every single day that I'm not with you. Everytime I realize you don't love me.

I need to take a break. I need to go home and relax. I need to figure this out. But that involves leaving and I can't do that. I can't break the band.

Ryan Robertson, you will always mean the world to me. And to keep you in my life I will suffer. I will allow myself to hurt for you. For this band. Because as much as I want it to stop I can't make it stop. Because there's something about you that draws me to you.

That makes my body long for yours. Your kisses, your touch, your look, your everything.

I love you so much and you will never realize how much I love you.

Brooklyn